"The Doctor isn't worried about you at all!"

Oy.

Tuesday night I ran by the ER just to say Hi to all my admirers there at Fairview Southdale. I came ready - pre-packed undies, enough romance novels to read for 10 hours, appropriate Cottonelle clean wipes, and socks...in my Dumbledore's Army bag, no less.

Seriously, I've had a funky feeling in my leg since last Tuesday. And after a day of moving around on it, my left leg began to hurt in the calf. Oh yes, you guessed it dear reader, it's another clot. Yay me!

I spent 3 and 1/2 hours in the ER for them to tell me:
a.) It's a clot
And then called the MOHPA doc on call, Dr. Sang to decide if they wanted to admit me or not. They decided not to, and to have me call my regular Hematologist's office in the morning.
So they:
b.) Sent me home.

Now, the bonuses are that I got to sleep in my own bed and snuggle with my man. The negatives were trying to reconcile the ER docs telling me it's 'a minor clot'. WTF? Whoever heard of a MINOR CLOT???

I played phone tag all day Wednesday as a sat in bed, watching movies with Alli and reading, and generally entertaining us both with this HUGE pack of dry-erase EXPO markers I got - more on that later. Anyways... when it all came down to it, Doc Weinshel's nurse Brianna told me that I can resume all normal activity... they are keeping me on the Lovenox, it's probably a chronic clot that I just happened to notice (sure) and I can go back to work on Thursday without issues, and he's not all that concerned about the clot as it's nonocclusive (which is a fancy word for "not blocking anything") and fairly minor. Brianna kept telling me to wiggle my ankles alot though... Hmm. But yeah...

So this is where it is:

I'm still on Lovenox.
They are not putting me back on Coumadin anytime soon.
We can still try to get pregnant.

But THEN... I've been reading some scary shite the last couple days about the rate of maternal deaths. Most of them are related to c-sections and clotting. Well, DUH that's exactly the two situations I didn't want to see.

But then if you read the article completely, it brings up the fact that most of these women are black, in their late 30's and early 40's, and are unable to have the babies vaginally, and are obese.

I look at myself and think, Hmm...I'm 28, obese, but I would be a planned c-section, and I already take a whole bunch of anticoagulant drugs to keep me where I need to be as far as NOT clotting....oh yeah, and I'm a white chick with no other health problems to speak of...so far.

So in one way, I'm a bit concerned, but in another, I'm not. I would already be labeled a high-risk mother and should already therefore be receiving the best and most specialized care they can offer me.

But then I think about the Perinatologist, Dr. Ney, that I'd spoken to and seen for my D&C. She was so totally on board for me getting pregnant last I saw her. And if Dr. Weinshel is good to go, then I don't see why we shouldn't proceed as planned. I have faith in my doctors, but I'm certainly not ignorant after spending years around them.

Only the God and Goddess can guide us now. Blessings Be to all the harried and adored mothers in the world tonight. :)

In Memory

Grandma Linda, Grandpa Gary, and Alli (about a year and a half ago)

Man Dies In Boating Accident Near Lake Sturgeon

(WCCO) A man is dead after a fatal boating accident on
Island Lake near Sturgeon Lake, Minn. Wednesday.

The accident happened around 4:30 p.m.Gerhardt Pfeifer, 64, of
Sandstone, Minn. was attempting to get water out of a boat by pulling the plug
and driving rapidly around the lake.

Witnesses said Pfeifer was driving around in circles very fast,
hit a wave and was thrown into the water.

One witness got into a pontoon and went out to try to save
Pfeifer, but was unable to bring him up on the boat by himself. He held Pfeifer
above water until help arrived.Once on the pontoon, CPR was performed and
Pfeifer was brought to shore where an ambulance was waiting.

He was immediately transported to Mercy Hospital in Moose Lake
where he was pronounced dead.Pfeifer was not wearing a life jacket at the time
of the accident.

What they didn't tell you is that he was my best friend's dad and she and Charlie and his wife saw the whole thing happen. And that it was Charlie & Kathleen's boat that he flipped accidentally, causing him to fall out and drown. Because, despite his 20 some years in the military as a medic and then later as a Physicians Assistant, and later, his service at the Federal Correctional Institution and Duluth Camp, he didn't know how to swim.

If you know me, I've told you what happened. I've told you how I had the dubious honor of driving Linda, Kathleen, and her grandmother Margie in the very van that Gary had helped me pick out 5-6 months ago....never knowing that I would one day be driving behind the hearse that carried his body.

At one point, Kathleen asked how fast I was going. The hearse kept slowing down and speeding up as it followed the firetruck escorting us. Kathleen laughed and said it was just as Dad drove; he would never set the cruise.

I laughed and said "I don't know about you guys, but I think it'd be kinda rude to pass a hearse..." and Kathleen chimed in with "....and flip him off as you go!" So for a moment of time, giggles filled the van from all of us. And then we remembered why we were there.

Gary was what I imagined my dad would be if he was still around. He was a good man, a wonderful dad, and a fantastic grandfather. He and Linda always treated Alli and I as one of their own - and they still have. It was a long and harrowing weekend.

When Kathleen called she was hysterical and Dave couldn't get a word out. I called her from where I was, and then she passed the phone to Charlie who asked, "How soon can you get here?"

We drove up to Sandstone on Wednesday night and clustered with the other gathered peoples - family and some friends. Thursday was a blur. Friday was the wake, with the funeral on Saturday.

Alli cried. She wasn't scared by Gary's body in the casket. She was sad. She knew he'd never be around to play horsey with her and Dillon again, not tease her again about bugs, or be around to fix her bike tires and watch her play in the playhouse. No more Grandpa Gary.

Maybe I'll talk about this more later. Maybe I won't. I was there and present for the family all weekend. I think now is my time to finish grieving in private.