Once upon a time, I was a 14 year old girl who was in love with the Internet.
My first passion, I logged onto my hotmail account as soon as I could every morning at school as we didn't have Internet access at home. Throughout my formative high school years I was nicknamed "webjunkie" by close friends.
In homeroom, one day while surfing the web, I discovered Paddynet. Paddynet.com started out as paddynet.ie, if memory serves, and went through too many incarnations of the name through the last 14 years to remember them all.
Paddynet opened up my world to 'my friends in the box' as I like to call them. Hundreds of chatters from USA stateside, to all over Canada - Montreal, BC- to yes, encompassing even the UK and Ireland. Most of my 'boys' came from Paddynet or were linked there somehow.
The first boy I ever chatted up really wasn't ever a boy. A man in his mid 30's, his handle online was "Ghostman" and he frequently went by the handle "Lurker". Funny thing, that... I was 17 by the time I started going on with him -- his real name was Glenn and he lived in the UK - he was an assistant English prof at the University of Oxford. How do I know this for sure you ask? Well, we exchanged addresses and wrote each other 'smitten letters' as I termed them. I usually emailed him, but I also sent snailmail to his home and to his office address. He always got them. *shrugs*
From Glenn, I learned that I had a thing for older men. A fetish almost. Older men were more willing from my experience to take things slowly and devoted more time to conversation than keep repeating the words 'wanna cyber?' over and over again. There was actually substance beneath the talking.
We corresponded for a few months outside of online life. Sadly, any budding relationship was squelched by my conscience in reality and online not meeting up. I was 17. He was much older. I figured it was illegal somehow and we quit the 'smitten talk', but remained friends for many years.
Then there was Dale. Also known as "Gunshy" in Paddynet world. Yup, I lost my cyber virginity to him. Sadly, he wasn't even worth it. Turns out he was cybering behind my back with another female chatter that went by the handle "Shy". Go figure.
My next man I met online was Kerry. His online name was "Yrrek" and he played on my sense of confusion being a 17 year old teenager. Kept saying we were soul mates, and how he wanted to take me away from it all. He also mis-represented himself as being in his early 20s. I seriously got sucked into his act... too much of a mind-f*ck to go into here about, but at least for my graduation I got a $100 from him. Huh. Never did I ask for a thing but to meet. The one time we talked on the phone, my parents threatened to look him up, and he disconnected quite quickly. That signaled the end of the fantasy - he turned out really to be a 46 year old man in sheep's clothing.
After that, I had graduated high school, recovered, and was trying to fit into life at the U of MN in Morris. That's where I ended up spending 20 hour days in the computer lab when my 386 PC couldn't handle the strain of the constant refreshing, and they didn't have Ethernet cards those days for laptops.
My taste in bad men continued on to meeting "SkankinPickle" (it's the name of a defunct ska band) online in Paddynet. We flirted, and danced around things. It turned out he was 21 to my 18, lived in Missouri, and we began. We talked on the phone several times a day in my dorm room. He snailmailed me a letter asking if I would be his girl. I couldn't contain my joy. Of course I said yes. We spent a month dancing around meeting, when he asked if he could come out to visit. We figured things out and made arrangements. No, I didn't lose my virginity on that visit.
I lost it when I went to visit him about 2 weeks after he'd been to see me, and after he'd proposed. After spending a week with him in Missouri, I flew back to MN, and started packing my stuff. He flew back to MN to help me pack everything, and we drove to St. Louis, MO. I spent the next 6 months living in sin until we married in Sept of 1998. Our divorce became final in December of 2002.
Having a small child, and no help around me in the form of a spouse or partner, definitely curtailed my online activities. I mainly kept in touch with my good Paddynet friends -- people that I'd know since I was 16 years old, people that had sent wedding gifts to Pickle and I when we were married -- Spacy, Cleo, Ettie, Treps, Pru, Pegs, Catcii, and others. As Alli grew into a toddler, only then did I allow myself to dare trust myself again in attempting anything.
Relying on the love and support of my online family, I soldiered on. This time I started with an interest in a man in CA. A reporter named - of all things - Kerry. A nice guy, we got along like a house on fire, but after a few rousing phone calls we realized that despite it all, we were going to remain just friends.
A boy - desperate for attention - from Florida who worked in a deli. Willing to take a bus trip here to MN... from FLORIDA. After only talking about a week on the phone, he wanted to marry me. Nice kid. Turned verbally abusive when I turned him down. Good thing I did.
Willem, from the Netherlands, is still one of my good friends. A lifelong survivor of CF (Cystic Fibrosis) we clicked... and he still holds a special place in my heart still, but the distance and with us both being poor, we decided it for the best to remain friends.
I took a long break after Willem. I was doing in home daycare at the time and was being pursued (yes, seriously, my chubby ass was being targeted!) by one of the single dads whose 3 children I watched daily. It was enough to put a woman off looking for a long, long time.
Macparland is Irish to the core, a first generation Irish-American, he can tell you anything you want to know about the old country, his endless hockey games (he's played on two teams seasonally), his job working for a huge bank in the East as a key player (although he's too modest to say anything), and will always treat a lady with courtesy and respect. Still he has that twinkle in his eye to make you wonder. And with that shock of white hair... let's just say I had a horrible, insanely awful crush on the poor man for a few years. He dealt with it well. We've snailmailed, talked on the phone...met in person and I was finally able to give him a hug even if it wasn't the seduction I had planned in May 2004 for the Dubliner get together... but hey. He turned out to be my best friend during those few years. And I'll always care for him for that, and how he never failed to treat me as less than someone he respected.
When I had finally grown up, over Mac, I met Baltiman through my good friends Treps and SadPuppy. Baltiman was in his late 30s, a project manager for Siemens in the UK, and wholly stable, and utterly adorable. Within 2 weeks of us starting chatting online, he had proposed how he could come to visit Alli and I... and then we could make Sadpup's and Trep's wedding together. It was honestly, my first real, adult relationship. I'm quite sure he didn't know exactly how to handle someone who was 15 years younger than he, but he did a fine job. We ended up mutually agreeing after a year and a half together long distance that although we loved each other, it wasn't the right kind of love. We remained somewhat friends... but I haven't heard from him in ages.
This now brings us to Spring/Summer 2004. I decided to be adventurous and join EHarmony. What a waste that was. I met a guy - a programmer for the state of Florida, James, a few years older than me; within 2 days of our first conversation on the phone he had bought a ticket to see me without asking me. Then he started calling, constantly, and while he was playing Ultima Online. Yes, it was SO much fun listening to him breathe. I finally deleted the screen shots he sent me of his character in the game. Nerd? No. Desperate Nerd? Maybe.
After another 5 days of phone calls back and forth, I had had enough one night and told him not to call anymore, and to cancel his plane ticket. There was an incident involving Alli crying for my attention and him saying "Is all she ever does cry?" That pissed me off to no end, and I told him "If I wasn't on the f*cking PHONE all the time, I could actually devote more attention to her!" And then I told him to cancel everything. And hung up. And to think, that night before the incident had happened, he had asked me to marry him and move to Florida. Not bad for knowing a guy about a week, eh.
I blocked his phone number. I emailed him my apologies and told him I no longer wanted his attentions and I got the meanest, nastiest emails back. One after another.
Then I blocked his emails.
The next man I met online is one that, unfortunately, deserves his own blog posting because he royally screwed me up. BAD. However, because he and his wily "pron" ways so affected me, I am going to be choosing NOT to relive them in blog. I've bored y'all enough with this crap anyways. I just felt the need to cleanse myself of all those who have come before Dave.
Ahhh... I feel like that was cathartic. I feel... better.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Of Medicine and Men
I get that men don't like to go in and see the doctor. I really do.
I walked in the door tonight from work to Alli yelling down the stairs, "Mommy's home! Daddy's ready to goto the doctor, Mommy!"
Oh boy.
You know it has to be bad if he's taken a shower, and is ready to walk out the door to Urgent Care right when you walk IN the door.
Dave has had a pain radiating from his neck and into the back of his head for the last 4-5 days. At one point we wondered if it was a tumor ("It's not a tumor!" became a staple of conversation), and another offered diagnosis from me was 'tension headache'.
Well by tonight he'd had enough and couldn't take the constant pain anymore.
We went to a new Urgent care for us called "NowCare". It was a nice, clean office. After a 35 minute wait Dave was seen. Alone. He figured he could handle seeing the doctor by himself, although I had my doubts. You know men - they only tell you what they want you to know. For all I know, he could have asked the doctor about having one of his balls removed and I wouldn't know!
Anyways... he came out about an hour later. Diagnosis: Tension Headache or.... Meningitis.
Yeah, those are a bit far apart in diagnosis.
Seeing as Dave hasn't been exposed to any place tropical or around a Meningitis possible person/place/thing, the doc ruled that he was having an extreme case of tension headache and gave him a 'shot in the butt' per Dave's description. Although he couldn't explain to me exactly what that shot did or the name of it... he did just show me the band aid as he was getting undressed for bed. Yes, thank you honey. I needed to see the band aid to prove you weren't talking out your ass about the shot who's name and effectiveness you can't tell me about.
So we filled his prescription for pain meds/migraine meds at Walgreens at 7 o'clock at night and didn't get out of there until after 8pm. I swear, it's like a black hole that just sucks you in to buying crap while you wait for the meds to be filled.
He also purchased a neck messager that buzzes and uses heat to help ease tense muscles. Icy Hot was also on the list. Despite Dave's claims there is a warning on there, I could not find one in regards to "Do not use Icy Hot on genitals". Hmm.
So we are home, he's been poked, heated, fed cereal, and we are going to bed. Hopefully he'll feel better tomorrow.
I walked in the door tonight from work to Alli yelling down the stairs, "Mommy's home! Daddy's ready to goto the doctor, Mommy!"
Oh boy.
You know it has to be bad if he's taken a shower, and is ready to walk out the door to Urgent Care right when you walk IN the door.
Dave has had a pain radiating from his neck and into the back of his head for the last 4-5 days. At one point we wondered if it was a tumor ("It's not a tumor!" became a staple of conversation), and another offered diagnosis from me was 'tension headache'.
Well by tonight he'd had enough and couldn't take the constant pain anymore.
We went to a new Urgent care for us called "NowCare". It was a nice, clean office. After a 35 minute wait Dave was seen. Alone. He figured he could handle seeing the doctor by himself, although I had my doubts. You know men - they only tell you what they want you to know. For all I know, he could have asked the doctor about having one of his balls removed and I wouldn't know!
Anyways... he came out about an hour later. Diagnosis: Tension Headache or.... Meningitis.
Yeah, those are a bit far apart in diagnosis.
Seeing as Dave hasn't been exposed to any place tropical or around a Meningitis possible person/place/thing, the doc ruled that he was having an extreme case of tension headache and gave him a 'shot in the butt' per Dave's description. Although he couldn't explain to me exactly what that shot did or the name of it... he did just show me the band aid as he was getting undressed for bed. Yes, thank you honey. I needed to see the band aid to prove you weren't talking out your ass about the shot who's name and effectiveness you can't tell me about.
So we filled his prescription for pain meds/migraine meds at Walgreens at 7 o'clock at night and didn't get out of there until after 8pm. I swear, it's like a black hole that just sucks you in to buying crap while you wait for the meds to be filled.
He also purchased a neck messager that buzzes and uses heat to help ease tense muscles. Icy Hot was also on the list. Despite Dave's claims there is a warning on there, I could not find one in regards to "Do not use Icy Hot on genitals". Hmm.
So we are home, he's been poked, heated, fed cereal, and we are going to bed. Hopefully he'll feel better tomorrow.
Watch What You Say
The other day I was wiggling my rather large rump into my favorite pair of jeans.
Trust me, these are soft, smoothly worn down jeans from Lane Bryant, size 26, that I've had for the last 4 years. I LOVE THEM.
I was able to wiggle most of my plumpness into the jeans without a problem. I was even able to pull the zipper up without too much of a struggle.
It's when I tried to breathe that I realized my roll was constricted and I couldn't feel my toes. heh.
That's about the time I yelled to Dave, "Honnnnneeeyyyyyyyy! Damn these jeans..." and I sighed and mumbled something about losing 5 or 10 pounds to fit into my favorite jeans as he arrived in the bedroom and took in my gasping form.
On Sunday, we were just hanging around the house - Dave was working, Alli and I were at the kitchen table going over Valentines for her class list.
Out of the blue, Alli tells me "I need to lose some weight, mommy."
This is a 5 year old child. Barely 34 pounds, and about 3 feet tall. Yeah, I think NOT.
I looked at her and asked, "Pumpkin, who told you that?!"
She responded with a shy, "No one."
I tried a different tact; "Where did you hear that from?"
With great trust and adoration she looked directly into my eyes and said, "You."
Shock stopped me short. It was such a simple thing that I'd said, with no reflection about my body image to myself. I don't EVER knowingly talk about body image with Alli. I always reflect to her the fact that I'm happy with who I am.
Dave and I sat down with Alli and explained that mommy just wanted to fit into her jeans; that I am happy with myself and that Alli doesn't need to lose any weight at all. She is just the right size and perfect for our family... no matter what her size, we will love her always.
In her customary wise childlike innocence she smiled and said "Okay." And then she asked for a treat.
Kids.
Trust me, these are soft, smoothly worn down jeans from Lane Bryant, size 26, that I've had for the last 4 years. I LOVE THEM.
I was able to wiggle most of my plumpness into the jeans without a problem. I was even able to pull the zipper up without too much of a struggle.
It's when I tried to breathe that I realized my roll was constricted and I couldn't feel my toes. heh.
That's about the time I yelled to Dave, "Honnnnneeeyyyyyyyy! Damn these jeans..." and I sighed and mumbled something about losing 5 or 10 pounds to fit into my favorite jeans as he arrived in the bedroom and took in my gasping form.
On Sunday, we were just hanging around the house - Dave was working, Alli and I were at the kitchen table going over Valentines for her class list.
Out of the blue, Alli tells me "I need to lose some weight, mommy."
This is a 5 year old child. Barely 34 pounds, and about 3 feet tall. Yeah, I think NOT.
I looked at her and asked, "Pumpkin, who told you that?!"
She responded with a shy, "No one."
I tried a different tact; "Where did you hear that from?"
With great trust and adoration she looked directly into my eyes and said, "You."
Shock stopped me short. It was such a simple thing that I'd said, with no reflection about my body image to myself. I don't EVER knowingly talk about body image with Alli. I always reflect to her the fact that I'm happy with who I am.
Dave and I sat down with Alli and explained that mommy just wanted to fit into her jeans; that I am happy with myself and that Alli doesn't need to lose any weight at all. She is just the right size and perfect for our family... no matter what her size, we will love her always.
In her customary wise childlike innocence she smiled and said "Okay." And then she asked for a treat.
Kids.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Freaks
Imagine this:
You are cuddled up on the couch, with your laptop and your blankie. You've just finished watching a Masterpiece Theatre edition of "Jane Eyre", and are surfing around.
You find an old movie you've seen before and plop down to revisit it.
A 1937 classic, "Freaks" is about a bunch of circus performers, one of them central to the theme - a midget named 'Tiny Hans" who is targeted by a gold digging acrobat named Cleopatra who is beautiful and normal sized. The circus freaks band together to pay back Cleopatra for the harm and hurt she's caused Hans by making her the ugliest thing - she loses half her body, almost all her hair, and has to use her arms to 'walk' around. Nice, eh.
So I'm at the part where Hans the midget is marrying Cleopatra (remember, it's in black and white), and they are sitting around the table with all the circus side show performers - the bendable man, the bearded lady, the fat lady, the midget lady (Hans' ex girlfriend), the fire eater, the swordswallower, and numerous weird looking people who look like pin heads.
This is the part where Dave walks in and says, "WHAT THE F*CK?!"
He looked at me like he'd walked in the wrong door and wanted to slowly back away and try to re-enter, hoping for a different sight to greet him. Totally stunned and very confused.
I giggled. And I did hand him the remote. Eventually.
You are cuddled up on the couch, with your laptop and your blankie. You've just finished watching a Masterpiece Theatre edition of "Jane Eyre", and are surfing around.
You find an old movie you've seen before and plop down to revisit it.
A 1937 classic, "Freaks" is about a bunch of circus performers, one of them central to the theme - a midget named 'Tiny Hans" who is targeted by a gold digging acrobat named Cleopatra who is beautiful and normal sized. The circus freaks band together to pay back Cleopatra for the harm and hurt she's caused Hans by making her the ugliest thing - she loses half her body, almost all her hair, and has to use her arms to 'walk' around. Nice, eh.
So I'm at the part where Hans the midget is marrying Cleopatra (remember, it's in black and white), and they are sitting around the table with all the circus side show performers - the bendable man, the bearded lady, the fat lady, the midget lady (Hans' ex girlfriend), the fire eater, the swordswallower, and numerous weird looking people who look like pin heads.
This is the part where Dave walks in and says, "WHAT THE F*CK?!"
He looked at me like he'd walked in the wrong door and wanted to slowly back away and try to re-enter, hoping for a different sight to greet him. Totally stunned and very confused.
I giggled. And I did hand him the remote. Eventually.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Stargate: Atlantis
Dave got me involved with the Stargate series when we got together. We are nerdy, faithful DVRers, and luckily have friends in Canada that can get us the advanced episodes.
I have seen Episode 17, Season 3 ....entitled "Sunday".
I think this says it all: http://www.savecarsonbeckett.com/
Yup. They did it. They killed off the good doctor.
I have a few problems with this:
1.) In my opinion, he was the only thing that balanced out Rodney McKay's jackholish attitude.
2.) Carson was killed by an EXPLODING TUMOR. Yes, you read that right. Exploding as in, flames and projectiles. Flamage.
They apparently couldn't come up with any better way to kill off one of the nicest, most kindly written characters. STUPIDHEADS. They couldn't even give him a good mission or anything? Seriously, it was like watching the episode of Grey's Anatomy when the bomb squad guy took the bomb and was walking away from Meredith and it exploded, and HE exploded.
Dave is laughing at me right now; of course I cried. I bawled buckets when Denny died on Grey's Anatomy, why should Carson get any less from me as a fan? Pah.
And according to all that I've read, it wasn't the actor who made the choice to leave; it was the higher-ups. Talk about PISSING ME OFF.
Okay. I think I feel better now. I've dropped a few f-bombs on Dave for chuckling at me, and shed a few tears. All I have to say is that the next episode we see better be a F'ing FANTASTIC one.
I have seen Episode 17, Season 3 ....entitled "Sunday".
I think this says it all: http://www.savecarsonbeckett.com/
Yup. They did it. They killed off the good doctor.
I have a few problems with this:
1.) In my opinion, he was the only thing that balanced out Rodney McKay's jackholish attitude.
2.) Carson was killed by an EXPLODING TUMOR. Yes, you read that right. Exploding as in, flames and projectiles. Flamage.
They apparently couldn't come up with any better way to kill off one of the nicest, most kindly written characters. STUPIDHEADS. They couldn't even give him a good mission or anything? Seriously, it was like watching the episode of Grey's Anatomy when the bomb squad guy took the bomb and was walking away from Meredith and it exploded, and HE exploded.
Dave is laughing at me right now; of course I cried. I bawled buckets when Denny died on Grey's Anatomy, why should Carson get any less from me as a fan? Pah.
And according to all that I've read, it wasn't the actor who made the choice to leave; it was the higher-ups. Talk about PISSING ME OFF.
Okay. I think I feel better now. I've dropped a few f-bombs on Dave for chuckling at me, and shed a few tears. All I have to say is that the next episode we see better be a F'ing FANTASTIC one.
Friday, January 26, 2007
I'm a bit crabby
I started my period this morning around 10am - did I mention it was while I was at work? Thank goodness I was expecting it, pad at the ready.
All I really wanted was something cheesy and salty, followed by something drenched in chocolate. Yum.
What I got was a call from the school nurse telling me Alli had diarrhea accidents, and was running a fever. Of course I panicked.
I made it to pick her up and found out it was a major kind of couple accidents with one of them going up her back. Lovely. My poor pumpkin was lying on the bed in the 'sick room', very pale, and so small.
I called her to me and gave her a hug. We picked up her things and went out to the car. She sadly told me she had 'an accident' and looked about to cry. I looked at her and said, "It's okay. Everyone has accidents when they don't feel good." And gave her a hug.
When children are ill, you feel so helpless. The nurse did say that Influenza A was going around...we'll see what develops.
All I can say is that she had a bit more diarrhea, and then was able to produce actual.. .well. . you get it. . .. and her tummy feels better now, even if she still does have a fever of 99.9 to 100.4.
Can I get something cheesy and salty now?
All I really wanted was something cheesy and salty, followed by something drenched in chocolate. Yum.
What I got was a call from the school nurse telling me Alli had diarrhea accidents, and was running a fever. Of course I panicked.
I made it to pick her up and found out it was a major kind of couple accidents with one of them going up her back. Lovely. My poor pumpkin was lying on the bed in the 'sick room', very pale, and so small.
I called her to me and gave her a hug. We picked up her things and went out to the car. She sadly told me she had 'an accident' and looked about to cry. I looked at her and said, "It's okay. Everyone has accidents when they don't feel good." And gave her a hug.
When children are ill, you feel so helpless. The nurse did say that Influenza A was going around...we'll see what develops.
All I can say is that she had a bit more diarrhea, and then was able to produce actual.. .well. . you get it. . .. and her tummy feels better now, even if she still does have a fever of 99.9 to 100.4.
Can I get something cheesy and salty now?
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Potter Puppet Pals
For Fans of Harry Potter and Neil Cicierega
Wizard Angst
Potions Class
"Yule Ball Musical" in Massachusetts
Wizard Angst
Potions Class
"Yule Ball Musical" in Massachusetts
Cookie Sings the Blues
This is my type of cookie - not only cute, and entertaining, but crunchy, too.
Barack Obama Presidential Exploratory Committee Email
Dear Friend,
If nothing else, the last election proved that politics-by-slogan and poll-tested sound bites aren't going to cut it with the American people anymore, and that's why the real test of leadership is not what the President said to Congress last night, but how he works with Congress in the months to come to find real solutions to America's problems.
The good news is that in the halls of Congress and across the nation, there is widespread support from both Democrats and Republicans on how to meet the major challenges facing America.
Most Americans believe that escalation will not bring the war in Iraq to a responsible end, and that's why I've proposed not just a troop cap, but a phased redeployment that will start bringing our troops home.
Most Americans believe that energy independence will come from using more biofuels like ethanol and making cars that actually use less oil, which is why I proposed a bipartisan plan that would raise fuel economy standards for the first time in decades.
Most Americans believe that the biggest domestic challenge facing the country is the high cost of health care, and that's why incremental plans that do nothing to bring down costs or guarantee coverage are simply no longer sufficient. We must pass universal health care for every American.
The American people are looking for something new. They are hungry for a different kind of politics. In the last week, I've been humbled and inspired to see more than 100,000 of you sign up to join our efforts to change the debate in this country, so that we can begin solving our common problems and pursuing our common dreams.
Last night was an evening for rhetoric and promises. But now is the time for action - now is the time to actually get something done. You deserve leadership that's commensurate to the challenges we face in this country, and I look forward to working with all of you to make this happen in the days and months to come.
Sincerely, U.S. Senator Barack Obama
*************
Seriously, a rousing email. The only thing that ruined it at the end for me was the "CONTRIBUTE" button. Oh well. Guess they need to get funds somehow, right?
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Waiting on the Period Fairy
I was fertile around the 12th, 13th, and 14th of January. We were like beautiful, natural animals - rabbits - during that time.
I hate having to wait two weeks to see if anything took root. Which is probably why I would never be a very good gardener. I am far too impatient.
And so now...I wait. Occasionally I feel a twinge of cramping. My breasts would hurt by now if I was prego; I know this from previous experience. Sigh.
And so...I look forward to allowing the crimson to flow in a couple days, cleanse me, and ready me for the joy in trying next month. Whereupon, once again, I will grab Dave and hide in our bedroom for a few days.
Oh hush. You know men like that sort of thing.
I hate having to wait two weeks to see if anything took root. Which is probably why I would never be a very good gardener. I am far too impatient.
And so now...I wait. Occasionally I feel a twinge of cramping. My breasts would hurt by now if I was prego; I know this from previous experience. Sigh.
And so...I look forward to allowing the crimson to flow in a couple days, cleanse me, and ready me for the joy in trying next month. Whereupon, once again, I will grab Dave and hide in our bedroom for a few days.
Oh hush. You know men like that sort of thing.
B Movies
I remember watching my first "B movie" when I was about 15, staying up all night with Joe Bob Brigg's Drive In Theater on TMC (The Movie Channel). It was "Dracula Rising" , starring Christopher Atkins. Yeeeesshh. I still have it on VHS around here somewhere and occasionally pop it in to watch, and remember how it felt to watch the cheesy hero and heroine, the laughable villain, and the gory-ness of it all.
With popcorn, it's a teenager's dream.
My absolute favorite B Movie of all time though, is "Doctor Mordrid" with the famous (well, at least in B movie circles) Jeffrey Combs.
Now, Mr. Combs in my book is AWESOME as an actor (it also doesn't hurt that he was raised in Lompoc, CA - where I was born and spent my pre-teen years heeheehee). Apparently Dave thinks even higher of him than I do though because of his being in movies based on H.P. Lovecraft's books as a main character. He was also a regular returning actor on the "Star Trek" various series from TNG, to DS9, and Enterprise. I simply loved Mr. Combs because of his creepy portrayal of a hero - Dr. Mordrid.
I have to say though, Dave and I were absolutely ECSTATIC when Jeffrey Combs showed up on the Sci-Fi series that airs on USA called "The 4400" as Dr. Kevin Burkhoff. He's such a great character - and we're hopeful to see more of him when the series starts up again this summer.
Dave got me on this kick tonight because he had seen Jeffrey Combs as Edgar Allan Poe in a Masters of Horror production. A site to behold, I hear.
I fondly remember flinching at the blood spurting of the movie "Children of the Night" with Ami Dolenz and Peter DeLuise. heh.
And we can't forget that legendary grouping of Subspecies movies -- like "Subspecies", "Bloodstone: Subspecies II", "Bloodlust: Subspecies III" , etc... I hear they are making a 5th one now. Let the vamps die already, please. *L*
Yes, yes... and we can't forget the "BasketCase" movies. Ahhh.... B Movies. How I miss them.
With popcorn, it's a teenager's dream.
My absolute favorite B Movie of all time though, is "Doctor Mordrid" with the famous (well, at least in B movie circles) Jeffrey Combs.
Now, Mr. Combs in my book is AWESOME as an actor (it also doesn't hurt that he was raised in Lompoc, CA - where I was born and spent my pre-teen years heeheehee). Apparently Dave thinks even higher of him than I do though because of his being in movies based on H.P. Lovecraft's books as a main character. He was also a regular returning actor on the "Star Trek" various series from TNG, to DS9, and Enterprise. I simply loved Mr. Combs because of his creepy portrayal of a hero - Dr. Mordrid.
I have to say though, Dave and I were absolutely ECSTATIC when Jeffrey Combs showed up on the Sci-Fi series that airs on USA called "The 4400" as Dr. Kevin Burkhoff. He's such a great character - and we're hopeful to see more of him when the series starts up again this summer.
Dave got me on this kick tonight because he had seen Jeffrey Combs as Edgar Allan Poe in a Masters of Horror production. A site to behold, I hear.
I fondly remember flinching at the blood spurting of the movie "Children of the Night" with Ami Dolenz and Peter DeLuise. heh.
And we can't forget that legendary grouping of Subspecies movies -- like "Subspecies", "Bloodstone: Subspecies II", "Bloodlust: Subspecies III" , etc... I hear they are making a 5th one now. Let the vamps die already, please. *L*
Yes, yes... and we can't forget the "BasketCase" movies. Ahhh.... B Movies. How I miss them.
Monday, January 22, 2007
What would it take
I asked Dave the other night out of curiousity under what circumstances he would leave me. Kinda like "What would it take to make you want to leave me?"
He looked at me as he cuddled me close and stated, "A persistent vegetative state lasting greater than 20 years."
*G*
He looked at me as he cuddled me close and stated, "A persistent vegetative state lasting greater than 20 years."
*G*
Friday, January 19, 2007
He hid it
I got home tonight and both of the sinks were empty.
Dave had taken out the drainer from the sink, emptied all the dishes, and hid the drainer.
He hid the drainer. So he could have two empty sinks. So that if one was ever dirty, he would still have another sink to fill the Britta in. Because he can be L A Z Y.
You wanna know where he hid it?
Thinking I wouldn't find it, he put it in the cabinet UNDER THE SINK.
ACKKKKKK!!!
Dave had taken out the drainer from the sink, emptied all the dishes, and hid the drainer.
He hid the drainer. So he could have two empty sinks. So that if one was ever dirty, he would still have another sink to fill the Britta in. Because he can be L A Z Y.
You wanna know where he hid it?
Thinking I wouldn't find it, he put it in the cabinet UNDER THE SINK.
ACKKKKKK!!!
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Things Kids Say that Piss You Off
www.cnn.com
It wasn't until I became a parent with a child, and a child that could talk back, did I finally realize the truth of mean, hurtful things your darling little one will say to you.
This could range from "I hate you!" to "I want a new mommy!" or the ever popular "That's not fair!"
Mind you, I don't remember ever saying "I hate you!" to MY mother, but I do remember saying to my step-dad along with "You're not my father!" followed by the "I hate you!".
We're all bratty kids who say these mean things apparently.
It wasn't until I became a parent with a child, and a child that could talk back, did I finally realize the truth of mean, hurtful things your darling little one will say to you.
This could range from "I hate you!" to "I want a new mommy!" or the ever popular "That's not fair!"
Mind you, I don't remember ever saying "I hate you!" to MY mother, but I do remember saying to my step-dad along with "You're not my father!" followed by the "I hate you!".
We're all bratty kids who say these mean things apparently.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Love is
~When he takes a shower because you gently nudge him in the direction of the bathroom
~When he makes a snack and gives you the first bite
~When he puts up with sometimes neurotic worrying
~Him, even though he can't sleep and has code in his head (he's a web developer after all), and he tries to be really still and stay in bed with you while you sleep because he knows you can't sleep without him.
~When he randomly molests you and just grins
~When he's making dinner even before you walk in the door
~When he starts ring shopping because he felt bad due to a miscommunication that led you to think your Christmas pressie was in fact a ring - when it wasn't lol
~When he pays to have Merry Maids come in and clean (this too, could also be laziness - because if they didn't clean, then I'd enlist his help anyways lol) every two weeks so you don't have to
~When he sits and tries to reason with a 5 year old/reads an age appropriate science book to a 5 year old/tucks in your child every night with bear hugs
~When he kisses you goodnight and cuddles you close...and lets you cuddle close even though you make him too warm
Just some of what love is
~When he makes a snack and gives you the first bite
~When he puts up with sometimes neurotic worrying
~Him, even though he can't sleep and has code in his head (he's a web developer after all), and he tries to be really still and stay in bed with you while you sleep because he knows you can't sleep without him.
~When he randomly molests you and just grins
~When he's making dinner even before you walk in the door
~When he starts ring shopping because he felt bad due to a miscommunication that led you to think your Christmas pressie was in fact a ring - when it wasn't lol
~When he pays to have Merry Maids come in and clean (this too, could also be laziness - because if they didn't clean, then I'd enlist his help anyways lol) every two weeks so you don't have to
~When he sits and tries to reason with a 5 year old/reads an age appropriate science book to a 5 year old/tucks in your child every night with bear hugs
~When he kisses you goodnight and cuddles you close...and lets you cuddle close even though you make him too warm
Just some of what love is
Thoughts on Weight Loss
I'm fat. I also happen to have been fat all my life.
Fat is fat is fat.
I have no fear of that word, nor do I shrink from people who whisper and walk by saying "Oh look at that fat chick!" as I have heard that several times in my life. Trust me, at 5 foot 4 inches and 250 pounds, I have plenty of "bodacious curves" as I like to call them.
When I was in high school my senior year and into the first semester of college at U of MN, I lost 50 pounds. Mostly by not eating and working out excessively. I was weighing in at 198 and pleased as punch until it started affecting my health.
A few weeks after I moved to St. Louis I started eating again. In 2 years I put back on my 50 pounds. When I was pregnant with Alli, I put on 20 pounds in water weight, and lost it overnight when they delivered her by emergency c-section. Pre-eclampsia will do that to you.
I decided after Alli was born, to be healthy and happy, no matter what weight it was. The last 6 years I've held steady at 250-260 pounds - weight fluctuation due to the seasons. You know what they say, us big girls are "Heat in the Winter and Shade in the Summer". *L*
I think the funniest thing is that I don't eat much junk; it's really just needing to be more active with excersize. With Dave here, we're eating better - more fruits and veggies, less high fat foods, more soy milk and soy based products, less carbs. It's all good. :)
I say all this because... I have a few friends who are trying to lose weight.
Friend A was over 350 pounds when she had gastric bypass. She has lost 50+ pounds.
Friend B was at 320 pounds when she began to eat better, and excersize. She has lost 40+ pounds to date.
Friend A, I feel, took the easy way out. To my knowledge she didn't try any kind of weight loss programs within the last year, see a dietician, etc. She had the approval of the insurance though. I know in the past she had lost 30 pounds while on a diet, but methinks she was just too lazy to keep up on it.
That may sound harsh, but when I think about Friend B and others like Friend B who are working hard to lose weight and their struggle.... it makes me angry. It takes great strength of character to keep on keepin' on the right track. Not to say I'd think less of Friend B if they ended up having the gastric surgery due to medical necessity - meaning they weren't losing the weight fast enough by eating right and working out due to metabolism reasons, or they were having some other complications and needed to have the surgery. Major props to those like Friend B!
I keep in mind there are two sides to every story. I'm happy that my friends are happy in the end. I can only be encouraging to those I care for.
To each their own. May all be well whatever weight loss path they travel. :)
Fat is fat is fat.
I have no fear of that word, nor do I shrink from people who whisper and walk by saying "Oh look at that fat chick!" as I have heard that several times in my life. Trust me, at 5 foot 4 inches and 250 pounds, I have plenty of "bodacious curves" as I like to call them.
When I was in high school my senior year and into the first semester of college at U of MN, I lost 50 pounds. Mostly by not eating and working out excessively. I was weighing in at 198 and pleased as punch until it started affecting my health.
A few weeks after I moved to St. Louis I started eating again. In 2 years I put back on my 50 pounds. When I was pregnant with Alli, I put on 20 pounds in water weight, and lost it overnight when they delivered her by emergency c-section. Pre-eclampsia will do that to you.
I decided after Alli was born, to be healthy and happy, no matter what weight it was. The last 6 years I've held steady at 250-260 pounds - weight fluctuation due to the seasons. You know what they say, us big girls are "Heat in the Winter and Shade in the Summer". *L*
I think the funniest thing is that I don't eat much junk; it's really just needing to be more active with excersize. With Dave here, we're eating better - more fruits and veggies, less high fat foods, more soy milk and soy based products, less carbs. It's all good. :)
I say all this because... I have a few friends who are trying to lose weight.
Friend A was over 350 pounds when she had gastric bypass. She has lost 50+ pounds.
Friend B was at 320 pounds when she began to eat better, and excersize. She has lost 40+ pounds to date.
Friend A, I feel, took the easy way out. To my knowledge she didn't try any kind of weight loss programs within the last year, see a dietician, etc. She had the approval of the insurance though. I know in the past she had lost 30 pounds while on a diet, but methinks she was just too lazy to keep up on it.
That may sound harsh, but when I think about Friend B and others like Friend B who are working hard to lose weight and their struggle.... it makes me angry. It takes great strength of character to keep on keepin' on the right track. Not to say I'd think less of Friend B if they ended up having the gastric surgery due to medical necessity - meaning they weren't losing the weight fast enough by eating right and working out due to metabolism reasons, or they were having some other complications and needed to have the surgery. Major props to those like Friend B!
I keep in mind there are two sides to every story. I'm happy that my friends are happy in the end. I can only be encouraging to those I care for.
To each their own. May all be well whatever weight loss path they travel. :)
I'm hiding
I saw the baskets of laundry tonight. Oy.
It hit me that if Alli and I are going up north to visit our friends this weekend, I would have to do laundry.
Maybe... we'll wait. If I move them to the walk-in closet, maybe they'll magically disappear.
Sure. And wee fairies clean the house whilst we sleep.
It hit me that if Alli and I are going up north to visit our friends this weekend, I would have to do laundry.
Maybe... we'll wait. If I move them to the walk-in closet, maybe they'll magically disappear.
Sure. And wee fairies clean the house whilst we sleep.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Is it really so hard?
Once upon a time, there was a woman who came home from work. Her mate and their daughter were happy to see her. It gave the woman a squishy warm feeling in her heart.
Then, as she hugged her daughter close, smelling her sweet shampoo scented hair, she remembered that the dishwasher needed to be emptied...unless her mate had performed this onerous task.
The woman headed into the kitchen and reviewed the sight before her: With a double sink, there were dirty cereal bowls on one side, and an empty sink on the other side - which used to have a drainer with a few clean dishes in it - said drainer was sitting on the counter, still with clean dishes in it.
The woman asked her mate why the drainer was out of the sink. Her mate replied he couldn't fill up the Britta water purifier without taking up a whole sink.
The woman looked at her mate. And she sighed. She began to unload the dishwasher of the clean dishes, then put the dirty cereal bowls into the empty dishwasher, and thus, moved the drainer back into it's rightful sink. Leaving one whole sink empty.
The woman looked at her mate again as he had begun to ready some of dinner, and she made a mock screech, and put her hand to her forehead, then her hands on either side of her face in an over-dramatic fashion and said, "Oh my GOD, that was just SO HARD! What a HORROR!"
Her mate slowly backed away, a frightened look in his eyes, and said, "Umm...I'm going to my office."
Really, is it so terribly hard?
Then, as she hugged her daughter close, smelling her sweet shampoo scented hair, she remembered that the dishwasher needed to be emptied...unless her mate had performed this onerous task.
The woman headed into the kitchen and reviewed the sight before her: With a double sink, there were dirty cereal bowls on one side, and an empty sink on the other side - which used to have a drainer with a few clean dishes in it - said drainer was sitting on the counter, still with clean dishes in it.
The woman asked her mate why the drainer was out of the sink. Her mate replied he couldn't fill up the Britta water purifier without taking up a whole sink.
The woman looked at her mate. And she sighed. She began to unload the dishwasher of the clean dishes, then put the dirty cereal bowls into the empty dishwasher, and thus, moved the drainer back into it's rightful sink. Leaving one whole sink empty.
The woman looked at her mate again as he had begun to ready some of dinner, and she made a mock screech, and put her hand to her forehead, then her hands on either side of her face in an over-dramatic fashion and said, "Oh my GOD, that was just SO HARD! What a HORROR!"
Her mate slowly backed away, a frightened look in his eyes, and said, "Umm...I'm going to my office."
Really, is it so terribly hard?
Baby Names
I have a confession to make. I was watching a show this weekend on BBC America called "Hex" and I found a name that I think is AWESOME. It's even an "A" name to go along with the people in our family - Anna, Andrea, Alex, Alli and yours truly....
Azazeal. Or Azazel.
The only part I'm kinda ashamed to admit is that apparently, in the Bible, Azazel is listed as a demon and sometimes referred to in different religions as though he was Satan.
Dammit. I'd hate to saddle a kid with a demonic name. But it's so COOL. And we could even call him Aza (pronounced Asah) for short. That is, if we were having a boy.
I know, I know... I'm not even prego yet to my knowledge, so there's still time. Maybe I'll have some good news in a few weeks. *sly grin*
Azazeal. Or Azazel.
The only part I'm kinda ashamed to admit is that apparently, in the Bible, Azazel is listed as a demon and sometimes referred to in different religions as though he was Satan.
Dammit. I'd hate to saddle a kid with a demonic name. But it's so COOL. And we could even call him Aza (pronounced Asah) for short. That is, if we were having a boy.
I know, I know... I'm not even prego yet to my knowledge, so there's still time. Maybe I'll have some good news in a few weeks. *sly grin*
Friday, January 12, 2007
Grey's
I am a faithful viewer of Grey's Anatomy. I couldn't tell you why, just that it sucked me in at a moment's weakness during the second season. Luckily my best friend Kathleen had already bought the first season on DVD so I was quickly caught up.
My best friend at home is the DVR. Gods, I love it. That is the reason why I can remain caught up with Grey's Anatomy, Veronica Mars, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, Good Eats with Alton Brown, etc... you get the point. I just point, click, select 'record all first run episodes' at that time for the show I want... and Viola! I can plop my okole on the couch anytime to watch the show because it's saved right on the DVR.
Last night Dave made me give up my blogging to watch the new episode of Grey's Anatomy. Yeah, yeah, yeah...sure I was greatful because I'm caught up, but heck, that's what I pay $7.95 extra a month for - to watch them on MY time. :p
My best friend at home is the DVR. Gods, I love it. That is the reason why I can remain caught up with Grey's Anatomy, Veronica Mars, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, Good Eats with Alton Brown, etc... you get the point. I just point, click, select 'record all first run episodes' at that time for the show I want... and Viola! I can plop my okole on the couch anytime to watch the show because it's saved right on the DVR.
Last night Dave made me give up my blogging to watch the new episode of Grey's Anatomy. Yeah, yeah, yeah...sure I was greatful because I'm caught up, but heck, that's what I pay $7.95 extra a month for - to watch them on MY time. :p
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
The Minivan
When I began driving, my first vehicle was a one owner, '88 Ford Ranger, XLT, with an extended cab, and shortbed, with the roll bars welded into the wheel wells, and the off-road lights.
Before my daughter was born, I realized that the jump seats in the back did not fit a child's car seat. Honestly, I had to think long and hard. I had such a love for my little red truck that was known all over town. But my infant's safety won out.
My second vehicle was what my older sister termed at the time 'The Grocery Getter" - a 1996 Ford Escort Wagon in green. Lovely. The first 4 door vehicle I had ever driven. Plenty of room for child, and all the accoutrement ( ie: crap) that one would expect to find hidden away in a hallway closet.
The head gasket blew the week after my sister passed away, peeing green, sickly sweet smelling coolant all over the student parking lot. One of the teachers drove by as I pulled into a parking spot and coolant spewed forth under the wagon; pulling up along side me he said straight faced, "You have a slight leak there, ya know?"
My third vehicle was a 1997 Ford Blazer, white, 4 door with 4x4 auto. "Suuuuhhhhhwweeett!!" was the word that came to mind when my parents told me they would purchase it for me. A major thing for them to even offer or realize my financial dire straights at the time, going to college full time and being a single parent who just lost her roommate and good friend as well as sister.
I had the Blazer until December 2006. I couldn't take it anymore, and I wasn't going to ask Dave to pay in on any more repairs. More than $4000 clams were sucked up in the two years I had the Blazer, much as I loved it.
My fourth vehicle... as a mom of one, looking to be a mom of two...happened to be something I could afford once my trade in totals calculated to be over half the asking price. I can't tell you how good it feels to qualify for a car loan all by myself.
My minivan. Ahh. Made in the year 2003, this Ford Windstar had less than 43,xxx miles on it upon purchase and only one owner. This, to date, is the newest vehicle I've ever had.
The purchase of such a vehicle though means that I am getting older. It means I've given up my high ideals of "SUV FOREVER!"; as I once swore, slightly inebriated, telling others I would never, EVER become a 'minivan mom'. The fear alone of turning into a carbon copy 'soccer mom' who drives a minivan was enough to cause a panic attack at one time.
It's really not that scary...especially when you have a really cool pentagram decal on it. heh.
Yes, I'm working on the last part.
Before my daughter was born, I realized that the jump seats in the back did not fit a child's car seat. Honestly, I had to think long and hard. I had such a love for my little red truck that was known all over town. But my infant's safety won out.
My second vehicle was what my older sister termed at the time 'The Grocery Getter" - a 1996 Ford Escort Wagon in green. Lovely. The first 4 door vehicle I had ever driven. Plenty of room for child, and all the accoutrement ( ie: crap) that one would expect to find hidden away in a hallway closet.
The head gasket blew the week after my sister passed away, peeing green, sickly sweet smelling coolant all over the student parking lot. One of the teachers drove by as I pulled into a parking spot and coolant spewed forth under the wagon; pulling up along side me he said straight faced, "You have a slight leak there, ya know?"
My third vehicle was a 1997 Ford Blazer, white, 4 door with 4x4 auto. "Suuuuhhhhhwweeett!!" was the word that came to mind when my parents told me they would purchase it for me. A major thing for them to even offer or realize my financial dire straights at the time, going to college full time and being a single parent who just lost her roommate and good friend as well as sister.
I had the Blazer until December 2006. I couldn't take it anymore, and I wasn't going to ask Dave to pay in on any more repairs. More than $4000 clams were sucked up in the two years I had the Blazer, much as I loved it.
My fourth vehicle... as a mom of one, looking to be a mom of two...happened to be something I could afford once my trade in totals calculated to be over half the asking price. I can't tell you how good it feels to qualify for a car loan all by myself.
My minivan. Ahh. Made in the year 2003, this Ford Windstar had less than 43,xxx miles on it upon purchase and only one owner. This, to date, is the newest vehicle I've ever had.
The purchase of such a vehicle though means that I am getting older. It means I've given up my high ideals of "SUV FOREVER!"; as I once swore, slightly inebriated, telling others I would never, EVER become a 'minivan mom'. The fear alone of turning into a carbon copy 'soccer mom' who drives a minivan was enough to cause a panic attack at one time.
It's really not that scary...especially when you have a really cool pentagram decal on it. heh.
Yes, I'm working on the last part.
An Introduction...
Welcome!
Here, have a seat... better yet, let me give you mine while I get you a cuppa.
Please keep your feet off the coffee table and all will be well. At least here. The same can't be said about the rest of the world, eh.
Me? I grew up in California, moved to Minnesota in the early 90's with the family. I've lived briefly on Oahu, HI (a couple months with family), and in St. Louis, MO when I left college to marry young.
Oh yes? Stupid you say? I hear you. The best thing out of my former 2 year long marriage is my daughter, to be 6 this Spring. Pride and joy. Sorry to puff out the chest there. Wouldn't want someone to lose an eye.
Sugar in your tea? Sure.
What am I doing now? I moved back to Minnesota, and with the love and help of my significant other, we are pursuing the American dream - suburban life, full time jobs, educational challenges... and yes... the minivan.
You're welcome to stop by later to hear more. Right now, I think that's enough to digest.
Here, have a seat... better yet, let me give you mine while I get you a cuppa.
Please keep your feet off the coffee table and all will be well. At least here. The same can't be said about the rest of the world, eh.
Me? I grew up in California, moved to Minnesota in the early 90's with the family. I've lived briefly on Oahu, HI (a couple months with family), and in St. Louis, MO when I left college to marry young.
Oh yes? Stupid you say? I hear you. The best thing out of my former 2 year long marriage is my daughter, to be 6 this Spring. Pride and joy. Sorry to puff out the chest there. Wouldn't want someone to lose an eye.
Sugar in your tea? Sure.
What am I doing now? I moved back to Minnesota, and with the love and help of my significant other, we are pursuing the American dream - suburban life, full time jobs, educational challenges... and yes... the minivan.
You're welcome to stop by later to hear more. Right now, I think that's enough to digest.
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