Rounding Home Plate

We're almost there!

Thursday, May 7th, around 11:30am my c-section is scheduled at Abbott NorthWestern Hospital.

My amniotic fluid has been up and down again. I had an office visit last week where I was having contractions every 6-8 minutes. Yep, I was excited! I thought for sure that it wouldn't be too much longer before I drove to the hospital in labor. Yeah, right. So much for another "April baby" like Alli and myself were - as well as my best friend Kathleen and her daughter Evie.

I swore that towards the end of pregnancy I wouldn't bitch and moan like every woman seems wont to do. But I have to say a few words:

I am tired. My back hurts. My belly muscles ache. I'm tired of heartburn. I'm peeing every 15 minutes.

I'm just ready to meet my other daughter and get my body back. I'm sure Dave feels the same way but for an entirely different reason. He was ready for the hormone levels in the house to return to normal about 6 months ago.

Still, we have come a long way and are very excited. I just pray to the Gods that everything goes better than we expected and I am not completely laid up for the following 6 weeks. It's been 8 years since I had Allison, and I don't remember much about the c-section but that it burned when I peed after they took out the catheter. lol

Anyways, we have plans to take the laptop with us to the hospital to make sure we can upload photos and email updates to everyone. Thanks so much for your blessings and well wishes!

Speaking To Soon

I went to my normal Tuesday doc appointment yesterday.

My amniotic fluid had decreased to 5.8, from the 7.X that it's been holding steady at for the last couple visits. My wonderful nurse advised me that anything at 5 and under, since I was 37 weeks, was an indication of an earlier c-section than May 7th that they planned for. Since I'm thankfully so far along, they just wouldn't want to mess around with trying to wait longer and me and the Melon getting into a distress situation.

I spoke with Dr. Wothe after the non-stress test, and luckily the Melon was doing great with a steady heartbeat - no signs of distress. The only thing he did caution me about is if decreased movement - less than 10 movements in 2 hours - to come right in after calling the MAC (Maternal Assessment Center).

She's been kinda lazy with her movements the last day or two, and it was explained to me that as long as she is still moving normally, even if her movements aren't as vigorous, it's due to the decrease in room because of the lower fluid level. So, me, being the paranoid person that I am, will be doing kick counts today every few hours just to make myself feel better.

I've also decided to drink strictly water until my Friday appointment instead of counting any Juicey Juice or milk as fluid. My own experiment to see if that makes a difference in the fluid levels.

Also, we started the Heparin injections last night.
Wow, it makes me miss the Lovenox. Dosing myself 1.3 ccs every 12 hours (6am and 6pm), out of these itty bitty teeny tiny vials of 20,000 units per 1 ml....it's annoying because I have to use two of them each time I dose. And DUDE, you should SEE the length of the needle on the 3 cc tuberculine syringes they gave me. Crap on a stick are they ever long! It's seriously like a 2 and a half inch long needle for the 3 cc syringes.

It just amazes me when I think of how little I personally have gone through... knowing that it may be a lot of medical issues - Factor X/Lupus Anticoagulant, constant blood thinner injections, lab draws, doctor visits - for me, but that there are other women out there who have gone through so much more in order to carry their babies to term. That's what keeps me going.

We're close now. Whether they tell me this Friday we're rescheduling for a sooner c-section, or we can safely wait until May 7th...we are definitely looking forward to our new addition.

Overwhelmed much?

No further updates on my Tuesday and Friday doc appointments due to the fact that things haven't changed all that much. My amniotic fluid level has swung from 10 to 7, and is holding steady at 7, with bed rest still prescribed.

Some news as of last Friday's appointment: MN Perinatal has tentatively scheduled my c-section for May 7th at 11:30am. I say 'tentatively' because it could be May 8th - dependent on my labs.

They are switching me from Lovenox injections to Heparin injections. I had to jump through a few hoops to get that all squared away - including a PA (prior authorization) that we had not anticipated. The PA was approved, but Walgreens doesn't carry the necessary dosage that I needed. They'll have it in tomorrow afternoon they said - so I'll start it beginning Wednesday, and have a lab draw on Thursday to see if they need to adjust dose.

Again, being switched from Lovenox to Heparin is due to the fact that Heparin has a shorter life in the body than Lovenox does. It ought to be fun... I have to draw up my own Heparin and inject as normal. Lovenox apparently, is the lazy persons' blood thinner injectable. lol Yes, I find it humorous. :)

So.... we've started making lists and checking them several times. Not like we need to bring much to the hospital, but with my memory the way it is right now, always best to rely on the written word.

Also... we've started going through stuff. I keep offering things to friends and asking them to come over and figure out if there's something they could possibly NEED. We have less than 3 weeks before the Melon makes her appearance, and less than 8 weeks before we move to our single family home in Roseville.

And please don't take this as bitching, but even though I've gained about 14 pounds total the entire pregnancy so far (which is good and fine and dandy) I feel like I've gained about 40 pounds and everything is stretched out and uncomfortable and ... and ... while I feel blessed to have made it happy and healthy to this far point of nearly 37 weeks with this baby, it's just really hard to get comfortable. Daytime naps are becoming more common.

In fact, time for one now.

DIY Breast Pump?

So Dave and I were lying in bed Friday around 11:30 at night and we started talking about some of my fears of breast-pumping/feeding and how, while I would love to just breast feed, it's always good to have a milk supply in the freezer instead of having to use formula like I had to with Alli.

Then, we got around for some reason to talking about the FoodSaver vacuum sealer that we have. And Dave started talking about how we should work on retro-fitting it to make the motor into a working breast pump.

WHA??????????????

I think the first words out of my mouth were "Uhhh NO. Let's stick your manhood in the vacuum and see how you like it. I don't need my nipples ripped off!"

We'll be buying my breast pump, thank you very much.

MN Perinatal - Friday Appointment

The ladies in the Edina office are WONDERFUL. Let me just say that. And have I told you how I love, love, LOVE the doctors there?

Anyways, I went in for my 2pm appointment today. We did the BPP and non-stress test. "The Cabbage" as Dave calls her, did great. My amniotic fluid is a bit lower, but steady, and not alarming to the staff. So we are essentially still in a holding pattern.

Dr. Ney - who I admit, is of my favorites next to Dr. Gazianno - was even telling me that if I wanted to, I could set up appointments into May as I already have April appointments scheduled. All I could think of was "Ummm sure." While in my head I'm screaming out "OH GODS PLEASE LET ME HAVE THE BABY BEFORE THEN!!!!!!!"

Let's face it: For those of you who truly know me, you know I'm not a patient person. I completely LACK patience. Christmas is not one of my better times of the year, nor my birthday.

I am not the typical pregnant woman. I don't just assume that everything has been great up to this point and we will end up with a happy healthy baby and I should just run out and buy the rest of the baby's things. No.

I am the type of woman who's been pregnant before... and lost. Being this far into the 3rd trimester makes me feel EXTREMELY blessed, and NERVOUS. I just feel like the sooner I deliver, the sooner our baby will be safe from my body. The sooner we can hold her and count her fingers and toes... see if she has hair... attempt pumping and breastfeeding. Again.

When the OB visit was nearly over I asked Dr. Ney a question that I've been forgetting to: Can I/Will I be able to pump and/or attempt to breastfeed while I'm on blood thinners? This question has no definitive answers online - in fact, there's much that's misunderstood about anti-coagulants.

Dr. Ney looked me right in the eye and said "Yes. Your body is ready this time; you aren't sick. You are healthy, and healed." She went on to give me greater confidence by telling me that the dosage of blood thinner I am on is considered "prophylactic" - meaning a preventive dosage.

On one hand, I thought I would never want to give the whole breastfeeding and pumping thing a try, but on the other hand, I never had the chance to breastfeed Alli because my milk ran out before she came home. It made me feel like a failure to some extent. However, years later, I am an older, wiser mom. I know that if I give it my all, I'll be fine. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. I'm not going to beat myself up over it. Or let someone else make me feel guilty because they think that I didn't try hard enough.

We are moving along though with the accumulation of baby things. I'm thinking about ordering some things from Amazon in a week or so. Don't want to crowd the house up too much now, do I.

Surprise!

One thing that Dave and I kept under close wraps until just recently really is the fact that I'm 32 weeks pregnant today. Yes, this means that I was finishing up my first trimester when we were getting married in November. :)

Because of previous disappointments/losses and not wanting to get our hopes up, we decided to tell only a few select people who were encouraging and happy for us, but also cautious.

I have a previous history of pre-eclampsia with my daughter Alli. She was delivered at 27 weeks by emergency c-section, weighing in at 1 pound, 11 1/2 ounces. Yes, I know I've probably related this information before, but it bears repeating to bring you up to date on the current pregnancy.

So from day 1 that I was aware I was pregnant this time, I have been seen by Perinatologists through MN Perinatal Physicians. I have been lucky enough this time to not have any major issues - no signs or symptoms of pre-eclampsia, no gestational diabetes, etc.

My luck has held.... until last Thursday (3/12/09). I went in expecting a regular OB check and Bio Physical Profile and came out with a letter from my Perinatologist putting me on bedrest.

Good grief.

Apparently after my second BPP, they noticed that I had the same low levels of amniotic fluid when they did the amniotic fluid index sampling. They find this concerning - as I do - enough to put me on bedrest indefinitely.

Then, after being told I'm on bedrest, we still needed to meet the next day (Friday 3/13/09) with the anesthesiologist at Abbott Northwestern, where my MN Perinatal Physicians are going to be delivering me by c-section.

And so, Dave came with me to meet with Dr. Abbott for the consult at the hospital. Two things became immediately clear:
1.) I could be knocked out for the birth - again - like I was with Alli.
2.) Or, I could be awake for the birth - which scared me more.

(Back story: Because of my blood disorder that causes clots (Lupus Anticoagulant), I have been on Lovenox blood thinner since the day I found out I was pregnant, as well as 1 81mg tablet of Aspirin daily, per my perinatologists. This has been monitored closely to make sure that there are no clots that present, as they could potentially cut off blood flow to the placenta and kill the fetus.
We've been blessed this pregnancy in that my Hematologist and Perinatologists do communicate quite well most of the time.)

So anyways...Dr. Abbott was saying that if I need to be delivered prior to 36 weeks, I will likely be under general anesthesia with a breathing tube and all that fun stuff that I had with Alli. Honestly, I'm not worried if that happens - Been there, done that.

If, however, we can make it past 36 weeks with everything working out well, then the docs will switch me over from Lovenox (which has a 12 hour life span) to actual Heparin (which has a life span of 6 hours or less) so that if they need to do some quick work and get the baby delivered they don't have to worry too much about excessive blood loss. Always a nice thing.

As of right now, things are progressing. I'm eating and sleeping. Dave is calling the baby "the cabbage" because that's the size it was compared to on my babycenter.com weekly email update. Alli is VERY excited about being a big sister to a little sister.

Oh, didn't I tell you it's another girl? :)

Just the latest...

After spending the last couple weeks dodging people, accepting condolences, having people dodge ME, and getting on with life here, I would say most things seem to be back to normal for myself and my little family.

We've refocused the energy we were using for the baby to cleaning out our nest, taking care of little things that needed to get done (cleaning out the basement/storage area, cleaning out the other finished portion of the basement - the family room) and regaining health.

I've decided to go back to trying to lose more weight - sensibly. Not like I'm a huge a$$ cow, but I wouldn't mind looking a little more on the voluptuous side in our handfasting pictures, instead of bloated and sporting a near double chin. Whomever said double chins are in, LIED.

Dave has been nothing but supportive and loving - with the exception that he can't process some of the deeper emotions that I as a woman go through during the grieving process. *shrugs* And the whole 6 weeks of pelvic rest isn't all roses, but there are ways around that.

My hematologist, Dr. Wienshel, agreed to let us give this conception thing another shot in about 6 months - to quote Dave: "You tell him that we are getting married November 1st.... and that we are going to start trying to have another baby that night!"

According to the latest information that I was given when I went in for the D&C, Dr. Ney from MN Perinatal (whom I love to death! she performed my last d&c and was nothing but the nicest and calmly up-front doctor) advised me before they took me in for the procedure that the vials they had drawn from me at MN Peri on Thursday were testing positive for CMV and that likely could be a cause why the pregnancy terminated.

For all those not familiar with CMV, it's a virus and according to one of the websites I found (I think it was March of Dimes or some medical journal), Cytomegalovirus is the "...number one condition responsible for congenital mental retardation..."

It's too strange that over half of all adults will have contracted this by the age of 40 and exhibited little or no symptoms aside from minor cold or flu-like ones, and they go on their merry way without issues. However... for someone of my compromised immune system (due to clotting and platelet issues) and pregnant, when I contracted CMV, my body didn't have antibodies to fight off the virus, and my baby wasn't able to do it alone, so the pregnancy ended without my knowledge.

However, from what I read from various websites, this baby was honestly better off checking out than hanging around, waiting to be born to a possibly less than ideal quality of life.
From the CDC:

"Each year in the United States, about
1 in 750 children are born with or
develop disabilities as a result of CMV infection."

"Most babies with congenital (meaning from birth) CMV never have health problems. But, in some babies, congenital CMV causes health problems when
the baby is born or later in the baby’s life. These health problems may include

* Hearing loss
* Bleeding problems
* Vision loss
* Liver problems
* Mental disability
* Spleen problems
* Lung problems
* Growth problems

Sometimes health problems such as hearing or vision loss do not occur until months or years after birth. With proper care, most infants with CMV disease survive. Of those with symptoms at birth, 80% to 90% will have problems within the first few years of life. These problems may include hearing loss, vision loss, and various degrees of mental retardation. Of those infants with no symptoms at birth, 5% to 10% will later develop various degrees of hearing and mental or coordination problems."

I ran across a website where a woman was talking about her child and how she was a miracle baby who had spent her whole first year in the hospital and had numerous procedures, seizures, lung problems, etc - and yet she was a 'miracle'.

I'm sorry, but when you love someone or something so much, to see it suffer through it's first year of life... I don't think that's a miracle. I think it's fairly cruel. I came across another mother who's first daughter suffered the effects of CMV and had developed severe cerebral palsy, was unable to do barely anything but drool - and although she loved her daughter, understandably, when she became pregnant again and tested positive for a recurrent strain of CMV, she terminated the pregnancy 11 weeks in because it was too much of a risk for her to take that she would bring another unsuspecting soul into the world and have it possibly turn out for the worse again.

I've always believed there's a reason for everything happening, as trite as that sounds. To me, this was another angel taking a peek into our family, I think, and saying "Hey, I'll be back later, ok? You guys seem kinda busy. I'll stay forever next time!"

I go back to MN Perinatal May 13th for a post D&C check up and for some additional results. Dr. Ney did tell me that the baby was perfect, although obviously small. It had all 10 fingers and 10 toes, she said. For whatever reason, that made me feel better.

The Two Pound Soul

So....

I went in on Thursday April 17th to my Perinatal appt. It was supposed to be routine enough. And I suppose in a way it was for me.

I peed in a cup. I got weighed - I lost 2 pounds! And I've been eating normal and all. Weird, I thought.

The nurse tried to find the baby on the in-room ultrasound which isn't really the best. I'm sure my fat roll didn't help at all. At least that's what I was blaming the fact they didn't see anything on.

The doctor came in - Dr. Lynch-Salaman. AWESOME, one word. We moved to a fully equipped ultrasound room and the tech and the doctor decided to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound for best results.

And there, on the screen, was no heart beat, and my fetus that I had started calling a "baby" even though I know better, curled up like a centipede curls up when it dies. Dr. Lynch-Salaman was apologetic and extremely kind in my first moments of shock.
And no, I didn't break down there; I had to remain calm to drive myself home to Dave so I could tell him the news. The nurse offered to let me use her cell phone - she was sweet and I declined. There's just some things you want to do in person.

The doctor and the nurse worked it so that on Monday I get to go to North Memorial Hospital for the initial cervix-opening procedure, and then on Tuesday, the full D&C at Abbott. Allegedly, the cervix-opening procedure is supposed to be gentler on your body and better for when you try to have more children later on. I told the doctors that I really didn't think it mattered since this was going to be my 3rd D&C in 8 years due to tissue not passing when the pregnancy self-termed. I knew what to expect as far as the surgical D&C.

Then they threw this procedure for the cervix at me. Yikes. They stick Laminaria, or seeweed sticks into the opening of your cervix - as many as the doctor feels is appropriate to help open it - as the sticks swell and soften the cervix. They each have a loop and are all tied together as they hang from your cervix. I talked to the nurse at North Perinatal Clinic at the hospital and they said likely to expect cramping, possibly some discharge, but if tissue and bright red blood presented, to head directly to the ER - meaning my cervix is dilated enough and is trying to pass the fetus without assistance from medical personnel. This would be me, RUNNING to the ER.

So as I lay in bed on Thursday night talking to Dave, we had gotten past most of the heartbreak -for the moment- and I said something about how I lost two pounds from the last time I'd been to the perinatal clinic.... and I wondered if a soul was two pounds. We looked at each other. I teared up a bit. This baby was not expected, but it was wanted. It was almost like we were on borrowed time from the beginning. Were we greedy? Or stupid?

I feel stupid, after the fact, having told people - even though things were kosher and swimming along just fine. It's easier to share good news, than to share bad news and have people feel extraordinarily uncomfortable. You put on a brave face, put the "logic" chip back in your brain and explain to people that it's okay, it was unplanned, and you and your significant other are doing well and have plans to actually plan/try next time, and yes, it's never easy, but there are truthfully always others who are worse off than you are.

To the mothers out there who have gone nearly a whole pregnancy and lost their babies, who have lost them at 20 weeks, who have given birth and had a stillborn child.... I have nothing to complain about when I think about those mothers. And yes, they are still mothers.

I am still lucky in many eyes, including my own. I have a beautiful little girl who just turned 7 on Friday the 18th. I just thought that if this baby was supposed to be here, it would have been perfect for the timing. We'll always have next time, right?

27 weeks to go

Now that the room has stopped spinning and I can eat peanut butter related items again, I'm just having to deal with the fatigue. Which is normal - and believe me, I'm not complaining! Just stating a fact.

I remember when I was prego with Alli that I used to fall to sleep and it would take a foghorn in the ear to wake me up. Exhaustion was my constant companion then.... but it's mild now compared to what I remembered. Still, I'm old. I turn 29 on Sunday. Alli turns 7 on the 18th of April. Which brings me to remember what it was like when she was born and how I'm preggers again. Oy.

When Alli was born, it was by emergency c-section and I was about 27 weeks with pre-eclampsia and HELLP. She emerged at just about 1 pound, 11 and 1/2 ounces. Talk about traumatic for us both!

And so now, nearly 7 years later, I look back on her birth and promise myself and my family that this time should not be nearly so traumatic or dramatic. According to my perinatologists, I have only a 25% chance to develope pre-eclampsia again, and that knowing about any predisposition means that we are armed to take better care this time. I think a large factor that is in my favor this time is that Dave isn't asking for a divorce when I'm 6 months pregnant (as my ex husband did). *L* Stress is never good, let alone when you're pregnant. Go figure.

But... so far all is well and normal. I have my Level II ultrasound in about 6 weeks to check for additional possible issues and do a really COOL 3D picture of the baby. We should also be able to see something as to the gender as well. I'm pretty darn excited this time - Alli was a surprise, but I am too old for surprises. *L* I want to know what gender it is so we can plan ahead. No fun you say? Oh well. I have enough surprises daily with my 7 year old.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

I am exactly 8 weeks pregnant today. I have no fear in sharing this as I went to see my Perinatologist for the first time this morning.

They performed a trans-vaginal ultrasound ... lo and behold! A baby with a heartbeat of 164 beats per minute was clearly visible!!

This was entirely a surprise and completely unplanned - in fact, Dave and I have been working in the OPPOSITE direction as I was on Coumadin (which crosses the placenta - no good) and according to my Hematologist he wanted me to wait until this summer to go back on the Lovenox (safe for baby, pregnancy good).

Luckily, although I went into the doc about 4 weeks ago because I thought I had a urinary tract infection and they diagnosed me as pregnant, I haven't had any issues. Praise the Gods. No bleeding, no cramping; just nausea and the occasional minor headache..... and FOOD CRAVINGS that have been driving Dave nuts. *L*

Seriously? I was craving chilli and ate a whole can for lunch yesterday. It was SO GOOD. And I paid for it by feeling stuffed for 7 hours until I ... well...let's just say the juice helped me out with getting rid of that bloated and miserable feeling. *L*

According to my Perinatologist, Dr. Fairbanks (a lovely, well-organized physician, very caring and astute) even though I'm considered to be high risk due to previous pre-eclampsia with Alli, and my blood disorder issues, she was reassuring when I asked her what my chances of full term birth were and she looked me in the eye and said "I would say you have a 98% likelihood of having a happy, healthy baby." I then asked if it was okay to tell people and she said "I don't see why not! A heartbeat is a wonderful thing." It put my mind at ease and put me on guard for taking care of myself - which between Dave and myself, we've been doing quite a good job. :)

He loves me so much...he's been making dinner for the last month - letting me ly down on the couch and catch a 15 minute snooze while he preps dinner, and then runs to pick up Alli from the bus. When he and Alli return, he then completes dinner prep and has been taking care of the kitchen for the most part. My HERO! :)

We finally told Alli tonight and she is ecstatic about being a big sister. My best friend Kathleen, and my other friends Beckah, Jenn, Sheila, etc.... they were all told and are excited for us as well.

It's funny when you think about it though. I'm due October 7th. Dave's birthday is October 9th. Even if they decide to schedule me for an early c-section, my sister's birthday was September 21st.... which made me pause. :) And then we are still getting married November 1st. Oy! So MUCH to do this year - and I haven't even gotten into how my little brother, Alex, who's 19 this November is going to moving in with us this summer and staying for the length of Le Cordon Bleu cooking program...or longer.

I'm looking forward to the challenges this year is going to be bringing. Aren't you? *L*

Baby News

No, I'm not pregnant, yet. But Kathleen is! Having now passed her 22 week, they were able to do an ultrasound and determine that the doctor says Kas is having a .... are you ready?

*drumroll*


GIRL!


Yes, Charlie was a bit disappointed at first, but he's definitely come around; Kathleen made sure of that.
Believe me, Aunty Witchy is going to be mighty involved. :)

And I just realized that my year is shaping up like this:

Jan-Feb: Plan Kathleen's Baby shower with her mother in law and mom
March: Kathleen's Baby Shower
April: Mine, Alli's and Kathleen's birthdays -
Late April/May: Baby due!
October: Bachelorette Party for me
November: Wedding!

Man, I'm gonna be pooped by the time we get married.

And then my leg went numb...

Yeah, I know. What a way to grab attention.

Seriously though, I'm fine now. Last Thursday night I wasn't so certain when my left leg (the leg that has the clot in it) went numb and all tingly for a few hours. I wasn't panicked, but I was concerned and knew it was either a nerve that was compressed for some odd reason, or it was an unhappy thing concerning the existing clot.

Friday afternoon I left work for an emergency ultrasound at Fairview Southdale. Then was sent home to await further instructions.

Good news: From the ultrasound, they could determine that the clot hadn't changed - no bigger, no smaller, it's all good.

Better news: The tingly feeling with the previous numbness had to be due to a nerve. Which has happened before.... you know, like when you sit on the toilet too long, and then one of your legs goes numb.... okay, maybe I'm the only one that's happened to. uhhhh....

I see Dr. Weinshel on Monday again. Consultation to discuss moving forward. What he thinks I should be doing from here on out, whether it's ultrasounds once a month or if he thinks I should go back on the Coumadin. Cross your fingers and toes that he'll let me remain on the Lovenox. At least for right now.

Gurgle gurgle....

My tummy isn't feeling so well this weekend. Either I'm prego or it's the cheesey egg hashbrown bake we made this morning. I have no excuse as to why my boobs hurt, unless it's just because my hormones are gearing up for me getting my period here in a few days. Still, I have some small hope....even as I tell myself at the same time that it'll happen when it's supposed to. (But I want it to happen NOW! WAHHH! *lol*)

Every time I talk to Kathleen on the phone, I offer up prayers of thanks to the Gods. Her pregnancy is progressing just as it should, and she and Charlie get more excited as the days go by. I just hope and pray for them that this is a successful pregnancy. :)

Work is work. Helping others daily. I don't hate going into work, but after a while, the tedium gets to me. The busy season is coming though soon, which means we'll have very little time to breathe, let alone worry.

Next weekend the girls and I are hitting the Twin Cities Bridal Association Wedding Fair. Yay! Yeah, even though I'm not so much traditional, as many of you know. I think if anyone would ask why we're going there, I would say "I heard there was cake!"

Kathleen is going to be driving up next Saturday morning and we'll hit Motherhood Maternity stores locally - Ridgedale Mall and Eden Prairie Center Mall both have locations. Apparently Motherhood Maternity has super cute clothes for the lovely pregnant woman. I can only hope I get to utilize those stores too.

It's funny. When I was prego with Alli nearly 7 years ago, they didn't have much for the pregnant woman out in the hicks. I have to wonder if Kathleen would have still found the Motherhood Maternity shop if she hadn't taken my advice and gotten internet access 3 years ago. heh.

Someone's Pregnant...and I'm borrowing her Fertility Monitor

Kathleen is FINALLY pregnant!! YAYYYYYYYYYYY!!! For the first time EVER, in her LIFE, she is prego.

Get it?

Prego! (It's in there.)

Okay, maybe you're too young if you don't get the Prego Spaghetti Sauce reference. Nevermind.

But yay!! So, she's due, funnily enough, at the end of April 2008. hehehe. Like we don't have enough going on in that month, what with MY birthday, Alli's birthday, Kathleen's birthday, Kathleen and Charlie's anniversary.... criminy! Let's just add another birthday in there for the heck of it. Why not?!

So we were talking the other night and she's decided that she's going to let me borrow her fertility monitor since she's pregnant (5 weeks officially ~ they were spreading the word on Monday). She's even giving me some of her pee strips - oh stoppit! They're UN-USED ones. Sheesh.

I think she's hoping I get prego here in the next couple weeks (Yay! I'm fertile the weekend before Alli starts school!) so she and I can share the experience of the nausea, the heartburn, backache, hemorrhoids, and horrendous gas together with a large dose of emotional rollercoaster of feelings on the side.

I have to wonder if we do, will we survive each other's crabbiness, bitchiness, and eating each other out of house and home? Keep you posted.

"The Doctor isn't worried about you at all!"

Oy.

Tuesday night I ran by the ER just to say Hi to all my admirers there at Fairview Southdale. I came ready - pre-packed undies, enough romance novels to read for 10 hours, appropriate Cottonelle clean wipes, and socks...in my Dumbledore's Army bag, no less.

Seriously, I've had a funky feeling in my leg since last Tuesday. And after a day of moving around on it, my left leg began to hurt in the calf. Oh yes, you guessed it dear reader, it's another clot. Yay me!

I spent 3 and 1/2 hours in the ER for them to tell me:
a.) It's a clot
And then called the MOHPA doc on call, Dr. Sang to decide if they wanted to admit me or not. They decided not to, and to have me call my regular Hematologist's office in the morning.
So they:
b.) Sent me home.

Now, the bonuses are that I got to sleep in my own bed and snuggle with my man. The negatives were trying to reconcile the ER docs telling me it's 'a minor clot'. WTF? Whoever heard of a MINOR CLOT???

I played phone tag all day Wednesday as a sat in bed, watching movies with Alli and reading, and generally entertaining us both with this HUGE pack of dry-erase EXPO markers I got - more on that later. Anyways... when it all came down to it, Doc Weinshel's nurse Brianna told me that I can resume all normal activity... they are keeping me on the Lovenox, it's probably a chronic clot that I just happened to notice (sure) and I can go back to work on Thursday without issues, and he's not all that concerned about the clot as it's nonocclusive (which is a fancy word for "not blocking anything") and fairly minor. Brianna kept telling me to wiggle my ankles alot though... Hmm. But yeah...

So this is where it is:

I'm still on Lovenox.
They are not putting me back on Coumadin anytime soon.
We can still try to get pregnant.

But THEN... I've been reading some scary shite the last couple days about the rate of maternal deaths. Most of them are related to c-sections and clotting. Well, DUH that's exactly the two situations I didn't want to see.

But then if you read the article completely, it brings up the fact that most of these women are black, in their late 30's and early 40's, and are unable to have the babies vaginally, and are obese.

I look at myself and think, Hmm...I'm 28, obese, but I would be a planned c-section, and I already take a whole bunch of anticoagulant drugs to keep me where I need to be as far as NOT clotting....oh yeah, and I'm a white chick with no other health problems to speak of...so far.

So in one way, I'm a bit concerned, but in another, I'm not. I would already be labeled a high-risk mother and should already therefore be receiving the best and most specialized care they can offer me.

But then I think about the Perinatologist, Dr. Ney, that I'd spoken to and seen for my D&C. She was so totally on board for me getting pregnant last I saw her. And if Dr. Weinshel is good to go, then I don't see why we shouldn't proceed as planned. I have faith in my doctors, but I'm certainly not ignorant after spending years around them.

Only the God and Goddess can guide us now. Blessings Be to all the harried and adored mothers in the world tonight. :)

Circle of Life

So on Monday afternoon I got an email from Kathleen.

"OHMYGOD! I woke up this morning and I'm OVULATING! OHMYGOD I'm SHAKING!!"

I emailed her back with "I TOLD YOU SO! GET ON IT!!!"

She said that her and Charlie had been talking the night before, and they had kinda talked about how maybe her dad could give them a nudge in the right direction.... and then all the sudden, the next morning, to have her ovulating according to the Clear Blue Easy monitor.... Her mom, Linda definitely said it was a blessing, which it is.


So now, in the circle of life, where a death has occurred, so must a birth.

Believe me, we ALL needed to hear this good news, despite her saying earlier this month that she wouldn't tell anyone if she even ovulated. *l* We all just needed to know that good things can still happen.

So cross your fingers and toes. I'll start the baby blanket to get a head start. ;)

Babies

These days right now it seems like everyone I know knows someone who is pregnant or has just given birth....or is about to!

My best friend, Kathleen, and her husband Charlie have gone through multiple resources trying to get pregnant. Kathleen has PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) and has been steadily losing weight on her own for the last year in the hopes it would have a drastically good effect on her fertility.

This month, in precisely 10 days, she *should* begin to ovulate with the assistance of Femara.

And the bitch won't tell me if she does or doesn't ovulate until mid July. ARRRGHHHH! Seriously, I am THE WORST PERSON to wait for surprises!

According to one study she and I found online, nearly 3/4 of all women placed on Femara to encourage fertility conceive within 3 months and carry to term. Wow. Considering this is the first real infertility medication that her new doc has prescribed, I'm astounded and can't WAIT for the outcome! :) As I keep telling her, now that she has a doc that will actually listen to her and work with her on how to conceive, this medication is just the first step in a long line of many that she can try before ever having to touch artificial insemination or in vitro.

So everyone... cross your fingers and toes for Kas & Charlie. They've been married 6 years and trying that entire time. If anyone would be awesome parents it'd be them for sure!


And speaking of my own baby front.... Yeah? See that ticker up there? It says 2 months. Really, it's fibbing a bit. I decided to go with 6 cycles - because by the end of the 6th cycle I have a doc appt with my Hematologist, Dr. Weinshel, and he can give me the all clear-go ahead when I see him July 19th (I think!). Yay.

The other night Kathleen and I were kidding around... imagining having a wedding with both the bride - myself - and the matron attendant - Kathleen - totally prego and with bellies out a foot from our bodies. We laughed ourselves silly. Then I told her that it would serve me right if she delivered on the day of our celebration - just like I was in the hospital having Alli when I was supposed to be her Matron of Honor when they got married. *L* Luckily, our friend Megan stepped up and they quickly altered the hulacious gown for her small stick figure for the wedding instead. Sigh. Always a bride and never a Matron.

Wedding/Handfasting Update

As some of you who read my blog know, I have found the place that I think we should unite. It's a nice little lodge/house situated off the Audubon Preservation Center between Sandstone and Hinckley, MN.

Good ol' Schwyzer Lodge.

To quote:

"Schwyzer Lodge

The historic Schwyzer Lodge is available for rental for your seasonal family fun. Situated on the shores of Grindstone Lake, this beautiful, charming lodge is an ideal property for a quiet getaway for family and friends. The Lodge has four bedrooms and can sleep up to 14 people. A fully equipped kitchen, fireplace in the living room, three bathrooms and a large screened porch facing the lake make up some of the amenities of this secluded retreat. Plus, you have access to over 530 acres of Wildlife Sanctuary."


I don't know...I just saw it online, and it felt right. I can't wait to see it in person this coming weekend.

Yep. Dave is even going to take some time off this weekend to go and see it with us. Of course I've asked Kathleen and Charlie to come along too - Kathleen is one of the attendants to call quarters for us.

I also asked Beckah if she would so honor us to call quarter; I would love to have my brother Alex call a third quarter, but well...we'll see if our parents will allow him. That leaves a fourth quarter personless. Hm.

Josh, my buddy from work who has a partner with him in a catering business, suggested that he, his girlfriend, Janan his partner, myself and Dave all sit down to dinner and hammer out some details for the cuisine. Dave and I are thinking hearty, down to earth food - lamb stew, veggie stew, artesian breads & cheeses,and possibly a roast for the main meal with the typical vegetable accoutrement, followed by....cake.

Now, the cake has been interesting. When Beckah came over to visit Friday night, Dave and I finally hammered out what we *think* we want. Waning, Full, and waxing moons. The two half moons will be two layer chocolate cake with strawberry filling? Maybe? While the full moon we'd like to be three layers: top layer vanilla, followed by pumpkin butter filling, then spice cake layer, more pumpkin butter, and another layer of vanilla cake. Butter cream frosting as an allover? Yum.

The groom's cake will be shaped like a jack o'lantern and we'd discussed it being carrot cake (without raisins) and cream cheese frosting. Mmmmmmmm....

We shall see. There's just an incredible amount of work to yet go into this. I don't think the planning will seem real until we start paying for things... when money disappears out of your pocket, then things become MUCH more real.

I still haven't had much luck with the gown portion, or what the attendants will wear. I'm not too concerned at the moment. Kathleen might be pregnant or just have had a little one by November 2008 (Gods willing!). I might be in the same boat myself (also, Gods willing!) and would rather wait a bit to see what is going on closer to the wedding.

Mind you, when I was prego with Alli, I didn't gain a pound of fat. But when she was born, I lost 20 in water weight I didn't know I had!

Oops Update

Ha!

Good news: On Monday April 16th at about 2pm the Period Fairy came to visit. She stayed for several days. For this, I am grateful. My doctors would have seriously killed me. I would have maimed myself at the very least. No successful baby-making until I've had 3 more cycles.

And... more good news. We got Dave's chromosomal tests back from Methodist Hospital. He has ALL normal chromosomes! YAY! This means that there's really no reason why we can't have a normal baby with 1 head, 10 fingers, 12 toes... wait...? what?? There's only supposed to be 10 fingers and 10 toes??

Alli... let me count those again.... ;)

Oops

Honey,

Remember the "No Glove, No Love" policy we instituted along with the famous "Rhythm Method"?

If you're reading this, we may have had an oops on April Fool's Day. It was 13 days into my cycle.

And that's no joke! *L*