Life as a Suburban Goddess

Um.. Hi?

2010-07-16T13:53:00.006-04:00

I'm alive! I made it through the c-section - which turned out to be on May 8th, 2009 (waiting for my platelet count to come up).

Aishlinn Deirdre at 6 lbs, 2 ounces, made her appearance at 9:53am into the world. Meanwhile, I was knocked unconscious because of my low platelet count and other factors.

I woke up and life was grand. Not. The nicest thing Dr. Wagner did for me was he cut vertically along the same scar I had from Allison, 8 years prior. The stitches were great, too. I was able to drive within 4 days. (tee hee hee) The doctors and nurses will usually tell you to wait 2 weeks after your c-section to drive. Trust me - with the vertical cut it's PAINLESS to push your foot down to accelerate while driving.

Again I say, my doctors rock.

So... gave birth, yadda yadda, beautiful and healthy baby girl, go home after 4 days (yippee!), three weeks later we move from Mtka to Roseville. Six days after we move into the house we are renting I wake up with chest pains.

It's 4am on June 11, 2009. I'm having chest pains and it feels like my heart is squeezing itself. I start breathing shallowly. Indigestion? REALLY BAD indigestion? I take some Tums thinking that'll help. I wait 10 minutes. The pain is still there - no better, no worse. I wake up Dave and tell him to call 911.

Now get this picture: I'm 31 years old. Just had a baby a few weeks ago. We are new to the area. I'm not scared though - if anything I'm thinking I'm having awful gastritis, or a gall bladder attack.

The ambulance comes. There's no question - Dave is freaking out right now. Alli is watching her sister sleep in the front room as I am driven off by the nice Allina EMTs. They put an IV in, both females think I am having a gall bladder attack potentially - all because of my age. One of the EMTs gives me a couple of Nitroglycerine tabs - one at a time of course - to cover all bets.

I get to United Hospital and they take a bunch of blood. Do labs and an Echo and an EKG. I get two more Nitro tabs from a nurse, one at a time, rating my pain scale in between as before. At about 4:30 an ER doctor comes in and says that my Troponin level was elevated and they think I had a myocardial infarction. MI. HEART ATTACK.

The first words in my mind were: "WHAT THE FRACK?" What I said aloud was, "Umm... ok? What do we do now?"

In the next 24 hours my best friend came with her toddler daughter to stay with Dave, Alli, and the baby. I ended up going in for an Angiogram. My parents drove down and saw me right before I went in for the diagnostic. Perhaps it was the fact that my IV had sprung a leak (infiltration into the tissue) inside the vein and I wasn't getting enough of the pain meds... or the fact that there was a machine above my head that looked like a giant upside down toilet... whatever it was, the Angiogram was not my favorite thing about the stay.

A couple days later I was out of the hospital, a heart attack survivor. 2% damage that was said to be totally reversible. Heart attack caused by a random clot. Even though I was on Lovenox.

But hey, I'm here. With all new meds and a brand new attitude. How d'ya like me now?

Rounding Home Plate

2009-05-05T11:14:00.003-04:00

We're almost there!

Thursday, May 7th, around 11:30am my c-section is scheduled at Abbott NorthWestern Hospital.

My amniotic fluid has been up and down again. I had an office visit last week where I was having contractions every 6-8 minutes. Yep, I was excited! I thought for sure that it wouldn't be too much longer before I drove to the hospital in labor. Yeah, right. So much for another "April baby" like Alli and myself were - as well as my best friend Kathleen and her daughter Evie.

I swore that towards the end of pregnancy I wouldn't bitch and moan like every woman seems wont to do. But I have to say a few words:

I am tired. My back hurts. My belly muscles ache. I'm tired of heartburn. I'm peeing every 15 minutes.

I'm just ready to meet my other daughter and get my body back. I'm sure Dave feels the same way but for an entirely different reason. He was ready for the hormone levels in the house to return to normal about 6 months ago.

Still, we have come a long way and are very excited. I just pray to the Gods that everything goes better than we expected and I am not completely laid up for the following 6 weeks. It's been 8 years since I had Allison, and I don't remember much about the c-section but that it burned when I peed after they took out the catheter. lol

Anyways, we have plans to take the laptop with us to the hospital to make sure we can upload photos and email updates to everyone. Thanks so much for your blessings and well wishes!

Speaking To Soon

2009-04-22T10:43:00.004-04:00

I went to my normal Tuesday doc appointment yesterday.

My amniotic fluid had decreased to 5.8, from the 7.X that it's been holding steady at for the last couple visits. My wonderful nurse advised me that anything at 5 and under, since I was 37 weeks, was an indication of an earlier c-section than May 7th that they planned for. Since I'm thankfully so far along, they just wouldn't want to mess around with trying to wait longer and me and the Melon getting into a distress situation.

I spoke with Dr. Wothe after the non-stress test, and luckily the Melon was doing great with a steady heartbeat - no signs of distress. The only thing he did caution me about is if decreased movement - less than 10 movements in 2 hours - to come right in after calling the MAC (Maternal Assessment Center).

She's been kinda lazy with her movements the last day or two, and it was explained to me that as long as she is still moving normally, even if her movements aren't as vigorous, it's due to the decrease in room because of the lower fluid level. So, me, being the paranoid person that I am, will be doing kick counts today every few hours just to make myself feel better.

I've also decided to drink strictly water until my Friday appointment instead of counting any Juicey Juice or milk as fluid. My own experiment to see if that makes a difference in the fluid levels.

Also, we started the Heparin injections last night.
Wow, it makes me miss the Lovenox. Dosing myself 1.3 ccs every 12 hours (6am and 6pm), out of these itty bitty teeny tiny vials of 20,000 units per 1 ml....it's annoying because I have to use two of them each time I dose. And DUDE, you should SEE the length of the needle on the 3 cc tuberculine syringes they gave me. Crap on a stick are they ever long! It's seriously like a 2 and a half inch long needle for the 3 cc syringes.

It just amazes me when I think of how little I personally have gone through... knowing that it may be a lot of medical issues - Factor X/Lupus Anticoagulant, constant blood thinner injections, lab draws, doctor visits - for me, but that there are other women out there who have gone through so much more in order to carry their babies to term. That's what keeps me going.

We're close now. Whether they tell me this Friday we're rescheduling for a sooner c-section, or we can safely wait until May 7th...we are definitely looking forward to our new addition.

Overwhelmed much?

2009-04-20T14:31:00.002-04:00

No further updates on my Tuesday and Friday doc appointments due to the fact that things haven't changed all that much. My amniotic fluid level has swung from 10 to 7, and is holding steady at 7, with bed rest still prescribed.

Some news as of last Friday's appointment: MN Perinatal has tentatively scheduled my c-section for May 7th at 11:30am. I say 'tentatively' because it could be May 8th - dependent on my labs.

They are switching me from Lovenox injections to Heparin injections. I had to jump through a few hoops to get that all squared away - including a PA (prior authorization) that we had not anticipated. The PA was approved, but Walgreens doesn't carry the necessary dosage that I needed. They'll have it in tomorrow afternoon they said - so I'll start it beginning Wednesday, and have a lab draw on Thursday to see if they need to adjust dose.

Again, being switched from Lovenox to Heparin is due to the fact that Heparin has a shorter life in the body than Lovenox does. It ought to be fun... I have to draw up my own Heparin and inject as normal. Lovenox apparently, is the lazy persons' blood thinner injectable. lol Yes, I find it humorous. :)

So.... we've started making lists and checking them several times. Not like we need to bring much to the hospital, but with my memory the way it is right now, always best to rely on the written word.

Also... we've started going through stuff. I keep offering things to friends and asking them to come over and figure out if there's something they could possibly NEED. We have less than 3 weeks before the Melon makes her appearance, and less than 8 weeks before we move to our single family home in Roseville.

And please don't take this as bitching, but even though I've gained about 14 pounds total the entire pregnancy so far (which is good and fine and dandy) I feel like I've gained about 40 pounds and everything is stretched out and uncomfortable and ... and ... while I feel blessed to have made it happy and healthy to this far point of nearly 37 weeks with this baby, it's just really hard to get comfortable. Daytime naps are becoming more common.

In fact, time for one now.

DIY Breast Pump?

2009-03-23T13:36:00.002-04:00

So Dave and I were lying in bed Friday around 11:30 at night and we started talking about some of my fears of breast-pumping/feeding and how, while I would love to just breast feed, it's always good to have a milk supply in the freezer instead of having to use formula like I had to with Alli.

Then, we got around for some reason to talking about the FoodSaver vacuum sealer that we have. And Dave started talking about how we should work on retro-fitting it to make the motor into a working breast pump.

WHA??????????????

I think the first words out of my mouth were "Uhhh NO. Let's stick your manhood in the vacuum and see how you like it. I don't need my nipples ripped off!"

We'll be buying my breast pump, thank you very much.

MN Perinatal - Friday Appointment

2009-03-20T17:33:00.003-04:00

The ladies in the Edina office are WONDERFUL. Let me just say that. And have I told you how I love, love, LOVE the doctors there?

Anyways, I went in for my 2pm appointment today. We did the BPP and non-stress test. "The Cabbage" as Dave calls her, did great. My amniotic fluid is a bit lower, but steady, and not alarming to the staff. So we are essentially still in a holding pattern.

Dr. Ney - who I admit, is of my favorites next to Dr. Gazianno - was even telling me that if I wanted to, I could set up appointments into May as I already have April appointments scheduled. All I could think of was "Ummm sure." While in my head I'm screaming out "OH GODS PLEASE LET ME HAVE THE BABY BEFORE THEN!!!!!!!"

Let's face it: For those of you who truly know me, you know I'm not a patient person. I completely LACK patience. Christmas is not one of my better times of the year, nor my birthday.

I am not the typical pregnant woman. I don't just assume that everything has been great up to this point and we will end up with a happy healthy baby and I should just run out and buy the rest of the baby's things. No.

I am the type of woman who's been pregnant before... and lost. Being this far into the 3rd trimester makes me feel EXTREMELY blessed, and NERVOUS. I just feel like the sooner I deliver, the sooner our baby will be safe from my body. The sooner we can hold her and count her fingers and toes... see if she has hair... attempt pumping and breastfeeding. Again.

When the OB visit was nearly over I asked Dr. Ney a question that I've been forgetting to: Can I/Will I be able to pump and/or attempt to breastfeed while I'm on blood thinners? This question has no definitive answers online - in fact, there's much that's misunderstood about anti-coagulants.

Dr. Ney looked me right in the eye and said "Yes. Your body is ready this time; you aren't sick. You are healthy, and healed." She went on to give me greater confidence by telling me that the dosage of blood thinner I am on is considered "prophylactic" - meaning a preventive dosage.

On one hand, I thought I would never want to give the whole breastfeeding and pumping thing a try, but on the other hand, I never had the chance to breastfeed Alli because my milk ran out before she came home. It made me feel like a failure to some extent. However, years later, I am an older, wiser mom. I know that if I give it my all, I'll be fine. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. I'm not going to beat myself up over it. Or let someone else make me feel guilty because they think that I didn't try hard enough.

We are moving along though with the accumulation of baby things. I'm thinking about ordering some things from Amazon in a week or so. Don't want to crowd the house up too much now, do I.

Surprise!

2009-03-19T12:11:00.003-04:00

One thing that Dave and I kept under close wraps until just recently really is the fact that I'm 32 weeks pregnant today. Yes, this means that I was finishing up my first trimester when we were getting married in November. :)

Because of previous disappointments/losses and not wanting to get our hopes up, we decided to tell only a few select people who were encouraging and happy for us, but also cautious.

I have a previous history of pre-eclampsia with my daughter Alli. She was delivered at 27 weeks by emergency c-section, weighing in at 1 pound, 11 1/2 ounces. Yes, I know I've probably related this information before, but it bears repeating to bring you up to date on the current pregnancy.

So from day 1 that I was aware I was pregnant this time, I have been seen by Perinatologists through MN Perinatal Physicians. I have been lucky enough this time to not have any major issues - no signs or symptoms of pre-eclampsia, no gestational diabetes, etc.

My luck has held.... until last Thursday (3/12/09). I went in expecting a regular OB check and Bio Physical Profile and came out with a letter from my Perinatologist putting me on bedrest.

Good grief.

Apparently after my second BPP, they noticed that I had the same low levels of amniotic fluid when they did the amniotic fluid index sampling. They find this concerning - as I do - enough to put me on bedrest indefinitely.

Then, after being told I'm on bedrest, we still needed to meet the next day (Friday 3/13/09) with the anesthesiologist at Abbott Northwestern, where my MN Perinatal Physicians are going to be delivering me by c-section.

And so, Dave came with me to meet with Dr. Abbott for the consult at the hospital. Two things became immediately clear:
1.) I could be knocked out for the birth - again - like I was with Alli.
2.) Or, I could be awake for the birth - which scared me more.

(Back story: Because of my blood disorder that causes clots (Lupus Anticoagulant), I have been on Lovenox blood thinner since the day I found out I was pregnant, as well as 1 81mg tablet of Aspirin daily, per my perinatologists. This has been monitored closely to make sure that there are no clots that present, as they could potentially cut off blood flow to the placenta and kill the fetus.
We've been blessed this pregnancy in that my Hematologist and Perinatologists do communicate quite well most of the time.)

So anyways...Dr. Abbott was saying that if I need to be delivered prior to 36 weeks, I will likely be under general anesthesia with a breathing tube and all that fun stuff that I had with Alli. Honestly, I'm not worried if that happens - Been there, done that.

If, however, we can make it past 36 weeks with everything working out well, then the docs will switch me over from Lovenox (which has a 12 hour life span) to actual Heparin (which has a life span of 6 hours or less) so that if they need to do some quick work and get the baby delivered they don't have to worry too much about excessive blood loss. Always a nice thing.

As of right now, things are progressing. I'm eating and sleeping. Dave is calling the baby "the cabbage" because that's the size it was compared to on my babycenter.com weekly email update. Alli is VERY excited about being a big sister to a little sister.

Oh, didn't I tell you it's another girl? :)

O. M. G.

2009-03-19T11:31:00.003-04:00

Dave and I got married November 1st, 2008.

Yes, it was beautiful - the tent was tremendously gorgeous. Our guests were fantastic - some of them even helping out prior to the ceremony.

We did start late - people kept coming upstairs to see ME of all people, who was trying to finish getting dressed - and people in the house kept TELLING the guests where I was getting ready, and they kept coming upstairs to visit! lol

The food, provided by my friend Josh and his lovely and patient wife Kim, was AWESOME!

Our menu:

Fruit Board :
Pears, Plums, Grapes, Apricots, Apples, Pineapple

Cheese & Nut Board:
Swiss, Pub cheese, Caramelized Onion, Truffle, Dubliner, Tomato Basil Gouda, Herb Gouda
Walnut, Almond, Pecans, Figs, Dates

Salad:
Apple & Pear Waldorf on Baby Greens

Soup 1:
Lentil (Vegetarian)

Soup 2:
Pumpkin

Entrees:
Roast Buffalo
Turkey
Smoked Turkey Legs

Vegetables:
Cinnamon Roasted Sweet Potatoes
Wild Rice & Mushroom sautee with Vidalia Onions
Roasted Butternut Squash
Roasted Brussels Sprouts

Gravies:

Turkey

Dark Beef

Roquefort dressing

Bread:
Petite Baguettes, White Buns (made by Linda), Dark Rye Buns, Wild Rice Buns.

Oy. It was a lot of work for Josh and Kim, and my parents who helped out by letting them use their commercial kitchen for food prep because it was much closer than anything else in the area.

April, Dave, and Allison

I was abducted by aliens!

2008-08-30T16:20:00.010-04:00

Just kidding.

I think we all know and realize that time flies when you are having fun...and sometimes not so much fun.

For the past two months, Dave's been getting used to the new schedule - up at 4am, out the door by 5 am to ride the bus to St. Paul for nearly 2 hours. Work for 8.5 hours respectively, and wash, rinse, repeat in the opposite bus order to get home.

I am still getting up with him at 4am.

We are both exhausted.

However, wedding planning still moves forwards. We've had a couple adventures and a few moments since June:

We went to WineHaven (Chisago City, MN) & Eichtens (Center City, MN) and enjoyed a day of food and wine tasting. Eichtens raises their own buffaloes and cows and make their own FABULOUS Gouda cheeses and buffalo summer sausages amongst their delicious bistro/cafe and shop area. WineHaven happened to have a wine tasting the same day we headed out to Eichtens.... and so we tried a few varieties. We've already decided to get the Honey Wine and the Merlot from there for the wedding.
Dave, Alli, and myself headed out to Howard Lake, MN for the 3rd Annual Garlic Festival; put on by the MN Sustainable Farming Association. They did a wonderful job and we enjoyed things ranging from
demos from Minneapolis area chefs that work with the understanding of sustainability,
belly dancers (not what I'd have thought - a few white chicks doing some pop music moves, more power to 'em - I've seen REAL traditional belly dancing though...),
kids games & art, garlic ice cream (YUM), fresh raw gourmet garlic (It BURNED!)

Then... we hit the MN State Fair this last weekend. On Sunday early morning, we headed out on the Southwest Transit to the fairgrounds. It was a long day full of sunburn, good food (elk burger, porcupine meatballs, beef sticks, funnel cake, cheese curds, strawberry smoothy), and needing more water than I got which resulted in my crabbiness for about an hour. Yes, poor Dave. lol

We saw most of a wood chopping competition, walked around one end and saw the skate park portion with guys on bikes, hunted down food favorites (cheese curds), and waited in line for Sweet Martha's Cookies for about 15 minutes. Well worth the wait. It was fun to see the sights and smell the wonderful foods.

We also hit the Little Farmhands area for kids. Cute! Alli got to put on an apron and pick up some corn kernels, and 'feed the cows', 'milk the cows', drive the hay on the 'tractor' - John Deere of course, and 'grow' vegetables.
Here, we have Alli and Daddy. They gave the kids free John Deere sun visors made from a foamy material and emblazoned with their symbol.

Seriously, they had sunflowers that were REAL
and taller than Alli! Heck, they were even taller than me.

We also went to the Eco Experience - where Dave had been working for most of that week previously. Since Dave works for the Pollution Control Agency, he offered his volunteer services to help out at the Eco Experience photo booth - essentially, he was the 'man behind the curtain' running the technology aspect and making sure that as people came through, had their photo taken with signs saying why they promised to bring their own bag, and made sure that those pictures showed up on the Reduce.org website.

As a momento....

All said, we probably spent about two hours just going through the Eco Experience. Sustainability is something that everyone should think about. Compost when you can - we live in a townhouse and we are looking for ANY way that we can do that. We have been recycling and separating as needed with all our waste as well for a while already, but still, you feel like there's always more you can do to contribute to a healthy Mother Earth.

Alli, hugging Bernie the Burn Barrel at Eco Experience. Bernie tells people how bad for the environment burning your garbage is. He has a lot to say about keeping the environment and air clean and clear - and that just because your parents and grandparents did it - doesn't make it right!

In other news...
We finally met with my friend and the caterer, Josh, this week. Wonderful meeting. Unfortunately I think we made it a tad too long - I didn't get his email about his wife feeling poorly and could we make it a short meeting until the day AFTER. I sure felt like an ass. Sorry Joshy! My email at work apparently dislikes me intensely - but only SOMETIMES.

Thursday night this last week was Alli's Open House. She's heading into Second grade and frankly, her teacher seemed nice, but I'm a bit worried about Alli and her Math skills that we worked SO hard on last year... and haven't used much of this last summer. Her reading is perfectly fine though as she loves to read anything and anywhere.

Time will tell I suppose!

Dave and I went on our first date in about a month last night. To the Claddagh Pub in Maple Grove. It was wonderful! The food was plentiful and delicious - melt in your mouth good. Dave had a drunken steak that was a prime piece of meat with Jameson whiskey. I had the more mellow but still fantastic and homey shepherd's pie. Accompanied by a Guinness for myself and a Newcastle Nut-brown Ale for Dave, it was truly an enjoyable dinner only made better by our dessert of Tipsy Bread Pudding. Yum!

Afterwards, we headed out to the local mall to have our ring fingers resized - I'm a 7, and he's an 11.5. I'm putting it in print so he doesn't argue with me later right before we order our rings. lol

Anyways, we need to get the invitations printed out tonight and things addressed. We need the RSVPs by October 6th and are offering the option of RSVPing online or by phone, or lastly, by snail mail.

Still so much to do, but we are looking forward to it!

The Tardis Cake Fiasco

2008-06-29T21:39:00.006-04:00

I wanted to do something nice for Dave for his groom's cake.

We had seen a while ago an "action shot" on the Thinkgeek.com website a bride and groom and a Tardis cake. Yeah, notice that their cake and mine look NOTHING ALIKE.

Now, for those of you whom aren't familiar with what Tardis is, it's basically a dark blue phone booth that has the words "POLICE BOX" on it. Dr. Who uses it as his time traveling vehicle as he visits the future and the past.

Not familiar with Dr. Who? Don't worry, I wasn't either. It's a pretty neat BBC show that Dave loves. So.... me, being the loving, devoted fiance and having time on my hands and having watched one too many Food Network Cake Challenges.... I did it.

You'll see the slowly sliding frosting that pulls down my perfectly square designs. I didn't expect it to be easy mind you, but even the slight amount of frosting to coat the sides was slooooowwwwwllllyyyyy sneaking down towards the cake board on the bottom. Stupidhead cake.

At least it tasted good, despite the 4 wooden skewers:

4 boxes of Betty Crocker Spice Cake mix. Prepared as stated on the back of the box.
4 containers of Betty Crocker Cream Cheese frosting
1 jar of Trader Joe's Pumpkin Butter
1 entire squishy thing of Blue food coloring (needed at least 3 of them to make it as blue as it should have been)
9 inch square cake pans
over 5 total hours of free time

I mixed 2 of the containers of cream cheese frosting with the 1 jar of pumpkin butter and used that as 'cement' between the 6 layers total that I made. Cut it down a bit, frosted the whole thing, had Dave scold me, put in skewers to make sure the whole thing stood up.... and then, when he saw the finished product, he said I should probably do a 2D version instead of the 3D version I made. Arrrrrgggghhhhhhhhh!!! *L*

Don't worry. The cake was gently dismantled and one part was put in a container and frozen, another part set aside for me to take to work, and then the remaining part was turned into what I like to call a "Franken-Cake". It's a sad sack of deliciousness with scary blue frosting and looks like a small hill under the frosting. The side is tilting the to left. It feels like I look: defeated.

Back to the drawing board!

Waiting on Laundry

2008-06-13T22:22:00.011-04:00

One night a couple weeks agothere were two bored people who were waiting on clothes in the dryer to get dry, and had a camera. This is a picture log to track their escapades.

I thought this one above might make a good engagement picture. But for the fact it looks like my face goes on forever on the side where I should have the end of my CHEEK.

Then Dave decided to make a grab for my chest.

Then he tried licking me and all I could do was giggle and scoot away.

Then I tackled him down on the bed and bit his nose. tee hee hee. Talk about a "man-eater"!

The final one shows Dave hiding. Unfortunately, only a small part of his body fits under it. And again, unfortunately we needed that bucket for laundry. Time to get back to folding clothes!

End of School Year Notes

2008-06-13T21:57:00.008-04:00

Alli, practicing her spelling words. Yes, even in first grade they now apparently have spelling tests!

Just a couple things to brag about, seeing as I feel we are so fortunate to have our little girl:

* Alli is showing reading and comprehension above 2nd grade level

* She is meeting her Math skills and most of the comprehension things they start teaching in 1st grade. Considering we were really worried about her lack of aptitude with Math in the middle of the year, Dave has spent a wondrous amount of time and devised countless study tactics to help her. Apparently it's paid off! :)

And a couple months ago, I thought it was hilarious when Alli decided to take some old monster Ziploc bags that were empty and play with them. Talk about recycling!

She said that She was "going to the Fuuuuttuuuurreeeeeee!!" Can't you tell that the hanger is her steering wheel?

For some reason, it reminded me of Conan O'Brien's skit "In the Year 2000" where the guy in the background is singing that phrase in a the high falsetto voice.

We actually decorated the inside of the "helmet" and "space ship" with red circles that are all "buttons" that help her drive. It was so flippin' cute!

Due to her cardboard playtime, Dave keeps telling Alli and I that this Yule/Christmas will be a "Cardboard Christmas". Kids are kids are kids. Give most of them bubble wrap or cardboard boxes... wrapping paper, ribbons, and bows... and they are happy enough to sit for hours with just themselves for company. As any parent knows! :)

Mother's Day (late!)

2008-06-13T21:49:00.003-04:00

Okay, so it's a bit late, but I have to say, after suffering a miscarriage right around her 7th birthday, my little pumpkin was sure to keep giving me hugs and kisses whenever I moved towards her for one or two. Well on Mother's Day, Dave and Alli let me sleep in. At one point I went to the potty, and had to walk by her bedroom door. In her doorway, I saw this beautiful sign that she wrote ALL BY HERSELF! She spelled everything correctly and it brought absolute tears to my eyes. Such a sweetie!

Little Evie!

2008-06-13T21:14:00.005-04:00

Kathleen & Evie

Evie & Alli

We went to visit Kathleen and Charlie and Evie a couple weeks ago and oh my GODS how she has grown! She's more adorable than she was when she was born. Enjoy!

Evie

Updates

2008-05-29T21:36:00.003-04:00

Things have healed much here. :) We are focused on the future and the near wedding.

Dave has also had a job offer from the Minnesota Pollution Control Agency. So, yippee! A continual income instead of the contracting will be a huge benefit to our family. Also helps that he's getting paid WAY more than peanuts. *G*

The downside is that I'll be assuming all pick up and drop off for Alli during this summer AND when she starts up school again in the Fall. This means that my schedule is now changing from 7:30am to 3:30pm, Monday through Friday to 8:00am to 4:30pm Monday through Thursday, and working 8am-2pm on Fridays. I won't be able to flex a lot of time, but at least Alli and I can have our Friday afternoons/evenings together this summer and do mommy-Alli stuff.

Dave will be taking the bus from Minnetonka to St. Paul which means he'll be leaving extra early and coming home barely before 6pm each night. More of the daily routines will be my responsibility - getting dinner on the table, helping Alli with homework, etc. - whereas before they were shared. It'll be a hard adjustment, but nothing I haven't already done as a single mom before. And Dave, you better read this and realize that just because you are working outside the home doesn't mean you're excused from HELPING! So there! :P

And onto the wedding/handfasting planning. Oy! Who knew napkins and linens were so expensive? Probably every other woman who's done wedding planing.

It's all in the details, you know? Each person's table setting is going to amount to around $10 each - including glass goblets, coffee cups and saucers. Don't forget the coffee pouring items, and the salad forks tongs, the wicker bread bowls, and OHMYGOSH, don't forget the TENT and sidewalls! We'll also need a tent heater, and while we're at it, crap, we might as well find a generator to beg, borrow, or rent. *L*

So yes, it's been exciting. We have an appointment to see Aarcee Tent and Party Rental
on Monday at 5:30pm. Because of Dave's analytical nature, I even made a spreadsheet detailing everything. Holy buckets. There's way more than I anticipated. I will say this though: the price isn't nearly as bad as I thought for what we've listed so far.

Anyways, Alli starts summer camp on June 12th, Dave starts his new job on June 11th, and the fun really starts then.

Flatulent Funnies (well, to me at least)

2008-05-05T17:56:00.003-04:00

The other night I was in the process of falling asleep, cuddled close to Dave; fortunately facing him.

Cocooned in my own little sleepy world, I heard a LOUD sound that made me shake and wake myself up.

Dave had farted. It sounded like a sonic BOOM to me.

Apparently I said, more than half asleep," Oooh! That was loud. It scared me!" in a small little voice. Then I promptly giggled as he laughed a full belly laugh, ...and then I fell back asleep.

So now, at random intervals Dave will repeat the "That was loud. It scared me!" in a falsetto voice and we both giggle. I know. We're weird.

Little Evie

2008-05-04T17:37:00.002-04:00

On the bright side, and somewhat, I dunno, ironic? side some would say, my best friend Kathleen had her daughter on April 16th, 2008.

Evelyn "Evie" Elizabeth weighed in at 10 pounds, 5 and 3/4 ounces, measuring 21 inches.

Kathleen ended up having a c-section because her body just wasn't cooperating with such a large and healthy little girl. *G*

We went up this weekend to Sandstone to see them and I have to say, Evie is absolutely ADORABLE. And so disgustingly good a baby you've NEVER seen. Seriously, she barely whimpered when she had gas - and she ate like a champ. I was just in awe! Kathleen joked that she was going to be a hellraiser when she hit 2 though... payback for being good the first couple of years. Tee hee hee.

Aunty Witchy has nicknamed her "Cheeks" because she had the most sweetest and pinchable little cheeks... That kid is lucky. :)

Kas and hubby were obviously tired and all, but doing well. After 8 years they finally have their first child and the glow hasn't worn off yet...as they are already planning for their second! *G*

Blessings to the mothers of the world on this beautiful Sunday afternoon. :)

Just the latest...

2008-05-04T16:55:00.003-04:00

After spending the last couple weeks dodging people, accepting condolences, having people dodge ME, and getting on with life here, I would say most things seem to be back to normal for myself and my little family.

We've refocused the energy we were using for the baby to cleaning out our nest, taking care of little things that needed to get done (cleaning out the basement/storage area, cleaning out the other finished portion of the basement - the family room) and regaining health.

I've decided to go back to trying to lose more weight - sensibly. Not like I'm a huge a$$ cow, but I wouldn't mind looking a little more on the voluptuous side in our handfasting pictures, instead of bloated and sporting a near double chin. Whomever said double chins are in, LIED.

Dave has been nothing but supportive and loving - with the exception that he can't process some of the deeper emotions that I as a woman go through during the grieving process. *shrugs* And the whole 6 weeks of pelvic rest isn't all roses, but there are ways around that. ;)

My hematologist, Dr. Wienshel, agreed to let us give this conception thing another shot in about 6 months - to quote Dave: "You tell him that we are getting married November 1st.... and that we are going to start trying to have another baby that night!"

According to the latest information that I was given when I went in for the d&c, Dr. Ney from MN Perinatal (whom I love to death! she performed my last d&c and was nothing but the nicest and calmly up-front doctor) advised me before they took me in for the procedure that the vials they had drawn from me at MN Peri on Thursday were testing positive for CMV and that likely could be a cause why the pregnancy terminated.

For all those not familiar with CMV, it's a virus and according to one of the websites I found (I think it was March of Dimes or some medical journal), Cytomegalovirus is the "...number one condition responsible for congenital mental retardation..."

It's too strange that over half of all adults will have contracted this by the age of 40 and exhibited little or no symptoms aside from minor cold or flu-like ones, and they go on their merry way without issues. However... for someone of my compromised immune system (due to clotting and platelet issues) and pregnant, when I contracted CMV, my body didn't have antibodies to fight off the virus, and my baby wasn't able to do it alone, so the pregnancy ended without my knowledge.

However, from what I read from various websites, this baby was honestly better off checking out than hanging around, waiting to be born to a possibly less than ideal quality of life.
From the CDC:

"Each year in the United States, about
1 in 750 children are born with or
develop disabilities as a result of CMV infection."

"Most babies with congenital (meaning from birth) CMV never have health problems. But, in some babies, congenital CMV causes health problems when
the baby is born or later in the baby’s life. These health problems may include

* Hearing loss
* Bleeding problems
* Vision loss
* Liver problems
* Mental disability
* Spleen problems
* Lung problems
* Growth problems

Sometimes health problems such as hearing or vision loss do not occur until months or years after birth. With proper care, most infants with CMV disease survive. Of those with symptoms at birth, 80% to 90% will have problems within the first few years of life. These problems may include hearing loss, vision loss, and various degrees of mental retardation. Of those infants with no symptoms at birth, 5% to 10% will later develop various degrees of hearing and mental or coordination problems."

I ran across a website where a woman was talking about her child and how she was a miracle baby who had spent her whole first year in the hospital and had numerous procedures, seizures, lung problems, etc - and yet she was a 'miracle'.

I'm sorry, but when you love someone or something so much, to see it suffer through it's first year of life... I don't think that's a miracle. I think it's fairly cruel. I came across another mother who's first daughter suffered the effects of CMV and had developed severe cerebral palsy, was unable to do barely anything but drool - and although she loved her daughter, understandably, when she became pregnant again and tested positive for a recurrent strain of CMV, she terminated the pregnancy 11 weeks in because it was too much of a risk for her to take that she would bring another unsuspecting soul into the world and have it possibly turn out for the worse again.

I've always believed there's a reason for everything happening, as trite as that sounds. To me, this was another angel taking a peek into our family, I think, and saying "Hey, I'll be back later, ok? You guys seem kinda busy. I'll stay forever next time!"

I go back to MN Perinatal May 13th for a post d&c check up and for some additional results. Dr. Ney did tell me that the baby was perfect, although obviously small. It had all 10 fingers and 10 toes, she said. For whatever reason, that made me feel better.

The Two Pound Soul

2008-04-20T10:55:00.002-04:00

So....

I went in on Thursday April 17th to my Perinatal appt. It was supposed to be routine enough. And I suppose in a way it was for me.

I peed in a cup. I got weighed - I lost 2 pounds! And I've been eating normal and all. Weird, I thought.

The nurse tried to find the baby on the in-room ultrasound which isn't really the best. I'm sure my fat roll didn't help at all. At least that's what I was blaming the fact they didn't see anything on.

The doctor came in - Dr. Lynch-Salaman. AWESOME, one word. We moved to a fully equipped ultrasound room and the tech and the doctor decided to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound for best results.

And there, on the screen, was no heart beat, and my fetus that I had started calling a "baby" even though I know better, curled up like a centipede curls up when it dies. Dr. Lynch-Salaman was apologetic and extremely kind in my first moments of shock.
And no, I didn't break down there; I had to remain calm to drive myself home to Dave so I could tell him the news. The nurse offered to let me use her cell phone - she was sweet and I declined. There's just some things you want to do in person.

The doctor and the nurse worked it so that on Monday I get to goto North Memorial Hosptial for the initial cervix-opening procedure, and then on Tuesday, the full D&C at Abbott. Allegedly, the cervix-opening procedure is supposed to be gentler on your body and better for when you try to have more children later on. I told the doctors that I really didn't think it mattered since this was going to be my 3rd D&C in 8 years due to tissue not passing when the pregnancy self-termed. I knew what to expect as far as the surgical D&C.

Then they threw this procedure for the cervix at me. Yikes. They stick Laminaria, or seeweed sticks into the opening of your cervix - as many as the doctor feels is appropriate to help open it - as the sticks swell and soften the cervix. They each have a loop and are all tied together as they hang from your cervix. I talked to the nurse at North Perinatal Clinic at the hospital and they said likely to expect cramping, possibly some discharge, but if tissue and bright red blood, to head directly to the ER - meaning my cervix is dilated enough and is trying to pass the fetus without assistance from medical personnel. This would be me, RUNNING to the ER.

So as I ly in bed on Thursday night talking to Dave, we had gotten past most of the heartbreak -for the moment- and I said something about how I lost two pounds from the last time I'd been to the perinatal clinic.... and I wondered if a soul was two pounds. We looked at each other. I teared up a bit. This baby was not expected, but it was wanted. It was almost like we were on borrowed time from the beginning. Were we greedy? Or stupid?

I feel stupid, after the fact, having told people - even though things were kosher and swimming along just fine. It's easier to share good news, than to share bad news and have people feel extraordinarily uncomfortable. You put on a brave face, put the "logic" chip back in your brain and explain to people that it's okay, it was unplanned, and you and your significant other are doing well and have plans to actually plan/try next time, and yes, it's never easy, but there are truthfully always others who are worse off than you are.

To the mothers out there who have gone nearly a whole pregnancy and lost their babies, who have lost them at 20 weeks, who have given birth and had a stillborn child.... I have nothing to complain about when I think about those mothers. And yes, they are still mothers.

I am still lucky in many eyes, including my own. I have a beautiful little girl who just turned 7 on Friday the 18th. I just thought that if this baby was supposed to be here, it would have been perfect for the timing. We'll always have next time, right?

27 weeks to go

2008-04-02T22:38:00.003-04:00

Now that the room has stopped spinning and I can eat peanut butter related items again, I'm just having to deal with the fatigue. Which is normal - and believe me, I'm not complaining! Just stating a fact.

I remember when I was prego with Alli that I used to fall to sleep and it would take a foghorn in the ear to wake me up. Exhaustion was my constant companion then.... but it's mild now compared to what I remembered. Still, I'm old. I turn 29 on Sunday. Alli turns 7 on the 18th of April. Which brings me to remember what it was like when she was born and how I'm preggers again. Oy.

When Alli was born, it was by emergency c-section and I was about 27 weeks with pre-eclampsia and HELLP. She emerged at just about 1 pound, 11 and 1/2 ounces. Talk about traumatic for us both!

And so now, nearly 7 years later, I look back on her birth and promise myself and my family that this time should not be nearly so traumatic or dramatic. According to my perinatologists, I have only a 25% chance to develope pre-eclampsia again, and that knowing about any predisposition means that we are armed to take better care this time. I think a large factor that is in my favor this time is that Dave isn't asking for a divorce when I'm 6 months pregnant (as my ex husband did). *L* Stress is never good, let alone when you're pregnant. Go figure.

But... so far all is well and normal. I have my Level II ultrasound in about 6 weeks to check for additional possible issues and do a really COOL 3D picture of the baby. We should also be able to see something as to the gender as well. I'm pretty darn excited this time - Alli was a surprise, but I am too old for surprises. *L* I want to know what gender it is so we can plan ahead. No fun you say? Oh well. I have enough surprises daily with my 7 year old. *L*

Locks of Love

2008-03-29T19:34:00.003-04:00

So much has been going on, but here's a brief story to share:

I've been trying to get to Great Clips or Fantastic Sam's to get my hair and Alli's hair cut this entire week. Since my brother was visiting, we had other things to do, and when we weren't doing those other things, I was laid low with exhaustion.

So this morning around 8:30 Alli bounces into our room and puts her cold hands on my face and giggles. Sure, Mom gets shocked awake! I admonish her, cuddle her for a minute as Dave wakes up enough to tell her she can play quietly for a bit while we "wake up". Really what he means is while we sleep for another 45 minutes.

However... since I've been pregnant, I've had a harder time getting to sleep, and falling back to sleep when I've been woken up. It's extremely annoying, believe me.

So I ly in bed and think "Hey! Fantastic Sam's opens at 9 I think..." I jiggle Dave awake around 9am and tell him Alli and I are heading out for hair cuts. He falls back asleep slightly drooling into his pillow.

Alli and I put on clothes, brushed our teeth, brushed our long, glorious locks, and headed out.

We had a 20 minute wait, but nothing major at Fantastic Sam's. The gals there were extremely friendly and all spoke English (major bonus!).

Alli went first and the gal who cut her hair asked if we wanted to "donate" after I showed her the shorter hair cut I was thinking of for Alli. I looked at her and said, "Eh... sure!" She went on to explain that they need at least 10 inches to qualify for a Locks of Love donation that they can send in for us. I told them heck yeah, take it!

Alli now has a much shorter and more manageable look for herself - one that she can certainly help more with than her nearly butt length hair previously. She likes it; I think she's adorable.

Next it was my turn. I looked at my salon person, Patty, and told her to take ten inches off as well. She was stunned! My hair, too, is butt length. Suffice it to say that I now have a much shorter, more free-floating hairstyle. Right at where my neck and my back meet. My hair hasn't been this short since when I was pregnant with Alli I think....

So we had a great time, donated to Locks of Love, and then went up to the counter to pay. The gal, Patty, looked at us blankly and said "Oh, since you both donated today, the haircuts are free!"

I was STUNNED.

Imagine doing something because it feels good knowing that your hair is going to help others and then getting a free haircut and NOT EXPECTING IT.
It was a wonderful surprise. Now I know that our hair goes to help children who have/are going through chemo and suffer from alopecia areata. :)

To find out more: http://www.locksoflove.org/

103.9

2008-03-09T16:49:00.002-05:00

no, the above is not a new radio station.

it's the temp that dave reached all by his talented self last night despite ibuprofen, and other 'nsaids' - then i took kathleen's advice and shoved some acetaminophen down his gullet and his fever started dropping.

and a nice cool bath where i put buckets of water over his head while he breathed in through clenched teeth.

he has the flu.

and i am exhaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuussssssssssssttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddddd.
and i have to work tomorrow.

and he is doing better. thankfully. but i am pooped.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

2008-02-26T22:02:00.003-05:00

I am exactly 8 weeks pregnant today. I have no fear in sharing this as I went to see my Perinatologist for the first time this morning.

They performed a trans-vaginal ultrasound ... lo and behold! A baby with a heartbeat of 164 beats per minute was clearly visible!!

This was entirely a surprise and completely unplanned - in fact, Dave and I have been working in the OPPOSITE direction as I was on Coumadin (which crosses the placenta - no good) and according to my Hematologist he wanted me to wait until this summer to go back on the Lovenox (safe for baby, pregnancy good).

Luckily, although I went into the doc about 4 weeks ago because I thought I had a urinary tract infection and they diagnosed me as pregnant, I haven't had any issues. Praise the Gods. No bleeding, no cramping; just nausea and the occasional minor headache..... and FOOD CRAVINGS that have been driving Dave nuts. *L*

Seriously? I was craving chilli and ate a whole can for lunch yesterday. It was SO GOOD. And I paid for it by feeling stuffed for 7 hours until I ... well...let's just say the juice helped me out with getting rid of that bloated and miserable feeling. *L*

According to my Perinatologist, Dr. Fairbanks (a lovely, well-organized physician, very caring and astute) even though I'm considered to be high risk due to previous pre-eclampsia with Alli, and my blood disorder issues, she was reassuring when I asked her what my chances of full term birth were and she looked me in the eye and said "I would say you have a 98% likelihood of having a happy, healthy baby." I then asked if it was okay to tell people and she said "I don't see why not! A heartbeat is a wonderful thing." It put my mind at ease and put me on guard for taking care of myself - which between Dave and myself, we've been doing quite a good job. :)

He loves me so much...he's been making dinner for the last month - letting me ly down on the couch and catch a 15 minute snooze while he preps dinner, and then runs to pick up Alli from the bus. When he and Alli return, he then completes dinner prep and has been taking care of the kitchen for the most part. My HERO! :)

We finally told Alli tonight and she is ecstatic about being a big sister. My best friend Kathleen, and my other friends Beckah, Jenn, Sheila, etc.... they were all told and are excited for us as well.

It's funny when you think about it though. I'm due October 7th. Dave's birthday is October 9th. Even if they decide to schedule me for an early c-section, my sister's birthday was September 21st.... which made me pause. :) And then we are still getting married November 1st. Oy! So MUCH to do this year - and I haven't even gotten into how my little brother, Alex, who's 19 this November is going to moving in with us this summer and staying for the length of Le Cordon Bleu cooking program...or longer.

I'm looking forward to the challenges this year is going to be bringing. Aren't you? *L*

Kisses

2008-01-30T22:15:00.001-05:00

We have special kisses in our family when it comes to goodnight kisses...and we have just added a new one.

First, we have the "puppy kiss", where you basically fake your family member out like you are going to give them a kiss on the cheek, and instead you stick out your tongue and lick them like a puppy would. This kiss was courtesy of Grandpa Gary and Aunty Kathleen.

Next, we have "vacuum kisses". These were invented by Dave; where basically you suck in air close to the person's face, thus creating a bit of a vacuum pull. It tickles. *G*

Then, there's there are "zombie kisses". This is ALL Dave's invention again. He loves horror and zombie movies so he created a fun kiss for Alli where he pretends to gnaw on the top of her head while mumbling "Mmmm gooooooooood brains! Me like brains!" Of course, she giggles and laughs heartily.

Well, tonight, mommy invented a new kiss. The "chicken kiss" where you pretty much peck kisses on the person's cheek/face like a chicken would peck at corn. Yay, me! I finally came up with one .... and luckily she laughed in enjoyment. Tee hee hee!

May you hold your little ones close and invent new kisses and ways to make them giggle into sweet dreams! :)

For those that are Socially Awkward, I salute you

2008-01-28T21:32:00.000-05:00

How To Have More Social Success!

The above site was pointed out to me by my love, Dave. Yes, my geek man showed this website to me, laughingly.

To which I asked, "Have you read it yet?"

He pouted and walked away, muttering "have I read it yet!"

It features such wonderful reading as (don't worry, I've picked out the highlights!):

How To Be More Fun / How To Be Less Boring
Regular Logical Mode vs. Fun Partying Mode In Social Interactions

Thoughts On 'Connecting' With People
What To Do If Your Friends Suck

The Importance of Getting Your Appearance In Order
How Your Interests Can Affect Your Social Success

And other links you can click on the main page that made me giggle:

Geared More Towards Guys:

How To Dance - For Average Guys
My Advice For Any Shy, Awkward Guys Still in High-School
How I (Gradually) Became Less Obsessive About Playing Video Games

Geared More Towards Women:

Inside The Mind Of Guys Who Are Shy And Inexperienced With Women

Somewhat Controversial / Things You May Not Want To Hear:

At Times It's Socially Practical To Know About Things Other People Care About
Being Honest With Yourself About Your Social Problems
Are You Sure You Know What You Want Socially?
What To Do If You Can't Relate To All The Shallow People Out There
It's Fine If You Don't Drink, But Don't Be Too Uptight About It

Fantastic reading for those who live with, love, are married to the geeks, nerds, and dweebs of the world. It gives you a bit more insight. ;)

The Mom Song

2008-01-26T22:06:00.000-05:00

You HAVE to see this!

Gettin' Back on the Horse

2008-01-06T22:23:00.001-05:00

Well, really, more like getting back to planning the Handfasting/Wedding.

Dave and I have finally picked our colors - and they are based on this Godiva Chocolate tin that he gave to me for Yule. Frankly, I feel like a flake for saying that, but it's the truth. *L* I fell in love with the colors, and Dave has disavowed any real say in the color scheme, linens, flowers, etc. Believe me, I've tried to make him interested, but he at least realizes he's out of his element as the type of man he is.

I emailed my buddy who'll be catering the handfasting to see if we could get a jump with the new year on wedding details. We need to sit and plan the menu out, and then have a tasting meeting, and move along from there with payment, etc.

We really need to make an appointment with Midway Party Rental to spend a few hours with them and Dave. He may not care about colors and textures, but our pocket book will - and he DOES have say with that. ;)

I now have to find a new dress, too. The silver one I ordered and now have hanging in our closet won't match anything - the tin has copper, gold, yellow, green, and some doe brown hues. Really quite pretty. Dave doesn't have to worry - he has already picked out his clothes and he can get them in either soot black or doe brown. Easy choice.

And so.... we're picking up again and moving forward. I still need to reschedule with our choice of officiant. Gods, I hope she doesn't say no. We had to cancel the first time because of Kathleen's dad's accidental death and we just haven't gotten around to rescheduling again. Oy.

Good Weekend? Mine was!

2008-01-06T21:45:00.000-05:00

We were SO FREAKING BUSY this weekend! It was INSANE!

Friday night I bit the bullet and said "Screw it!" to all the cooking implements that had no place to live in our kitchen. I enlisted Alli's help and we went through all the cabinets that had pots and pans I knew were just sitting there, unloved, and unused.

My kitchen is clean! I have places that now lovingly house new cookies sheets, new pizza pans, my new crock pot and toaster from Kathleen, and ....well, I didn't quite get to the cabinet that houses the rats' nest of tupperware, but was pleased with the results. Tupperware is a plan for next weekend, methinks.

Exhausted, I then headed upstairs and started packing for Sandstone. Alli tried to help. I know she did. But all she really did was play on our bed in the sheets and hide while I asked her every few minutes to go and get things to put in her bag - which she did - and then she'd hide back under the sheets. Silly girl. After the bags were packed, she realized it was time for bed and ran to brush her teeth.

She gets really excited when she knows we're going to visit Aunty Kathleen and Uncle Charlie - especially since Kathleen's been pregnant.

Saturday morning began bright and early with showers, getting dressed, grabbing breakfast and taking leave. We arrived at Kas's around 11am and chilled for a bit before destroying her living room.

No, really - she asked us to.
We helped her and Charlie move around their living room so they could put the changing table in there for the baby. Yes, it makes sense - their rooms are upstairs, but everything else is on the main level and really who wants to be running up and downstairs all day when you're already exhausted from being up all night?

Anyways...Dave and Charlie spent about an hour trying to figure out how to re-hook the cables up once the entertainment center had been moved. Pretty hilarious when neither man knows how it's supposed to go because it was Kathleen and I who just ripped the cables out and threw them on the couch. hee hee hee. We're evil. Diabolically so.

I cleaned their kitchen while the boys played with the TV- because that's the kind of friend I am; Kathleen's back was hurting so bad. I can't say I remember being nearly 6 months pregnant, but her body has certainly changed shape and she is still trying to do things that she used to, although her center of gravity has changed.

We went out to dinner - minus Charlie who's back hurt so badly he came home early from poker.
Kathleen, her mom Linda, Alli, Dave, and myself all had a lovely dinner at Tobie's - Dave had a 20 oz porterhouse steak. Gah! It made me glad that we don't really eat that much red meat, that he could enjoy the steak without guilt.

Sunday morning we snuck out, not wanting to wake them. Yes, we frequently sneak out when they are still asleep and let ourselves out. Hey, we have a key to their house, we're allowed. *L*

We headed over to my parents' house and Alli was deluged with pressies while my brother Alex gave us his old Nintendo 64 and talked alot about moving in with us this summer, and going to Le Cordon Bleu in Mendota Heights which is about 25 minutes from where we live.
Think he was trying to buy us off a bit? Alex even pulled out his Guitar Hero 3 and let us crank on that for a bit. I have pictures I'll post later; it was pretty funny. :)

A good weekend. And now...I'll just watch some Keith Olbermann and chill with my honey.
Make it a good week everyone!

December 25th

2008-01-02T23:34:00.000-05:00

We still sort of celebrate Christmas, as well as Yule. This stems from the fact that I grew up with it and why the hell shouldn't I get two days of presents? Okay, not so much....but more really to do with Santa.

You know Santa, right? The guy in the red suit with white trim? Well we are still encouraging Alli to believe in him. And why not?! I equate her belief in Santa and the spirit of the season with innocence. I want her to remain innocent about the commercialism for as long as she can (this is why we have a DVR and fast forward through the commercials!).

We had lovely breakfast of cinnamon rolls and fruit, then took to the presents. Tally ho!

Our Trader Joe's Gingerbread house....look how the cat is stuck to the house.

These flowers are part of the lovely bouquet Dave got me for Yule- there's also a swag, and a LOT of Godiva chocolate. Yum.

Here we have Alli, with Rudy the Godiva bear she got from Dave with some of her own chocolates. She is waiting patiently to open presents.

Dave - not sharing his roasted chestnuts.
And to that I say "I didn't want your nuts anyways!" So there.

It was nice to be home with my family Christmas day. Food, cheese, chestnuts, and love. Mmmm. And not in that order necessarily. May yours have been as good as mine! :)

Yule 2007

2008-01-02T22:57:00.000-05:00

Our family celebrated Yule with members of our extended family - Jenn and Beckah.

We had a non-traditional meal of yummy proportions (although I still think that the cornbread stuffing made in the low fat way was a bit dry):

Yule Dinner:

Relish Tray: pickles = sweet & dill, olives = black & green, devilled eggs, and beets
Pineapple/Honey glazed Ham - 7 lb
Sweet Potatoes from Schwan's Man
Honey Whole Wheat Dinner Rolls
Green Beans w/bacon
Cornbread Stuffing
Cranberry Jelly

Dessert:

Pannetone Bread Pudding w/Butterscotch Caramel sauce

The girls were lovely enough to enjoy a peaceful and loving meal. Alli enjoyed chattering with Jenn and Beckah. Everyone loved the green beans with (surprise!) real bacon chunks mixed in.

The one splurge where no fat was spared was with the Pannetone Bread Pudding. 5 whole eggs, milk, sugar, brandy.... Have I told you I'm a master bread pudding maker? I had the recipe down back in high school for what I called my "Man Catcher" bread pudding. Simply delightful and ultimately sinful. Alas, since I have my man, I no longer need to stoop to such fattening lows...that often. ;) Topped with Butterscotch Caramel sauce.... heaven in a bowl (we had Schwans' low fat vanilla frozen yogurt as well).

I however, won't discuss the Chambord incident. Nor how tipsy I was from a bit of Rum and orange-pineapple juice from the night before. I'm such a non-lush.

We opened pressies after our late lunch/early dinner....

Here we have Jenn and Alli on the couch; I believe this was after dinner - Jenn went into an alcohol and food induced stupor.

But seriously, aren't they adorable? I happen to know one is over 18 and single....heh.

And I also have a feeling she'll seriously maim me if she ever reads that.

Anywho....

Beckah, the author, is holding a mighty scary shirt. She's already told me that I'm partly in her novel as it is.... some of me is manifested in the main character. Yikes. Jenn is supposed to be a smarty pants in her professional job, so I thought that the shirt fit. More people SHOULD be taking notes when Jenn opens her mouth. They should so bow down and worship her.

And here we have Alli opening her pressie from Beckah ~ yes, she asked if it was okay first.

Beckah got her THE cutest deck of Tarot cards! Seriously, cards are fine (but Ouija boards are out of the QUESTION; those things creep me out and I have found that they let more bad things near than good). They are adorable - check the instructional book out here.

Alli in front of the Yule tree. Like the decoration? Dave and I (well, mostly Dave, acting like Mr. Monk) made it last year for 2006. It's held up pretty well. And no. I don't know or remember why Alli was holding an empty wrapping paper tube.

All in all, Yule was fun: we ate, we drank, some of us threw up a little in our mouths from time to time, and pressies were had by all.

New Year Goals

2008-01-01T00:05:00.000-05:00

Happy New year!

It seems like every year a friend of mine (Beckah!) will make a list of 100 Things to Do...or something of the like. I decided to attempt that. Maybe not 100 though. Hmm.... we'll see how far I get.

Things I would like to do in 2008:

1.) Spend more quality time with my family.
(1a.) Remember to make time for Dave, time for Alli, and separate family time!)

2.) Try not to be such a spaz about the little things.

3.) Finish planning our wedding (before the ceremony! tee hee hee :)

4.) Eat better/more low and non-fat into the diet.

5.) Walk more.

6.) Make Dave walk.

7.) Communicate more with loved ones and friends (phone, email, snailmail, etc).

8.) Meditate.

9.) Spend more time studying Wicca and rites.

10.) Return to Tarot (thank you for the faerie cards, B!!)

11.) Be more involved with Alli at school - as much as possible.

12.) STOP PROCRASTINATING on doing necessary things! (See how far down the list this is?)

13.) Make sure no more than $500 in debt is on credit cards at any point in time.

14.) Make sure to use Upromise for Alli's benefit. :)

15.) Plan for baby #2 to be conceived this coming summer - get body and mind in shape!

16.) Get Dave ready for baby.

17.) Get Alli lots of "Big Sister" style clothes after confirming pregnancy has reached 3rd month. ;)

18.) Make at least one trip to the theater as a family to watch a family-friendly show.

19.) Have a date night with Dave at least once a month.

20.) Find a regular sitter.

21.) Find time to write.

22.) Listen more to my body and mind....empowering internal and external intuition.

23.) Blog more.

There. That's it so far. That's all I got. For right now.

Have a Happy and SAFE New Year my friends. Be well. May this be your best year yet! :)

Baby News

2007-12-28T23:26:00.000-05:00

No, I'm not pregnant, yet. But Kathleen is! Having now passed her 22 week, they were able to do an ultrasound and determine that the doctor says Kas is having a .... are you ready?

*drumroll*

GIRL!

Yes, Charlie was a bit disappointed at first, but he's definitely come around; Kathleen made sure of that.
Believe me, Aunty Witchy is going to be mighty involved. :)

And I just realized that my year is shaping up like this:

Jan-Feb: Plan Kathleen's Baby shower with her mother in law and mom
March: Kathleen's Baby Shower
April: Mine, Alli's and Kathleen's birthdays -
Late April/May: Baby due!
October: Bachelorette Party for me
November: Wedding!

Man, I'm gonna be pooped by the time we get married.

Ch...ch...changes....

2007-12-28T21:28:00.001-05:00

I know, I know. Where the HELL have I been, right?

Well, let's see....

I switched jobs in November right after ThanksGiving, so now I can (I think) tell you all the horrible stories about my former employer (without mentioning any names, I'm sure) and how there was a TON of butt licking and brown nosing people that weren't qualified to ride the short bus.... even with a helmet. Whew.

In my old job, I used to be a customer service rep -- who is leashed to a phone queue 7 hours a day, answers benefit and claims questions, has her day scheduled down to the minute, and felt I couldn't do #2 unless I planned it during my lunch.

I am now doing what I call my 'vacation job' - I work an earlier shift that I have the option to flex my hours with, I plan my own day, I no longer have a leash, and I handle Ambulance billing for a local hospital. It's fantastic! I actually feel like an adult for once in my professional life.

Yay me!

So I've been busy with settling into my new job amongst other things. More later. Trust me, MORE LATER. (<-------- Dave is watching me type. heh.)

Wedding Fair Weekend

2007-10-24T22:45:00.000-04:00

Okay, yeah so I know it was back on October 14th, which was a Sunday... and sure it was a while ago, but I thought I'd bring you up to speed.

When Kas came down to visit, we shopped 'til she literally dropped. Motherhood Maternity in store was a MAJOR LET DOWN! The Plus Size section SERIOUSLY was half the size of my bathroom - which is pretty small as a whole.

Beckah stayed over with Kas on Saturday night - Both of them passing out while we were attempting to watch a Wedding cake making video. I stayed up with Alli to watch. It was interesting.

The REAL fun began Sunday morning in getting ready to leave for the Wedding Fair.

Beckah was lovely enough to bring some super yummy thick cut bacon for us girls to have Sunday morning breakfast. She advised me beforehand that we could put it on baking sheets and cook it in the oven... and it normally takes a half hour.

I put two sheets of bacon in the oven and set the timer for half an hour.
Suffice it to say that I set off the smoke alarm and pissed and scared the crap out of Dave. *L*

Silly me..... burning bacon from the oven, and making horridly indistinguishable hash browns that I discretely tossed out in the trash. Yikes.

One thing after another; the four of us - Jen, Beckah, Kas and me all climbed into the van. Beckah had offered to drive and I declined...I felt I shouldn't be afraid of driving into downtown. I'm a big girl. Right?

Well.... I made a wrong turn the first time and we saw Sexworld from a distance. The vagrants at 11:45am in the morning made it a particularly homey scene as they sat against the building. I made two illegal turns to get back to the highway. What? There was no one around! I swear.

The second attempt to get to the Minneapolis Convention Center was much better - we found it, we parked, and then we all got out on shaky legs. No thanks to my driving. Tee hee hee.

It was a beautiful bridal fair. I loved the decor that Midway Party Rental put up around the convention center. Made me feel really quite well that I had chosen them. :) I got a few ideas about flowers - did you know that Chrysanthemums are the Winter flowers and come in a wide array of colors? And there were so many sights and sounds! I have now decided that DJs are slimy, sleazy, greasey monkeys. That is all.

The girls and I scoped out the freebies: chocolates, candies of all kinds, free cake samples (YUM), and about 2 hours into it, I couldn't take it anymore. There was no way I would last much longer, I knew. Beckah seemed surprised while Jen and the pregnant Kas seemed grateful. Trust me, the less time I spend with the mainstream, the better.

We adjourned to the Western 'burbs for an early Sunday dinner at Macaroni Grill, and then everyone went away and I slept. Alot. It was a long weekend.

Guess who turns 38 today?

2007-10-09T20:44:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday my Dave!

In true Dave fashion, he didn't want us to make a big deal out of my birthday. And yes, he got his wish. I was good. *G*

And then my leg went numb...

2007-10-06T18:54:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I know. What a way to grab attention.

Seriously though, I'm fine now. Last Thursday night I wasn't so certain when my left leg (the leg that has the clot in it) went numb and all tingly for a few hours. I wasn't panicked, but I was concerned and knew it was either a nerve that was compressed for some odd reason, or it was an unhappy thing concerning the existing clot.

Friday afternoon I left work for an emergency ultrasound at Fairview Southdale. Then was sent home to await further instructions.

Good news: From the ultrasound, they could determine that the clot hadn't changed - no bigger, no smaller, it's all good.

Better news: The tingly feeling with the previous numbness had to be due to a nerve. Which has happened before.... you know, like when you sit on the toilet too long, and then one of your legs goes numb.... okay, maybe I'm the only one that's happened to. uhhhh....

I see Dr. Weinshel on Monday again. Consultation to discuss moving forward. What he thinks I should be doing from here on out, whether it's ultrasounds once a month or if he thinks I should go back on the Coumadin. Cross your fingers and toes that he'll let me remain on the Lovenox. At least for right now.

Gurgle gurgle....

2007-10-06T18:31:00.000-04:00

My tummy isn't feeling so well this weekend. Either I'm prego or it's the cheesey egg hashbrown bake we made this morning. I have no excuse as to why my boobs hurt, unless it's just because my hormones are gearing up for me getting my period here in a few days. Still, I have some small hope....even as I tell myself at the same time that it'll happen when it's supposed to. (But I want it to happen NOW! WAHHH! *lol*)

Every time I talk to Kathleen on the phone, I offer up prayers of thanks to the Gods. Her pregnancy is progressing just as it should, and she and Charlie get more excited as the days go by. I just hope and pray for them that this is a successful pregnancy. :)

Work is work. Helping others daily. I don't hate going into work, but after a while, the tedium gets to me. The busy season is coming though soon, which means we'll have very little time to breathe, let alone worry.

Next weekend the girls and I are hitting the Twin Cities Bridal Association Wedding Fair. Yay! Yeah, even though I'm not so much traditional, as many of you know. I think if anyone would ask why we're going there, I would say "I heard there was cake!"

Kathleen is going to be driving up next Saturday morning and we'll hit Motherhood Maternity stores locally - Ridgedale Mall and Eden Prairie Center Mall both have locations. Apparently Motherhood Maternity has super cute clothes for the lovely pregnant woman. I can only hope I get to utilize those stores too.

It's funny. When I was prego with Alli nearly 7 years ago, they didn't have much for the pregnant woman out in the hicks. I have to wonder if Kathleen would have still found the Motherhood Maternity shop if she hadn't taken my advice and gotten internet access 3 years ago. heh.

AaarrrrRRRRR!

2007-09-19T21:38:00.000-04:00

Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Okay, so I wore Dave's pirate shirt "Pirates of Yore", and attempted to borrow Alli's pirate hat from her Halloween costume for this year. Unfortunately, of all my body parts to be fat, my head is one of the least I'd expect to be! The bloody hat didn't fit.

So I decided to make do instead with the eye patch. Yes. I was sexy and daring. Going around saying "AAaaarr!" and "Avast matey!" all day was certainly a good way to break up the monotony of the workplace.

And no one had to walk the plank. Me be heartily disappointed. Arrrr.

Doctor Updates

2007-08-28T22:52:00.001-04:00

So... I saw Dr. Weinshel on Monday.

This is the game plan - not much has changed:

Keep me on Lovenox. (yay)
Come back in 6 weeks so they can do another ultrasound on my left leg.

If a.) the clot or thrombus as its called is the same size, no worries.
If b.) the clot is bigger, I go back on Coumadin and scrap pregnancy for 6 months to a year - if I am not already prego, that is.

There's always hope. I have two cycles then to get knocked up. If not, then we'll wait until after we get married next November. It's all good.

That is all, good people.

Someone's Pregnant...and I'm borrowing her Fertility Monitor

2007-08-24T22:42:00.000-04:00

Kathleen is FINALLY pregnant!! YAYYYYYYYYYYY!!! For the first time EVER, in her LIFE, she is prego.

Get it?

Prego! (It's in there.)

Okay, maybe you're too young if you don't get the Prego Spaghetti Sauce reference. Nevermind.

But yay!! So, she's due, funnily enough, at the end of April 2008. hehehe. Like we don't have enough going on in that month, what with MY birthday, Alli's birthday, Kathleen's birthday, Kathleen and Charlie's anniversary.... criminy! Let's just add another birthday in there for the heck of it. Why not?!

So we were talking the other night and she's decided that she's going to let me borrow her fertility monitor since she's pregnant (5 weeks officially ~ they were spreading the word on Monday). She's even giving me some of her pee strips - oh stoppit! They're UN-USED ones. Sheesh.

I think she's hoping I get prego here in the next couple weeks (Yay! I'm fertile the weekend before Alli starts school!) so she and I can share the experience of the nausea, the heartburn, backache, hemorrhoids, and horrendous gas together with a large dose of emotional rollercoaster of feelings on the side.

I have to wonder if we do, will we survive each other's crabbiness, bitchiness, and eating each other out of house and home? Keep you posted.

"The Doctor isn't worried about you at all!"

2007-08-24T22:21:00.000-04:00

Oy.

Tuesday night I ran by the ER just to say Hi to all my admirers there at Fairview Southdale. I came ready - pre-packed undies, enough romance novels to read for 10 hours, appropriate Cottonelle clean wipes, and socks...in my Dumbledore's Army bag, no less.

Seriously, I've had a funky feeling in my leg since last Tuesday. And after a day of moving around on it, my left leg began to hurt in the calf. Oh yes, you guessed it dear reader, it's another clot. Yay me!

I spent 3 and 1/2 hours in the ER for them to tell me:
a.) It's a clot
And then called the MOHPA doc on call, Dr. Sang to decide if they wanted to admit me or not. They decided not to, and to have me call my regular Hematologist's office in the morning.
So they:
b.) Sent me home.

Now, the bonuses are that I got to sleep in my own bed and snuggle with my man. The negatives were trying to reconcile the ER docs telling me it's 'a minor clot'. WTF? Whoever heard of a MINOR CLOT???

I played phone tag all day Wednesday as a sat in bed, watching movies with Alli and reading, and generally entertaining us both with this HUGE pack of dry-erase EXPO markers I got - more on that later. Anyways... when it all came down to it, Doc Weinshel's nurse Brianna told me that I can resume all normal activity... they are keeping me on the Lovenox, it's probably a chronic clot that I just happened to notice (sure) and I can go back to work on Thursday without issues, and he's not all that concerned about the clot as it's nonocclusive (which is a fancy word for "not blocking anything") and fairly minor. Brianna kept telling me to wiggle my ankles alot though... Hmm. But yeah...

So this is where it is:

I'm still on Lovenox.
They are not putting me back on Coumadin anytime soon.
We can still try to get pregnant.

But THEN... I've been reading some scary shite the last couple days about the rate of maternal deaths. Most of them are related to c-sections and clotting. Well, DUH that's exactly the two situations I didn't want to see.

But then if you read the article completely, it brings up the fact that most of these women are black, in their late 30's and early 40's, and are unable to have the babies vaginally, and are obese.

I look at myself and think, Hmm...I'm 28, obese, but I would be a planned c-section, and I already take a whole bunch of anticoagulant drugs to keep me where I need to be as far as NOT clotting....oh yeah, and I'm a white chick with no other health problems to speak of...so far.

So in one way, I'm a bit concerned, but in another, I'm not. I would already be labeled a high-risk mother and should already therefore be receiving the best and most specialized care they can offer me.

But then I think about the Perinatologist, Dr. Ney, that I'd spoken to and seen for my D&C. She was so totally on board for me getting pregnant last I saw her. And if Dr. Weinshel is good to go, then I don't see why we shouldn't proceed as planned. I have faith in my doctors, but I'm certainly not ignorant after spending years around them.

Only the God and Goddess can guide us now. Blessings Be to all the harried and adored mothers in the world tonight. :)

What Color is Your Soul?

2007-08-24T22:16:00.000-04:00

What color is your soul painted?

Purple

Your soul is painted the color purple, which embodies the characteristics of sensuality, spirituality, creativity, wealth, royalty, nobility, mystery, enlightenment, arrogance, gaudiness, mourning, confusion, pride, delicacy, power, meditation, religion, and ambition. Purple falls under the element of Earth, and was once a European symbol of royalty; today it symbolizes the divine.

Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

"Wow, You're really letting your Geek flag fly with that bag..."

2007-08-16T21:08:00.000-04:00

... so said one of my co-workers today, commenting on my "Dumbledore's Army" messenger bag. Yes, I AM that nerdy. And paired with a "Dumbledore for President" pin... well, the ensemble was complete!

Anyways... not too much new here. Alli was diagnosed with strep throat on Tuesday thanks to Urgent Care. Yay! She stayed home and bugged Dave Wednesday.... and seems to think if she's good enough, she just might get the Mario RC kart from ThinkGeek. Hm. Who possibly gave her that idea, honey? *Stares Dave down*

Ahh well...it's working as a bribe for now.

I started my Lovenox shots today (YAY!), meaning Dave and I can mambo 'til we drop and conception is a GOOD thing now. I'm taking down the baby-making ticker and replacing it with a wedding one until I have good news about a "wee bairn" to share. I have a doc appt on the 23rd for lab, to make sure the Lovenox dosage they have me on is enough, and then again on the 27th for a full check-over. THEN, on this Monday, I have my yearly fondle and scrape. *shudders* At least I don't have to turn my head and cough. Ain't NO ONE puttin' nothin' up my a$$. It has a sign that proudly hangs above stating quite clearly, "Exit Only".

My honey has ordered my laptop. YAY! Set for arrival at the end of the month. And we finally agreed on a beautiful, but not horribly expensive engagement ring. Yes. I promise to take good care of it.

And last weekend, we finally told my parents. Ahhh lovely Quarry Days weekend....
They seemed happy, showering us with congratulations. We'll see how long it takes before they try to cause issues - although they did agree that we can use their commercial kitchen for our caterers, Chefs Naturally.

It'll be all good. Right?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

2007-07-22T11:36:00.001-04:00

*****It took me almost 8 hours to read this book. I'm not intending to release spoilers here!! I promise!!******

I have to say, I loved it. It was fantastic -and only the second or third time ever, that I've cried so hard about characters who have died or been killed.

Such an emotional response is only natural to give to characters that you have known so well over the last 8 -10 years that it's taken to get through all the previous books and wait hungrily to devour the last course.... the Deathly Hallows.

Death is never a joy to write, I'm sure. But I took comfort in the fact that a couple of the people she killed off were a 'couple' and in the romantic style, one could not have gone on without the other. Order members until the end, they fought beside Harry at the Battle of Hogwarts, leaving their newborn child to suffer the same fate as Harry... now a young godfather to a child who would know his parents sacrificed themselves for the defeat of Voldemort.

So much in this book made me cry. I think Alli, to quote Ron, would think mommy "...was mental, that one!". Reading each page and knowing this would likely be the last adventure to share with these characters - human with their flaws, written so well and lovingly drawn. If you are a reader of the Harry Potter series, you sobbed when Dumbledore was killed by Snape, you laughed and snickered when Ron found out about Harry and Ginny and their stolen moments...I'm sure your heart melted a bit, too.

And so, I read through the entire book, trying to process the story as I went, rushing but trying to savor the story, who was doing what, and what I thought was to be the foreshadow of events to come.

When all was said and done, I was happy for the most part. 3 deaths I found unnecessary, but I can see why she wrote them in. The Order needed to suffer losses and a large family has to lose someone, right?

The Epilogue was satisfying in the way that you knew what happened to the central characters - the best that was suspected all along.

Closing the book, it was 11:30pm by the clock. I felt weepy as I realized this was, again, the last adventure at Hogwarts....maybe EVER. Knowing what became of the characters was all well and good, but now I had nothing to look forward to at Hogwarts... or the Burrow.... or Grimmauld Place with Kreacher.

With everything tied up in a neat and tidy bow, I effectively felt left out as I looked inside the crystal ball and realized this was it. A happy exit for those who lived and thrived after Voldemort was destroyed.

I'm still stunned at the amount of reading and the auto comprehension I put my brain through yesterday; from 2:30pm until 4pm and then again from 5:30pm to 11:30pm. But of course, it was entirely worth it. And one day, when I'm not so emotional, I will read it again and hope to enjoy the epilogue more.

I can only wonder how Book 6 and 7 will fare under a screenwriter's script. Book 7 is full of so many places and so many close-calls. There's no telling how they'll be able to fit it all into a 2 and 1/2 hour movie. Maybe they'll make a 6 hour movie, released in two parts to combine Book 6 and 7. Hmm....

Getting My Book

2007-07-22T11:22:00.001-04:00

I didn't think I was even going to get my DH copy on time - due to my issue with putting the wrong address down, my amazon order went to Kathleen & Charlie's, and yes, I tried to change it with amazon and they suck because they told me no (about a week to go before it shipped!).

So... I resigned myself to the fact that Kathleen would get the first book I ordered. I started checking around the internet. Walmart had a 97 cent shipping special where the website said the book would arrive on or around the 21st. That tempted me. I checked out Barnes and Noble. They could do overnight shipping guaranteed for $15 galleons. Guaranteed. Hmmm.

I put in my order with B&N and waited. I got an email from them the next day saying that oh by the way, they didn't have enough copies due to high demand and they would try to get me a book of DH in the next 30 days. It wouldn't let me cancel my order online their website so I called them, furious! I got Cathy from Customer Service on the line and explained my issue. She and a supervisor checked my order and it'd already been PACKED! *whew! WTF??* They told me I should be getting my confirmation shipping email the following day.

Lo and behold... I got the email. And hit refresh every half hour on the tracking information. Dave giggled at me and sent me this cartoon:

Saturday morning dawned clear and bright. About 10 minutes after waking up, I was rushing downstairs to Dave's laughter. I opened the door to a smirking FedEx guy holding my BOOK!
"Harry Potter, eh?" He grinned at the Do Not Open until July 21st" label as I mumbled something unintelligible and nearly snatched the package from his hands, closing the door practically in his face.

I calmed my racing heart and turned off my mind. Breakfast. Must eat.

I made sure to spend some measure of time with Alli and Dave... meals count, don't they?

And then...around 2:30, Alli gave me permission to start cracking open the book.

Updates

2007-07-14T21:48:00.000-04:00

Okay.... so Kathleen has found out she is currently not prego. She is okay with it for now and knows that ovulating is 99% of the battle... and the Femara is doing it's job! :)

We went and saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

One word: AWESOME!

Faithful to the book, it was fantastic. SEE IT NOW. YOU MUST SEE IT!

And then....

We made another major purchase ladies and gentleman.... Drum roll, please....

A Sleep Number bed! Yep, we went today to the store in Ridgedale Mall and we got our sleep numbers (Dave is a 45- 50, and I'm a 45- 55). It was kinda wierd laying on the bed that probably so many other people have slept on. It gave me the willies a bit... but they gave us our own pillow towels to gently place on the pillows so my freshly washed hair wouldn't get cootified.

In the next two weeks we can expect to see our new sleep number bed. WAAAHOOOOOOOOO!!

And ..... Alli had her first real eye exam today - Dave and I had our own, too. Turns out those 'headacks' Alli's been mentioning are quite possibly real.

Dave didn't get new glasses... but it's a cute picture of them, eh? :)

Isn't she cute? She's so excited to have glasses!

Circle of Life

2007-07-04T22:14:00.000-04:00

So on Monday afternoon I got an email from Kathleen.

"OHMYGOD! I woke up this morning and I'm OVULATING! OHMYGOD I'm SHAKING!!"

I emailed her back with "I TOLD YOU SO! GET ON IT!!!"

She said that her and Charlie had been talking the night before, and they had kinda talked about how maybe her dad could give them a nudge in the right direction.... and then all the sudden, the next morning, to have her ovulating according to the Clear Blue Easy monitor.... Her mom, Linda definitely said it was a blessing, which it is.

So now, in the circle of life, where a death has occurred, so must a birth.

Believe me, we ALL needed to hear this good news, despite her saying earlier this month that she wouldn't tell anyone if she even ovulated. *l* We all just needed to know that good things can still happen.

So cross your fingers and toes. I'll start the baby blanket to get a head start. ;)

In Memory

2007-07-02T12:52:00.000-04:00

Grandma Linda, Grandpa Gary, and Alli (about a year and a half ago)

Man Dies In Boating Accident Near Lake Sturgeon

(WCCO) A man is dead after a fatal boating accident on
Island Lake near Sturgeon Lake, Minn. Wednesday.
The accident happened around 4:30 p.m.Gerhardt Pfeifer, 64, of
Sandstone, Minn. was attempting to get water out of a boat by pulling the plug
and driving rapidly around the lake.
Witnesses said Pfeifer was driving around in circles very fast,
hit a wave and was thrown into the water.
One witness got into a pontoon and went out to try to save
Pfeifer, but was unable to bring him up on the boat by himself. He held Pfeifer
above water until help arrived.Once on the pontoon, CPR was performed and
Pfeifer was brought to shore where an ambulance was waiting.
He was immediately transported to Mercy Hospital in Moose Lake
where he was pronounced dead.Pfeifer was not wearing a life jacket at the time
of the accident.

What they didn't tell you is that he was my best friend's dad and she and Charlie and his wife saw the whole thing happen. And that it was Charlie & Kathleen's boat that he flipped accidentally, causing him to fall out and drown. Because, despite his 20 some years in the military as a medic and then later as a Physicians Assistant, and later, his service at the Federal Correctional Institution and Duluth Camp, he didn't know how to swim.

If you know me, I've told you what happened. I've told you how I had the dubious honor of driving Linda, Kathleen, and her grandmother Margie in the very van that Gary had helped me pick out 5-6 months ago....never knowing that I would one day be driving behind the hearse that carried his body.

At one point, Kathleen asked how fast I was going. The hearse kept slowing down and speeding up as it followed the firetruck escorting us. Kathleen laughed and said it was just as Dad drove; he would never set the cruise.

I laughed and said "I don't know about you guys, but I think it'd be kinda rude to pass a hearse..." and Kathleen chimed in with "....and flip him off as you go!" So for a moment of time, giggles filled the van from all of us. And then we remembered why we were there.

Gary was what I imagined my dad would be if he was still around. He was a good man, a wonderful dad, and a fantastic grandfather. He and Linda always treated Alli and I as one of their own - and they still have. It was a long and harrowing weekend.

When Kathleen called she was hysterical and Dave couldn't get a word out. I called her from where I was, and then she passed the phone to Charlie who asked, "How soon can you get here?"

We drove up to Sandstone on Wednesday night and clustered with the other gathered peoples - family and some friends. Thursday was a blur. Friday was the wake, with the funeral on Saturday.

Alli cried. She wasn't scared by Gary's body in the casket. She was sad. She knew he'd never be around to play horsey with her and Dillon again, not tease her again about bugs, or be around to fix her bike tires and watch her play in the playhouse. No more Grandpa Gary.

Maybe I'll talk about this more later. Maybe I won't. I was there and present for the family all weekend. I think now is my time to finish grieving in private.

Good thing I'm getting a new lappy

2007-06-25T21:08:00.000-04:00

While Dave and I were debating ways to load a funny video of Alli to YouTube or wait, I decided to head downstairs and let him finish his technical ways to see if he could figure it out.

I came back like half an hour later and attempted to start up my computer. Lo and behold, I got a black screen of DEATH. AAAHHHHHH!!

Of course I turned and ran right to Dave.

"Honey! Honey! My lappy won't load up! What were you doing??"

He looks at me and tells me he just shut down the programs and gave up trying to load Alli's video. He has no clue why it won't even give me the welcome log-in screen.

After a few minutes of conversation I decide to go back downstairs and watch a movie and clean. He is deep in thought.

Two hours later I come back upstairs, ready for bed and he is STILL working on my laptop. Sweet, sweet Geek.

My sweet and loving geek stayed up until 2am to turn my laptop into Frankenstein and brought it back to life. He came to bed, I was barely awake; "honey, I saved your stuff!"

"Stuff" to me means that he just saved the last 7 years of digital files, pictures of my deceased sister, Andrea, Alli's life beginning at age 2.... so many wonderful memories. My sweet and loving man.

And so I say, after he brought it back to life and now has a back up system set for me to back up my lappy to a place on the web constantly unless I turn it off, it's a darn good thing he is who he is .... AND that I'm getting a new lappy. tee hee.

I Sneezed

2007-06-25T08:31:00.001-04:00

Sunday was hulaciously BUSY for me. I decided to tackle Alli's room to rearrange her furniture and give her more space to play on the floor if she wanted to. Her closet was a nightmare with Blue's Clues and Barbies all over the place, scattered with the occasional horse or horse accessory here and there.

I had just moved her bed from one wall to another, after vacuuming and cleaning our guinea pig, Chloe's, cage when I sneezed. I'd been waiting to head to the potty, but figured I could do it in a bit - after I moved her toys out of the closet.

I sneezed and I peed myself.

Now, take a minute, and hold your absolute horror. The last time I peed myself I was like 5 months pregnant and I was laughing so hard I peed down my leg.

Luckily, it wasn't a free flowing fountain this time, but it was enough for me to need new underwear AND new shorts. Yeah. Sad, eh?

I have to admit, when I told Dave the look on his face was priceless and we laughed together. I guess my muscles are weaker than I thought. Makes me think something's wrong with my body. Something *more* could be wrong, I mean. tee hee hee

This made me question myself the rest of the day. Heading to go to the bathroom...again.

Babies

2007-06-20T22:21:00.001-04:00

These days right now it seems like everyone I know knows someone who is pregnant or has just given birth....or is about to!

My best friend, Kathleen, and her husband Charlie have gone through multiple resources trying to get pregnant. Kathleen has PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) and has been steadily losing weight on her own for the last year in the hopes it would have a drastically good effect on her fertility.

This month, in precisely 10 days, she *should* begin to ovulate with the assistance of Femara.

And the bitch won't tell me if she does or doesn't ovulate until mid July. ARRRGHHHH! Seriously, I am THE WORST PERSON to wait for surprises!

According to one study she and I found online, nearly 3/4 of all women placed on Femara to encourage fertility conceive within 3 months and carry to term. Wow. Considering this is the first real infertility medication that her new doc has prescribed, I'm astounded and can't WAIT for the outcome! :) As I keep telling her, now that she has a doc that will actually listen to her and work with her on how to conceive, this medication is just the first step in a long line of many that she can try before ever having to touch artificial insemination or in vitro.

So everyone... cross your fingers and toes for Kas & Charlie. They've been married 6 years and trying that entire time. If anyone would be awesome parents it'd be them for sure!

And speaking of my own baby front.... Yeah? See that ticker up there? It says 2 months. Really, it's fibbing a bit. I decided to go with 6 cycles - because by the end of the 6th cycle I have a doc appt with my Hematologist, Dr. Weinshel, and he can give me the all clear-go ahead when I see him July 19th (I think!). Yay.

The other night Kathleen and I were kidding around... imagining having a wedding with both the bride - myself - and the matron attendant - Kathleen - totally prego and with bellies out a foot from our bodies. We laughed ourselves silly. Then I told her that it would serve me right if she delivered on the day of our celebration - just like I was in the hospital having Alli when I was supposed to be her Matron of Honor when they got married. *L* Luckily, our friend Megan stepped up and they quickly altered the hulacious gown for her small stick figure for the wedding instead. Sigh. Always a bride and never a Matron.

Weekend of Joy and Pain

2007-06-11T22:18:00.000-04:00

Friday night, Beckah came over to hang out and make deeeeelicious pizza burgers. Definitely a keeper of a recipe! We proceeded to gossip until our eyelids grew heavy and we gave up the fight with the Sandman (around 11:30pm). I know. We're sad and pathetic.

Saturday morning I woke up bright and early, packed up Alli and our wonderful Candy Land treats that Miss Beckah has been so sweet to pick up when she drives through St. Paul. Their all-nut bridge mix is my biggest downfall...so far. And they have these cool, sweet-tart like blocks that look like Legos(!!) of all things and get this: they actually DO lock together. A little frosting between the blocks and viola! One awesome, edible decoration. Hmmmm...something to think about.

Anyways, we headed out to Hinckley to meet Charlie and Kathleen to see Pirates 3.
If you get the chance. SEE IT. It's cute - even though it made me cry. SERIOUSLY. And please, WAIT until after all the credits to see what happens "TEN YEARS LATER...". It was bittersweet. But I have to say, because of the last shot of Orlando Bloom, I now think he's kinda cute...of course not as cute as my Dave...but really, it's not like there's any comparison there. ;)

After the movie, having stuffed ourselves with popcorn and candy, we decided to head back to Kathleen & Charlie's house and begin the garden. Oh boy. Muscles I didn't know I had ache! I'm either waddling like a duck or walking like a zombie to compensate for the shooting pain into my legs and behind my thighs. Apparently I need to do more hard labor; walking on the treadmill doesn't make me feel like this!

We of course ended up making the obligatory Wallyworld run around 9pm Saturday and spent far too much time in there looking for things that Alli needs for her summer daycare. Waterproof bag, reusable lunch box - preferred insulated, the cooler blocks, towels for days they spend at the pool....

The next morning was Sunday. We were scheduled to meet with Sue, one of the owners of the Country Garden Retreat at 11:30am.

Kathleen, Alli, and I made it to the location by 11:27am. And waited. And waited some more.
I ended up calling Dave after 10 minutes of sitting there and wandering outside in the beautiful porch/deck areas around the house to get the phone number. Then I called.

Ring Ring....

Voice: Thank you for calling the Dakota Lodge. How may I help you?

Me: Hi, is Sue available?

Sue: This is Sue.

Me: Hi Sue! This is Witchy Andrews....
Sue: Hi Witchy.... OH CRAP! I'm SO SORRY! You're there at the house! OHMYGOD! I'll be there in 10 minutes!

And then she hung up the phone. Kas and I laughed so hard. This poor woman, who had to 'ave been so busy this weekend because of the MS Bikethon was so harried and just stretched so thin.

Never fear dear reader: Sue was a wonderful guide and apologized profusely while we toured the inside of the house. So many bedrooms and other rooms... incredible lighting and deck space. Just a beautiful, wonderful house. I gave her $500 for the deposit, even though they only ask for $250 - just so we can start paying down on the nearly $2k location fee. But it's SO totally WORTH it.

I have to say, we were cracking up. Alli kept going around and sniffing the closets.
When we had visited Schwyzer Lodge at the Audubon Center, she had talked about how they had "stinky closets" and asked if this place had more stinky closets -- to which we responded "no"...but she kept opening doors and sniffing inside them! She was proud to report to Sue that they had "no stinky closets!"

So we are officially getting hitched as of November 1st, 2008. Rehearsal dinner and Halloween Party will be held the night before on Friday October 31st. Convenient, huh? Party and candy one night, party, candy, and cake with alcohol the next night.... we've got it all planned. And what with 20 beds available at the retreat, anyone too drunk will still be hoofing it back to their own hotel room, but the other, more responsible members of the party and friends may stay at the retreat. Yes, that's me sticking my nose up in the air. I'm going to be hoity toity when I think of the possibilities of people puking on the carpet. *L*

I have a ton more pictures of the inside of the house, but it's mostly bedrooms and bathrooms - pretty much to show Dave how many bathrooms their are, and how I checked the toilets to make sure they were clean. (And yes you can DRINK this water. Neat trick, huh? No, no, no! You purposely misunderstood me... I didn't mean you could drink the toilet water. Just the tap water, in general. And it doesn't smell! Yay!)

I am now going to bed. Forsooth I am tired. No, I have no idea where that word came from. Leave me alone. I'm going to bed. :p

Hopes and Dreams

2007-06-06T20:59:00.000-04:00

I've had my share of hopes and potential dreams being dashed. I'm certainly no stranger to disappointment.

However, I was absolutely CRUSHED when Dave, Alli, Kathleen, and Kathleen's mom Linda went with me to Schwyzer Lodge and we saw up close and personal what it was like.

The outside is well kept and charming in a rustic way - just what we wanted. The grounds themselves, not so much.

Rotted logs that had once been used as camp 'chairs' for the visitors sat on the side of the house, while more rotted picnic tables were available for use a bit further down the side. No room for a tent. And the mosquitoes. Have I told you how they loved us?

From the first opening of the door, the musty, damp smell assailed me and made me want to vomit for a second. Then I took a deep breath and thought of candles. Lots and lots of scented candles and opening all the windows to let them air out for a very VERY long time. I was giving myself a pep talk in my head, "I can do this! WE can do this!" as I would glance furtively over at Dave every so often to try and catch his expression.

The downstairs was fine - just smelly. Nice large living room and dining room, and three season porch. We could have worked with that. The kitchen was clean, but small, the bathroom generally clean and a nice big shower with a fold down corner seat. I was all OVER that.

Then we toured upstairs.

No lights in the main entry. The three showers upstairs are DISGUSTING. There was some serious orange shite on the bottom of the stall showers. Rust? Residue of some kind? Who knows. I do remember seeing a sign that went on talking about how the water was fine to wash with, bathe in, but please don't drink... oh yeah, and don't mind the smell.

Smell? Smell?! Water isn't supposed to have a smell!

The bunk beds were another joke on me. Dave and Kathleen barely touched one set of them and they WIGGLED so bad I thought they were going to dismantle right then and there! Cobwebs were abundant in the dark rooms of the dorms. A singular fan sat by it's lonesome on a 60's table. A mattress was missing from the top of one of the bunk beds.

It's the creature comforts I can't give up, ya know? Like a MATTRESS.

So, so, SO disappointing. So disappointing I haven't posted pics. It's just too depressing.

The one bright spot in the tour is the lady who showed us the Lodge, Sandy, let us know that while she wasn't trying to dissuade us, if we wanted something a bit newer, we could always check out the Country Garden Retreat just down the road a few miles.

We all looked at one another, thanked Sandy, and off to Hinckley we jaunted.

Country Garden Retreat is a hundred times BETTER than Schwyzer - even if you're just looking at the pictures on the website alone. It's amazing! Dave and I recalculated. It would be $600 more than Schwyzer, sleep more people, and is a much newer building with manicured lawns and enormous space. Dude, we were sold.

I've been in contact with the proprietors Sue and Steve and will be meeting them on Sunday at 11:30 to view the site. Cross your fingers and toes for us. I don't think I could handle getting let down again after falling in love with a location.

Engagement... Ring? Laptop? PDA?

2007-05-29T22:16:00.001-04:00

As Dave has seen the exchange rate from US to Ireland hit the toilet and circle the bowl a few times, he has been having second thoughts about my engagement ring. It's now more than $2k US dollars just for the ring, alone. It was around $1400 about 6 months ago, but did he buy it then? NoOOOooOOOooooo... of course not.

About 3 weeks ago, I killed the 6 year old PDA that Dave had given me for my eBooks. Have I mentioned lately how much I love eBooks? You pay $5.99 more or less, and you can download the newest bestseller using Mobipocket (LOVE!) and read it the same day without leaving the comfort of your home, or ordering the physical book online and then paying for shipping&handling. That's just annoying. When I order a book, I want to read it NOW.

I was packing up the PDA to take it home and it seriously just slipped from my hands and it's protective case and slammed to the floor, hitting the metal foot under my work desk. Ow. I knew it wasn't going to be pretty. Sure enough, the screen was sliced diagonally in half. I brought it home, depressed, distressed, and wholly miserable and sorry. Kindly enough, Dave was glad I was okay - apparently the liquid inside the LCD screen is poisonous and could have leaked out. Ew.

So since then, I've been PDA-less.

Yesterday he brought up the idea of possibly getting me a lesser engagement sparkly ring and also giving me a tricked out PDA. I seriously considered it. If they can engrave the words "Will you marry me?" on it, why the heck not? I took the old one everywhere with me... so I'm certain the new one would follow me, too. What a way to announce you're engaged, eh.

Tonight it was the "Honey, we could always get you a brand new lappy...." line. Now that has me in it's grips, too. I would SO LOVE a new laptop - something less heavy, and with more memory that doesn't freak out on me every time I try to play something from YouTube on here. Again, I told him I would still require a small sparkly ring with the tricked out laptop. And again, the laptop would have to have the words "Will you marry me?" engraved on it somewhere noticeable. Talk about a technology heirloom.

The fact that I would consider any of the items and down grade my ring should speak volumes.

We are geeks.

I think....

2007-05-29T21:58:00.000-04:00

We may have found our officiant.

Since Dave and I are not active members of any coven(s), and preferred to be solitary eclectic as unattached people, we wondered who would be able to officiate at our ceremony who would possibly understand where we were at in our lives.

Recently, we've been discussing going to services at the Lake Harriet Spiritual Community Center (hey, any place that has a Psychic Fair has got to be down wi' da Wiccans), not only for us and our growth, but also so Alli can experience other children in families just like ours. It's something we'll be looking into further.

Anyways, I had emailed a few different officiants last week to see if anyone would respond - including the current officiant for Lake Harriet. Nothing. Not a peep nor a phone call.

Monday morning at about 2am I sent a message on one officiant's web page requesting consultation information, giving Dave's and my spiritual path; thinking "Heck, it's probably another dead end."

Lo and behold, Reverend Leslie contacted me back with:

"Dear Dave & Witchy,

Greetings! Thank you for contacting me about your ceremony, and congratulations! It is always an honor for me when people of kindred spirituality allow me to assist in creating their celebration. I would love to hear what you have in mind as far as a variation on handfasting. Let's talk soon...I have some nice material that I have written for other Wiccan and Druidic ceremonies and I would love to share ideas. November 1st...how exciting!

As far as the Tarot readings for your guests, this added invitation makes your email to me twice as sweet. I love the tarot. The cost for having me there would depend on what sort of readings you are interested in and how many of your friends & family you think would want a reading. I find it difficult to do any sort of real reading in less than twenty minutes. I have on a few occasions done very short "mini-readings" which are,of necessity, more light and entertaining (usually for fundraising festivals). So if you want to offer people a serious reading it might just come down to time...I would be able to read for three people maximum each hour, so for half of your guests it would take seven hours.

It may be easier to discuss these ideas live!
Will you give me a call? I look forward to hearing from you!
Leslie (XXX)XXX-XXXX"

Okay, now seriously, how warm and welcoming is THAT to open in your email inbox??

I just responded back to her about an hour ago letting her know our story, and giving some other information, asking when was a good time to call her. I hate feeling like I'm intruding on a person when I call after 7pm. Especially one you'd like to hire.

I'm sure she'll mail back soon... I would love to have her do mini-readings for those who would like one. Now all I need is a psychic and/or mayhaps a palm reader.

I know, I know. We're not all that normal. Who cares. :)

Wedding/Handfasting Update

2007-05-28T20:23:00.000-04:00

As some of you who read my blog know, I have found the place that I think we should unite. It's a nice little lodge/house situated off the Audubon Preservation Center between Sandstone and Hinckley, MN.

Good ol' Schwyzer Lodge.

To quote:

"Schwyzer Lodge

The historic Schwyzer Lodge is available for rental for your seasonal family fun. Situated on the shores of Grindstone Lake, this beautiful, charming lodge is an ideal property for a quiet getaway for family and friends. The Lodge has four bedrooms and can sleep up to 14 people. A fully equipped kitchen, fireplace in the living room, three bathrooms and a large screened porch facing the lake make up some of the amenities of this secluded retreat. Plus, you have access to over 530 acres of Wildlife Sanctuary."

I don't know...I just saw it online, and it felt right. I can't wait to see it in person this coming weekend.

Yep. Dave is even going to take some time off this weekend to go and see it with us. Of course I've asked Kathleen and Charlie to come along too - Kathleen is one of the attendants to call quarters for us.

I also asked Beckah if she would so honor us to call quarter; I would love to have my brother Alex call a third quarter, but well...we'll see if our parents will allow him. That leaves a fourth quarter personless. Hm.

Josh, my buddy from work who has a partner with him in a catering business, suggested that he, his girlfriend, Janan his partner, myself and Dave all sit down to dinner and hammer out some details for the cuisine. Dave and I are thinking hearty, down to earth food - lamb stew, veggie stew, artesian breads & cheeses,and possibly a roast for the main meal with the typical vegetable accoutrement, followed by....cake.

Now, the cake has been interesting. When Beckah came over to visit Friday night, Dave and I finally hammered out what we *think* we want. Waning, Full, and waxing moons. The two half moons will be two layer chocolate cake with strawberry filling? Maybe? While the full moon we'd like to be three layers: top layer vanilla, followed by pumpkin butter filling, then spice cake layer, more pumpkin butter, and another layer of vanilla cake. Butter cream frosting as an allover? Yum.

The groom's cake will be shaped like a jack o'lantern and we'd discussed it being carrot cake (without raisins) and cream cheese frosting. Mmmmmmmm....

We shall see. There's just an incredible amount of work to yet go into this. I don't think the planning will seem real until we start paying for things... when money disappears out of your pocket, then things become MUCH more real.

I still haven't had much luck with the gown portion, or what the attendants will wear. I'm not too concerned at the moment. Kathleen might be pregnant or just have had a little one by November 2008 (Gods willing!). I might be in the same boat myself (also, Gods willing!) and would rather wait a bit to see what is going on closer to the wedding.

Mind you, when I was prego with Alli, I didn't gain a pound of fat. But when she was born, I lost 20 in water weight I didn't know I had!

Magick Points

2007-05-28T20:10:00.000-04:00

Dave and I have implemented a system where Alli can earn "Magick Points" - it's basically trying to teach herself self-control, and internal checks and balances.
He's taught her breathing techniques to help her curb her attitude and the yelling that's been happening for the past few months that we were at a loss as to how to deal with it. It's been working, somewhat.

Each time Alli can tell us how she used her "magick" to calm herself, help someone out, etc, she earns a point towards a real magick lesson - a small ritual, a lesson on a few herbs, time spent casting and explaining a simple spell (a protection spell would be the first one we should be teaching her).

So far, she has earned and lost, and is currently at zero.

Eventually she will have to learn some self control if she wants to learn what we have to teach....

One can only hope!

And I will say this, for all that I don't discuss rituals and BoS information, I tend to be quite private in my practicing of the Craft. I am more than willing to share information with people face to face, but simply posting it online in a blog, I consider to be most reckless. Spells are spells are spells. All magick should be taught and created with great discretion and safety. So you will not find much in the way of me giving out spells and chants to raise the cone of power in this blog. Just a side note.

Some days, I wonder

2007-05-13T16:33:00.000-04:00

And I'm sure you do, too - why I'm marrying Dave - especially after that last post. Peeing in the sink. Sheesh!

Trust me, he really IS housebroken. You have my word on that.

My nerd is a geek of the highest order. He moved halfway across the country to be with Alli and I, knowing it would be easier for him to move to a telecommute position, than it would be for me to up and leave here and try to find work and affordable daycare in DC. He worships the ground I walk upon - most of the time - and he can be the sweetest man alive (except when he sneaks upstairs and scares the SHITE out of me while I'm doing laundry), and he loves spending time with us. He is the reason Alli will probably grow up and become a scientist after their numerous experiments they've had with dry ice, and the planting/potting that took place yesterday. He teaches her things I could never think to....

But the real reason I love him is his quirks. The way he thinks about things - his thought processes boggle my mind because his brain never seems to sleep. Seriously, he codes in his dreams! But when he is single-minded and focused just on me, or our family, it makes it all worth it. By "all" I mean: All the weekends he has worked, all the hours he has had to eat while fixing code he broke, and trying to help, but not quite knowing what to do and then making a problem bigger. Typical male, that.

Sure, he hasn't remembered to pack my lunch on a consistent basis for the last few weeks, but he's had code and the conference on his mind. He's been right grumpy lately, too while playing catch-up constantly. But when he heads to bed with me and holds me, it makes almost everything all right.

So yep. Mark the calendars.Circle the last week of October and the first week of November. We still haven't narrowed an actual date down yet. I'm hoping that will come with the ring. We've picked caterer (shout out to Josh & Janan!), still searching for a good reception and ceremony location, still need to find a dress, and figure out what the hell kind of theme we're really going for. Piece of cake, eh? Ahhh crappies. We still have to figure out the cake, too. Flowers. Other dresses. Officiant. Does the list ever end? Thank the Gods we have a little less than 18 months left to plan.

Hot Fuzz and other tales

2007-05-13T15:30:00.000-04:00

Dave and I have 4 bathrooms.

One on the main level, two upstairs, and one in the family room in the basement. Remember this. It comes in handy later.

Last night, in anticipation of Mother's Day and me kinda bugging him for a 'date night' movie, he was able to find "Hot Fuzz".

First off, if you liked "Shaun of the Dead" (based off American zombie films), you'll love "Hot Fuzz" (based off American cop-buddy movies like "Bad Boys") - same quirky, slapstick Brit humor that caricatures American movies perfectly. We loved it - two thumbs up!

Around 2am, we've finished "Hot Fuzz" and are onto "The Prestige" (which I have to tell you, I thought it was pretty stupid - seriously, magicians.... excuse me, ILLUSIONISTS, out for revenge against one another, and it turns out at the end Illusionist A actually has a twin that you've never heard tell of the entire movie and that's how he does impossible tricks).

Well, I really have to pee and I head to the bathroom and tell Dave to keep the movie rolling because I know what's going to happen - the wife is going to drown during a water chamber escape sequence (which sets up the vengeance scenario). He stops the movie anyways and says he has to pee so bad, I'd better hurry up.

I tell him, "Go on! We've got 3 other bathrooms and a sink in this one!"

He comes back with "Don't you dare me...."

Keep in mind, we are both tired, a bit cocky, and I'm a tad cranky right now with my period and all... "I dare you to pee in the sink!" flies out of my mouth.

I laugh nervously and he looks at me, and proceeds to cross to the sink and pee in it.

I don't think I've been so shocked at him about anything as I was last night. Seriously, who pees in a sink???? Walk the 50 feet upstairs to the other bathroom and go!!

Ugh. I made him clean up his mess - yes, the area has been sanitized.
And then I told him I would have to blog about it.

Never dare your mate after midnight to do anything. They just might follow through. Oy.

What have I been up to?

2007-05-12T15:06:00.000-04:00

Dave made it to his Minneapolis-based web developers conference "CF: Objective"; at which he had such a blast it's scary. It ran the dates of May 3th-6th. Kathleen came from Sandstone to help with getting Alli off the school and picking her up from the bus. It was good to see her and I know Alli loved having Aunty Kathleen around. :)

Seriously, the first night at Sofitel (Thursday), I called him after midnight and he was half in the bag. Funny. He never drinks at home....
The second day (Friday) that I talked to him, he told me he was hanging out with a bunch of old, married web developers for the most part, and was in Nerd Heaven. (Let me take this chance to thank Jared, apparently the main organizer, at CF: Objective--- Thank you for keeping him safe and sound, and letting him hang around other nerds just as cool as you. :))

Saturday, I went shopping to a bunch of new age shops with Beckah (we missed you Jenn!) and Alli, who had a great time. Costco came first, and then the delicious Little Oven. Yum! Stonehenge, Eye of Horus, and Evenstar were quite nice little shops. We are planning an extended treasure hunt in June/July for additional shops...

Work is work is work. I seem to be inundated lately with requests that are time consuming and quite repetitive. I am still waiting to hear about one of the other positions I applied for. It would have been nice to know by this Friday like the supervisor has promised, but for the grace of the Gods go I... sigh.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This weekend I am experimenting with food. Friday night Jenn and Beckah came over (Alli was a terror while Jenn attempted to teach her the names of the strings. Oy.

I attempted to make red rice with chicken - arroz con pollo. Most of it came out good, but the rice on the very bottom was a bit crunchy. I suppose as long as everyone lived past the rice and chicken, it's all good. A really yummy fruit salad was our dessert...

And then... they went home and I passed out.

Alli and I were going to Sandstone but I just didn't feel like driving an hour and a half. Tired, crabby, crampy...yuck. Ladies, we've all been there I'm sure. No one wants to move when they feel like every motion could cause a flood in your lower region. *cringes*

Saturday we hit Target though and finally picked up some more potting soil and pots to plant various seedlings Alli has brought home from school.

As a family we tilled the soil in the pots, re-potted Alli's tree she received from school for Arbor Day, planted some sweet pea seeds, and some other things. Dave really got into it and is now putting out terrarium style bags with tomato seeds and chili seeds in them in hope they will sprout for us to plant.

This is why we need a place with land. Our balcony can only cut it for so long with plastic pots and window planters. We do have green thumbs and would like to plant and nurture things to watch them grow. No matter how entrenched in technology that he and I may seem to be, we do have that nurturing spirit we would like to pass onto our children. One thing is certain; we will be having our own garden wherever we may buy a house. I will demand it. :)

I'm good at taking tests

2007-04-24T23:53:00.000-04:00

Did I tell you dear reader that Dave shaved on Saturday?

No, no, not just a simple trim here and there; he shaved his ENTIRE beard/goatee/fumanchu and mustache OFF.

We're talking gone. No more facial hair.

He had tried to explain to me that when he was working years ago, co-workers used to call him 'baby Dave' because without facial hair, he looked so young. I pooh-poohed him and dared him basically to shave it all off.

HOLY SH&*%&%*$!!!

Mind you, he's MY man and I love him and think he's hot, while other people look at me strangely. Without his facial hair he not only looks younger but I think he's *MAJOR HOT* in MY book. *L*

Seriously, I couldn't look at him straight for more than half a day. The first kiss between us, without him having the beard... was weird. It felt like I was cheating on Dave with.... Dave. He joked, saying "Ahh..we'll have to come up with who's name you call out later, baby." and wiggled his eyebrows at me. I just about fainted. *L*

So we had a nice, physical weekend beginning on Sunday because we couldn't very well be physical at Kathleen & Charlie's house - that's just rude for visitors to fool around in their host's house, in my humble opinion.

Needless to say, Dave & I have been exhausted. hee hee hee.

Well, tonight he tells me grudgingly that I passed the test.

The test for what? I ask him.

He stops and says he doesn't know if he should tell me and I have to promise not to get upset with him and to not take it the wrong way.

I agree, all the while thinking in the back of my head that I messed something up, or he's going to tell me that I have a larger ass than Mercury... it could be anything.

He goes on to tell me that his two previous girlfriends FREAKED OUT when he shaved his beard. As in they told him they hated it and for him to NEVER do it again.

And here I am, LOVING it and thinking he's the hottest thing to rock my world in ever, without the facial hair. No wonder his ego .... and other parts... felt larger this weekend!

Dave is a garbage picker

2007-04-22T23:33:00.000-04:00

There was a potluck last Wednesday.

It was decided that I would make granola bars and some No Pudge Fudge Brownies.

Granola bars were made and cooked without issue.

No Pudge Fudge Brownies were in the oven whilst I was working on my parent's website, sitting in Dave's office with him and he was working while listening to music.

I had set the timer.

But I never heard it.

I cremated the No Pudge Fudge Brownies at approximately 8:40 pm on Tuesday night. I was quite PO'ed and felt Dave should have lowered his music. As I quick took them out of the oven, with the scent of misery and burnt fudge dreams in the air, I decided to quickly scrape the pan of what I could and soak it before they hardened up. This I did, and put the charred remains into a piece of random foil and threw it away in the garbage.

Keep in mind, burnt beyond recognition; will taste awful and ashy. In short, nothing good will come of it.

Dave rummages through the kitchen after I've yelled at him for having his music too loud and it burning the brownies. He wonders where I've put them. I tell him they are ruined and are in the garbage.

What does he do?

He goes into the garbage to CHECK.

Secondly, he takes the foil pouch containing the charred remnants OUT of the GARBAGE and starts to check it out, proceeding to EAT part of IT!!!

Men. Boys. Fools. Let's just feed them from the garbage cans from now on I guess. It might save on money.

Ew.

Muffins the Size of a Small Child's Head

2007-04-22T22:46:00.000-04:00

My birthday is the 6th. Alli's birthday was Wednesday the 18th; Kathleen's on the 19th, and Kathleen & Charlie's anniversary on the 21st. Oy!

On Wednesday I took a half day off from work to take muffins into Alli's classroom to celebrate her birthday.

They honestly didn't look as big online as they are in reality.
Believe me. I was so frackin' nervous about taking in muffins to 22 kindergartners that I'd never even see, let alone met. I knew cupcakes were expected...or cookies.

To prevent problems I emailed the teacher who said muffins sounded like a wonderful idea. I still couldn't shake the feeling that the muffins might cause a birthday muffin mutiny that would go down in history. It was possible. These kids were capable of anything, in my mind.

Luckily, the kids were WOWed, simply because of the size of the muffins, it was all a success.

Remember when you were little? It was the sheer SIZE of something that got your attention, right? Yeah, well these muffins did the trick. Eighteen chocolate chip, eighteen lemon poppyseed (no, I didn't mention drug testing jokes), and eighteen blueberry. Of course, the chocolate chip went first, and when all was said and done, I only ended up taking 12 muffins home.

Alli had a great time handing them out to her peers though, and their rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday" shows how old I am. They've totally messed with the classic "you look like a monkey, and you smell like one, too" ending.

Happy Birthday to you
Cha Cha Cha
Happy Birthday to you
Cha Cha Cha
Happy Birthday dear Alli
Cha Cha Cha
Happy Birthday to you
HI YA KUNG FU,
WE LOVE YOU PIKACHU!

Yikes.

And of course, when she came home she opened her now much loved Legos Princess Belville stables set, her Littlest Pet Shop monkey 'tomagotchi', and other presents.

On Thursday, April 19th was Kathleen's 28th birthday. We decided to have a joint birthday party on Saturday the 21st, like our tradition has become where her family comes over to her house and we all have dinner and yummy, yummy ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. Who can resist?
I had the ABSOLUTE best Wild Rice soup- EVER that Kathleen made along with some wonderfully fragrant bread. Fresh. NICE.

More Littlest Pet Shop gifts later, and a trip to Wal-Mart (don't say it, PLEASE don't say it lol), we went over to visit my folks on Sunday.

I know I mentioned this before, but I am helping my parents set up their e-commerce site online through Sam's Club for their "Mama's Salsa". Truly awesome salsa. No, I'm not linking to it...yet. It's not even halfway done. Dave is assisting in some key elements - like my lack of knowledge with Corel Paint X and PhotoShop in general. So on Sunday we took some good pictures to play with. Got some real cute ones of my younger brother, Alex, eating chips and salsa with Alli as the "Quality Control" picture.

Cute little buggers, huh? My brother Alex and my daughter Alli are the 'beautiful people' in the family. So why not use them. And so now, after another eventful weekend, I try to gather resources and put their salsa website together. Wish me luck... and Dave luck for not killing me as I interrupt him every 15 minutes. hee hee hee. ;)

Oops Update

2007-04-22T22:40:00.000-04:00

Ha!

Good news: On Monday April 16th at about 2pm the Period Fairy came to visit. She stayed for several days. For this, I am grateful. My doctors would have seriously killed me. I would have maimed myself at the very least. No successful baby-making until I've had 3 more cycles.

And... more good news. We got Dave's chromosomal tests back from Methodist Hospital. He has ALL normal chromosomes! YAY! This means that there's really no reason why we can't have a normal baby with 1 head, 10 fingers, 12 toes... wait...? what?? There's only supposed to be 10 fingers and 10 toes??

Alli... let me count those again.... ;)

even my eye lashes are exhausted

2007-04-15T23:18:00.000-04:00

We had a long, fun, interesting weekend where I played tech support to my second parents, Gary & Linda who are Kathleen's dad and mom that have known me since middle school when we moved to Sandstone. I also played computer support for my parents (no, really, don't ask; it involves helping them complete their website and them having malware on their PC). And then we have Kathleen who bought a 5.1 speaker set up and we realized no, she doesn't have a 5.1 soundcard. Oy. My aching head. *L*

Some highlights from the past few days:

I sat down and had a frank talk with Linda about 'the planning' - and if I haven't mentioned it, Dave and I have started looking into what options we have for our Wiccan/Pagan ceremony and any kind of reception. Mind you, there's no ring yet and no, I'm not bitter. It'll happen when least expected. Or he'll forget and remember at the last minute before we actually get married to actually ASK ME and present the shiny bauble.

Anyways, I explained to Linda about how Dave and I are not Christians... which, she kind of blanked for a second and asked what we believed in. I gave her the version of "We're pagan" to forestall any further questions. Sometimes, you just don't want to use the "W" word because, inevitably, it leads to those lovely cliched questions like "Do you worship the Devil?" And I get tired of sighing deeply and gathering my patience to say, "NO! The Devil is a Christian invention!!! HONEST!!"

I can almost guarantee that 95% of the people who will attend the 'reception' will have no clue what we believe in, only thinking that Dave and I are somewhat eccentric. Funny stuff, that.

My Birthday

2007-04-06T22:35:00.000-04:00

I turned 28 today - this evening, if memory serves, at about 6:50pm.

I don't really feel any older at this moment than I did this morning. Over the years I've learned not to expect too much. I mean, it's not like I woke up this morning to streamers and balloons and a massive rheumatoid arthritis flare up. *L*

No. I woke up, greeted the morning with a smile as I listened to Dave snoring so loud he shook the bed. Then I got dressed as usual, knowing that I only had to work a half day. Sheer joy.

One of the gals at work made me a yummy-licious chocolate cake with rainbow sprinkles. I made sure that someone else cut it as I'm still recovering from a small cold/flu that hit me up last week and didn't want to contaminate the cake today. Other friends at work brought over helium balloons and put more goodies in my easter bucket, and even brought me a present or two. Sweet, sweet people! Thank you ladies! ;)

I came home around noon, grabbed Alli and we returned to work as 'visitors' so Alli could have her yearly visit with the people I work with and act all shy and retiring. Wouldn't you know I couldn't make her stop talking all the way home. lol

Dave of course told me that in addition to the Doc Martens shoes he bought for me, he had something else. The something else turned out to be a BEAUTIFUL Birthday Wreath from Calyx & Corolla
which happens to be affiliated with the Vermont Teddy Bear Co. While I didn't get a VT teddy bear for my birthday (which I'm good with), he did get another beautiful red box with gourmet chocolates. Yum. No, no, DOUBLE Yum.

Dinner tonight was a fabulous feast from a new local Chinese delivery place. Highly impressed with the packaging AND we got free doughnuts from them! Later came the chocolate cake... yummmmm... and the chocolate chunk frozen yogurt. *wistful sigh* Would that my belly could hold any more chocolatey goodness, for I am fit to burst!

After speaking with friends and some family, I am ready for bed. I have to say, I was quite surprised; my grandmother who lives in Hawaii and is pushing late 80's actually sent me her yearly birthday greetings... in EMAIL. Yes, my grandmother is extremely special. What can I say? *L*

So we open up another year... a year to be older. A year to become wiser. A year to build better friendships, and repair old relationships with previous friends and family members. A year for hope. :)

Oops

2007-04-03T23:13:00.000-04:00

Honey,

Remember the "No Glove, No Love" policy we instituted along with the famous "Rhythm Method"?

If you're reading this, we may have had an oops on April Fool's Day. It was 13 days into my cycle.

And that's no joke! *L*

Things I Don't Assume

2007-04-03T23:06:00.000-04:00

After talking with Matt about Dave adopting Alli, I realized that it's something that Dave and I have never really talked about. I know why I've never brought it up - I didn't want him to feel pressured into doing something he really didn't want to. Although I know Dave loves Alli, right now, another man is footing the child support bill.

I went to talk to Dave in his office after dinner and asked him,"I know we've never talked about it, but DO you want to adopt Alli?" I hastened to add,"You don't have to if you don't want to."

Dave cocked his head to the side and looked at me, asking guilessly,"Why wouldn't I want to adopt her? I'm Daddy to her now, might as well go all the way." He smiled and laughed at me a bit.

I was just kind of floored.

He responded additionally with,"There was never any question that I would adopt her in my mind."

So... apparently, he's already decided he'll be adopting Alli if Matt agrees to it.

Some days, Dave just melts my heart.

The Longer Version (for Beckah)

2007-04-03T22:24:00.000-04:00

I got a call from my tax lady, Elyse. My taxes were rejected for e-filing because basically, Matt tried to claim Alli as HIS dependent. (Sure, sure, and PIGS will fly out of his ASS!)

Upset and ticked beyond all belief, I saw the chunky refund check we'd be getting now floating away....beyond my grasp... and thought about the $1800 her daycare is going to cost this summer, the clothes she needs, the new shoes I've been looking for for her...

I called Matt up and left a very calm and civil message on his voice mail after scrounging through old emails for his phone number. (Mind you, he still lives at home, at age 30 with his mother and father and however many cats they have.)

He called me back about a half hour later, beligerantly stating that he's 'always claimed Allison' on his taxes. BULL DOO DOO, I said to him; if 'you claimed her previously, you would have gotten a denial because I have claimed her every year without issue.' I very calmly asked him what made him think he could claim her, he tells me that during our divorce proceedings, he thought our lawyers had agreed he could claim her as his dependent and it should be in the divorce decree. I told him very kindly, I wasn't calling him a liar, but I would need to see what we could find on this since I don't recall EVER agreeing to that.

After that phone call, I made several others - to Dave, to Elyse my tax lady, and to Dave again. Turns out, if I tried to refile, letting Matt claim Alli this year, I would have to pay in $638.00 for federal - which basically means that I paid in over $8000 for daycare last year, taking home between $15,000 and $18,000 - taking additional money out of my check AND I'D STILL HAVE TO PAY.

How sick is that? Really.

So... I went home and rampaged my way through old files looking for my divorce decree - November 14th 2002 we were officially divorced. Did I ever tell you why? Ohhh no? Well let's put it this way - my ex was a traveling district manager for a pre-paid cell phone company who liked to chat online. He ended up falling in love and as far as I can tell, cheating on me WHILE I WAS PREGNANT with some girl he met online. Heh. She was fatter than me, too. Go figure, eh? He asked me for a divorce when I was 6 months pregnant. What a prince.

Dave and I pored over the divorce decree and it stated nothing to the effect of who would be claiming Alli for taxes - although a letter from my lawyer to his told him basically I would be. The follow up response to my lawyer's letter didn't even address the tax claim issue.

I did talk with my best friend, Kathleen - who it just so happens, her father in law is a professional tax man as I like to call him, and she told him what the story was.
He said according to the definition of dependent, the fact I have sole physical custody of Alli and am her sole source of support and nothing was hammered out in the decree, I would be the one with the legal right to claim Alli as my dependent.

Dave and I grappled with what tack to take with Matt - steam roller or sincere honesty. I decided to go for sincere honesty, and if we had to later, Dave would get involved if I couldn't hardtack my ex.

I called Matt back. We were on the phone for more than 20 minutes. I told him what I'd found and that he wasn't eligible to claim her as his dependent and the IRS would be auditing and researching both of us if he did not agree to do an amended tax filing. He said at first "It doesn't matter. The IRS takes whatever return I get and puts it to the back child support." I told him that unfortunately, we don't see that - we see the weekly takings, the $85.xx a week which totals to $344.00 a month and while that helps immensely, it barely covers her daycare during the school months and I was looking at $1800 in childcare costs just this summer.
He growled at me and told me he was broke, and he was barely making ends meet, still living with his parents, and that if he re-did his taxes, he would probably owe.
I explained to him calmly that's what payment plans are for because Gods know I've had to do my fair share of those being a single mom.

He started to get snarky at that point and asked "What about your new husband?"
I assumed he meant Dave and I sighed into the phone, "We are not married yet - we're thinking of next Fall. And contrary to who and what you knew me as when we were married, I am QUITE independent now. Alli is not HIS responsibility, although Dave has offered several times to help out where he can."

Matt got quiet, "Well congratulations. And I don't mean that in an ignorant way."

Again, sighing, "Thank you Matt."

Matt: "Is he going to adopt Allison?"

Me: "That's entirely up to you Matt. You'd have to sign off on the paperwork and we really haven't discussed it because we're not even at that point yet."

At this point, I don't remember what set him off exactly but he started crying and telling me how I kept her from him, and took away his reason for living, and he hadn't seen her in 5 years. I told him, "Come on up Matt. You can see her - I've never knowingly kept you from her. Come up and visit; she's not traveling anytime soon though. And the biggest thing is that she already has her Daddy here...we wouldn't know how to explain you. She's not able to comprehend the situation at this age."
He started in crying again. I feel badly for him - I do - but if he hadn't screwed around with someone else, we might still be married and a family unit, where she might have known or recognized him as her father. This really isn't possible now.

I again repeated the very first portion of our conversation; either he does an amended tax return taking Alli off, or I file with her as my dependent as I'm allowed to, and the IRS does it's research; I guarantee they will still be sending me a refund, but it'll take a few months longer or more to get here.

Again I reiterated the necessity of the refund Alli and I would be getting back; promising him stubs of what I paid for daycare if he deemed it necessary. I just wanted to get the point across to him that SHE needs this money - for clothes, for daycare, for a new bed...

He turned beligerent, "Well I hope you're happy; you always get what you want. Don't you? I hope you're happy now. I'll try to file that amended paperwork. But I'm broke right now and don't know if I can afford to pay -"

I sighed deeply again,"No, Matt, I don't. I just want you to do what's right. You don't have the benefit to file with her as your dependent. That money is Alli's." I lowered my voice to soften my thanks, "I appreciate you doing this. Thank you."

We ended up disconnecting a few moments later as his voice took on more of a sarcastic, long-suffering tone --- suggesting that he believed I was getting my way again. He did at one point say he was going to talk to a tax lawyer and I encouraged him too - but then again, how could he afford one if he was broke? Wonders never cease. Dave and I are giving him until Thursday. If he doesn't call by then like I requested him to, then I will call him and we will play out the little phone call all over again I'm sure.

Typing this... has exhausted me. But still more to come.

Oh NO you DIDN'T!

2007-04-02T22:22:00.000-04:00

Dave has returned into my good graces. Long story short, he spoiled me with lots of time just for us and the family time with us and Alli and it was fabulous. That's the good part.

The incredibly bad part of my day came today when I had H&R Block go and file my taxes.

The IRS rejected my taxes; my return (which was a nice chunk of change) has been put on hold.

Apparently, someone else is trying to claim Alli as a dependent.

I immediately thought of my ex husband - Matt. And boy was I EVER surprised.

I researched to find his number (because we're just such bosom buddies, ya know), and was leaving him a voicemail inside of 20 minutes of finding out he had tried to claim her on his taxes.

He called me back - turns out he's telling me he's always claimed Allison on his taxes - which couldn't be; he would have been rejected like I was today, and that supposedly he's telling me I agreed he could try to claim her as a dependent.
Umm...NO. Would HELL NO be too much?

Seriously, between two phone calls where he alternated between abrasive, civil, tearful, and civil again, we discovered that he screwed up. Big time. And I had to convince him that he DID f*ck up and is taking funds away from Alli and things she needs - like daycare $1800 this summer.

Per my discussion with Dave, we discovered that the custodial parent is to file and claim the dependent on the taxes - unless a previous arrangement has been made, which it has not. Believe me, I pulled my copy of the divorce decree. There is not a WORD stating he gets to claim her. Pfft!

He hasn't seen Alli since 2002 - and he claims I've 'kept her' from him! Puhlease!! He lives in St. Louis, MO. He hasn't been here to see her and I refuse to let her travel alone, let alone out of state without me.

So as it stands now, he either needs to do a tax filing amendment --- OR --- I file by paper and the IRS will research and review both of our taxes and audit as appropriate. He said he would try to file an amendment. *l*

There's more to this story - like the pleading, the congrats on Dave, and adoption of Alli. But those are all best served in another posting.

Ostara & Work

2007-03-22T20:27:00.000-04:00

Wednesday, March 21st was Ostara for us Pagans and Wiccans.

Mind you, I'm not a huge fan of lamb, but it seems to be traditional in most recipes I've seen for almost all the Pagan holidays.

So of course... we had real lamb chops, stuffing, and corn. We didn't perform any rituals, but during dinner I kept thinking about the worries of the winter... and how the equinox was a time for renewal and Spring, and tried to let go of previous worries and start new again.

I applied for a couple new jobs at work and agreed to let my nerves go in silent prayer as I munched on lamb chops and general dinner conversation flew around me.

Starting over is hard. Letting things go that you have no control over is harder.

I found out today that the first job that I REALLY wanted had started the second interview process - and it didn't include me. You want to talk about feeling inadequate?

I've been where I work for more than 2 years, have worked every product offered by my company, and excel in what I do, assisting members and other co-workers. I'm known as a 'go to' person for my team... and yet, I get passed over for someone who hasn't got a clue about a number of products and they are not a person anyone likes, and then someone else who has been there less time than I and hasn't been trained or gotten down even the basics of the products, and .... so on and so forth. Sorry, I hate bitching, but right now, I feel like I've been kicked like a puppy waiting faithfully by his master's stoop for a scrap of food.

Trust me, I'm no ones idea of an annoying ass-kissing, know-it-all who has a huge mouth... so I guess that disqualifies me for the position that I wanted. Because that's all that's left of the pool of employees who applied.

I came home tonight and consoled myself with half a pint of Ben and Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream. It's juvenile I know, and I have moved on from 'feeding my inadequacies' like when I was in high school, but I felt like I DESERVED that damn ice cream. I also think I f'd up my interview for the second position I applied for but I can't go into details on how or why. It just all seems like bad news today.

So I came home, cried to Dave, freaked out Alli without meaning to, and ate a quiet dinner with my family, learning that Dave 'had to work' tonight.

Now this is where I pull you aside dear reader and tell you that he has worked every night that I can remember, and every weekend with the exception of one when Alli and I went to Sandstone to visit Kathleen and Charlie a few weeks ago. Dave stayed home and relaxed on that Saturday, and has been behind since that time. Whether he realizes it or not, I feel like I've been kicked twice today - which I tried to explain to him tonight.

I get that everyone needs to make a living. I do. But I had one of the shittiest days I've had in a long, long while at work and I come home to him telling me I shouldn't be upset about it, and although lets me cry on his shoulder, tells me that he has to work tonight and doesn't know when he'll be done.

It's now 8pm. There's no telling when he'll be done. I'm feeling a craving for more chocolate. Did I mention that I have my period right now, too? Yeah. It just gets better and better. *L*

An ER Story

2007-02-23T21:55:00.000-05:00

Alli had her first head trauma Thursday night.

Apparently she had an accident at school and slammed her forehead into a metal bar (I still don't understand how this happened!) and scratched her nose and chin up.

I had a 5:40 doc appt to check my INR and Protime, so I picked up the family to come with so we could head out to dinner afterwards.

Appt went well, so we headed to Boston Market for dinner and I noticed how lethargic she seemed and the size of her HUGE bump on her forehead. She was also complaining about her head hurting, that she had a 'headack' and that she was dizzy. We decided to rather be safe than sorry.

We went to Urgent Care first. They referred us to the hospital.

And so... we went back to Fairview Southdale ER. I'm starting to think of it as home after all the visits these last few weeks. I saw at least 3 nurses last night that I had had when I had been there previously. Even John, the nurse who had to stab me 4 times to get my IV in last Friday was there. I felt like we were family reuniting. *L*

We waited about an hour and a half before they called Alli to go back for a CT scan to make sure there was no bleeding in the brain because the size of the goose egg on her forehead that was frightening.

She loved the cute and fuzzy blue gown we changed her into, and received stickers from a couple nurses, a bendy doll that was a ballerina, and a necklace of metallic green Mardi Gras beads in the shapes of dice. Yes, she was a spoiled - and brave - little girl.

The ER doc confirmed she has a mild concussion and should be watched - if fever, vomiting, or unusual behavior, then take her back into the ER for additional testing.

But yes... she is okay. :) Her first head trauma. What a milestone. *L*

"And sometimes.... you touch..."

2007-02-23T21:22:00.000-05:00

Now, I am typing up this posting before the next simply because I just watched Grey's Anatomy from Thursday night. (Remember, long live the DVR!)

First off: OHMYGOD. Meredith's mom died. You knew of course Meredith was going to make it, right? I did. I was more interested in what happened in her afterlife as I had seen the actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Denny) at the end of the last episode and was just like "WFT?!"

Okay so...the entire episode, you know they are trying to draw it out as long as they can for Meredith to be out without brain damage. I had to laugh at the way Christina handled it though - as far as going to the $1 store and buying a whole bunch of crap for 99 cents each. It had me chuckling... and then I realized how messed up her character is. I suppose watching your father bleed out during a car accident might do that to you.

And then there was the mysterious pregnant patient who was crushed by the pylon. Who is this person? Is this going to be like Izzy's Denny love of her life situation? Hrm...ring line but no ring? Questions, questions.

The thing that kinda pisses me off is Izzy's constant badgering of Callie and George's marriage. I get how Callie ticked off Izzy by acting like she knew Meredith, but I think Callie was more interested in convincing herself and others that Meredith *would* get through this without an issue.

However, Callie PISSED me off when she basically told Izzy to back off and something along the lines of how people around Izzy were dropping like flies. How heart-breaking! :(

The most poignant moments were:
*When Derek ly down with Meredith at the end and he held her.
You see Addison and Mark ("McSteamy")watching them and she states that Derek and she never had "that"...their conversation turns into a challenge for each other to go through 60 days of celibacy... which isn't so poignant.

*You hear Meredith narrating at the end about "And sometimes.... you touch..."
And you see Izzy walking out the hospital; she stops and smiles and gets this look on her face. The camera swivels to show Denny's ghostly form, unseen to Izzy, who whispers her name and smiles longingly at her as she's paused in the middle of the hallway. The camera makes the full swivel to her right and she appears to shake it off and continues walking. You see Denny stop a moment more and put his head down...and he walks on, in his afterlife.

*sigh* Now *that* ladies and gentlemen... is true love right there and it SUCKS that the writers are basically being mean and teasing me. Yeah, I know they're out to get me - I've been a staunch Izzy & Denny supporter and went through a Grey's depression when he was killed off. BOO! HISS! But hey, at least they brought him back for a bit. :)

Next week is a re-run. To keep up to date with episodes you may have missed dear reader, this website link will give you the summaries for each episode so far.

Out

2007-02-21T22:23:00.000-05:00

The good: I was released from the hospital last night around 6:30pm after demonstrating I am not an idiot and know how to administer my Lovenox shots. Well duh. I've been taking them faithfully for the last 3 months.

Dr. Bitch as I'll call her, was my attending physician Tuesday; she treated me like I was stupid in general; the discharge directions included when to take Coumadin (daily for the next 6 months) 10mg, and NO GETTING PREGNANT DURING THAT TIME. I am on Lovenox only for the next two days, and then just straight Coumadin with bi-weekly blood tests.

Okay - the WHOLE reason I ended up in the hospital is because I was not put on the right dosage of Lovenox after the DnC back in November. I should NOT be the one who is punished. I find that it f*cking PISSES me OFF that they are messing with my reproductive rights because of THEIR screw up.

Yes, I have strong feelings about this. I am willing to compromise though - I called both Dr. Ney the perinatologist and Dr. Weinshel the Hematologist to discuss terms. Dr. Weinshel is willing possibly to compromise, but I have to go see him or his NP/PA in two weeks. I'd be willing to wait 3 months, or even 4 months. But a whole 6 months just seems stupid. At this rate, Alli is going to be 7 years old before there's a baby (or twins heh!) born. C'mon! It's soon or never. Dave's not getting any younger, either - he'll be 38 in October. I told him just today that his swimmers are old and dying quicker every day. He laughed, but he knows I'm right!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I walked in the door last night - Alli didn't know I was coming home - and she raced down the stairs to tackle her Mommy. It was the sweetest and best hug EVER. It made me realize - again - how lucky I am. And how much my family loves me. Heck, Dave even cleaned the cat box for me. That is a major deal in our house.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

And so, Dr. Bitch released me to return to work today. I even kinda sorta asked to be released back on Thursday, but she said "You're able bodied, aren't you?" And idiot me, I responded with "Yes, I'm able bodied". Seriously, how can you explain to a stranger that being hospitalized exhausts you and you really aren't sure if you even have clean clothes to wear to work tomorrow because you were in the hospital over the weekend???!!! You just don't go there with someone who already treats you like an idiot.

So, I went to work today. Friends greeted me, I received hugs and well-wishes, a new plant, and a nice "Welcome Back" balloon. It's nice to feel the love. Now, dear reader, I head to bed as I am beyond exhausted and just want to get some good rest. Did I mention that to top everything off, the crimson tide decided to begin today? Yep, you got it.

Another day, another IV

2007-02-20T10:56:00.000-05:00

I cried like a little girl this morning.

You want to know what brought down me, a 263 pound woman who's endured countless lab stabs and blood draws in the last decade...?

It was the thought that they had to put a NEW IV site in. Of all things.

A nice IV nurse, Marge, came in, took one look at the IV site and asked me if it hurt. Of course I'm going to say "no, it's fine" with a smile on my face when it took them 4 pokes to get it in in the first place.

She shook her head and said because my arm was a bit puffy, it meant they needed to do another IV; the current site was shot as the Heparin had infiltrated the tissue around my vein.

I cried. Silently at first as big, fat tears fell. I sobbed brokenly, but quietly as Marge looked on sadly. She knew what trauma her appearance would bring; she told me later she made alot of people cry without ever meaning to and was sorry for it.

She brought the IV accoutrements in and starting talking to me. Within seconds I felt a small poke and in another 5 seconds she was done. She secured it, apologized, and we talked for a few minutes more.

I found out why I had to endure the multiple punctures that I did the night I came into the ER. Marge filled me in: Apparently the hospital cut the budget and they were no longer offering IV Nurses from 11pm to 7am. All IV Nurses from that shift have either be reassigned or laid off. This is a bad thing.

However, it's over now. I have a new IV site, am still getting Heparin, and I think I don't have another lab stab until tomorrow morning.

They let me shower this morning; I was still hooked up to the IV though. It was a funny sight I'm sure, watching me walking to the shower, with the infusion machine in front of me. No, they aren't waterproof, unfortunately.

I wish I had a camera

2007-02-20T00:02:00.000-05:00

I just WISH I could take a picture of my arms. They are all pretty purple and yellowish green in so many places... I can't wait for the freakin' IV to come out. I keep cringing every time I move my arm.

Wishing the Best to Roommate #2

2007-02-19T23:22:00.000-05:00

Roommate #2 was my most favorite hospital roommate EVER, so far.

Talk about a spitfire! We were up talking until 3:30 in the morning on topics ranging from cancer to food, politics to health issues, to lab draws (or 'lab stabs' as I like to call them now).

Our nurse, Molly, would come in and get really involved in the conversations. We even learned at one point what a 'code 21' was for room 608. Apparently it means someone isn't too happy and needs to be restrained due to threatening physical violence. Yikes.

By the time we were done cackling and giggling, our room was nicknamed 'the party room' because the nurses would come in and visit and giggle with us about whatever we were talking about.

And then we were woken up around 6am for the lab guy.

And then we fell back asleep for another couple hours after breakfast.

Shortly after I'd finished eating, the surgeon came in for my roommate; within 20 minutes they decided they were going to perform the operation to draw out the fluid surrounding her lungs and then some.

We called to each other from across the hallway as they wheeled her away to surgery: "It's been a pleasure! Good luck!"

Apparently her surgery went well, and she is now on the 3rd floor - the 'surgical floor'.

And now...I am alone.

And so I surf the internet, praying to the Goddesses and Gods that I get to go home tomorrow. I won't know though until after they do my 7:30 am lab stab to draw for my INR numbers -- they want it between 2 and 2.5 -- yesterday it was 1.37. Yeah, not so good.

The Funny Thing about Pulmonary Embolisms...

2007-02-19T00:12:00.000-05:00

Dave and I were curling up in bed late Friday night when I realized I couldn't get comfortable and it hurt more than usual to breathe, with a pulling sensation crossing my left side of my chest.

Chest pain.

ER.

Again, images of a week spent in the hospital flashed in front of my eyes.

Dave prodded me; we should just go.

In the ER, the docs decided to perform a CT or Cat scan to view my lungs and any major arteries. It took the poor ER nurse guy, John, 4 tries to find a good vein that was close enough to my heart. According to John and Courtney, the imaging tech, it has to be nearest to my heart as possible for the injectable dye to get where it needs to go.

I made it back to the ER room #12 and waited. Dave and Alli came to check on me a couple times. Around 3:30 am Saturday morning Dr. Sherri came to me and said they had found a suspicious mass on my lung that they were going to be determining to be a clot ... aka pulmonary embolism.

They immediately started Heparin via IV and I've been hooked up ever since.

My breathing has gotten easier, and the clot in my leg has already dissolved - no leg pain whatsoever. In the grand scheme of things, I am not as bad off as others.

My first roommate came in about an hour after I was settled - about 5am. In her lat 30s, she was a nice lady with Lupus and extreme depression. Most of Saturday night we spent talking about my sister's Lupus and how this lady could follow through and make herself better physically and emotionally. It was sad - by the end of her stay, Sunday morning, she was begging and demanding mental health help and was told that she had already been discharged according to her doctors and she was to follow outpatient care orders with her regular physicians.

I'll let you know how my second roommate works out - she sounds like fun. They just brought her in - she has lung cancer, has had a double mastectomy due to breast cancer, and is currently on oxygen --- she works as a secretary at the House of Reps in Minneapolis.

So all in all, I'm okay and in love with the chicken noodle soup here. There's always an upside.

Put your left leg in...

2007-02-16T21:06:00.000-05:00

and leave it in.

I couldn't take it anymore, so yesterday, I went to my regular family practice clinic and saw a Physicians Assistant I had never seen before.

She looked at me, at my leg, and told me to call Friday morning and they would set me up with an ultrasound on my left leg.

Soooo...this morning, I talked to Bunny, who set up an 11:30am ultrasound at WestHealth. The tech who performed it, Jenny, was a very sweet and thorough woman who took 15 minutes alone just looking at the veins behind my knee. Altogether it took about half an hour for her to look over the entire leg. I was impressed and I knew something was wrong.

Sure enough, Jenny comes to get me and calls the PA I had seen at the clinic. The PA tells me they found a smallish clot behind my knee. I see spending the next week in the hospital flash before my eyes.... painful insertion of the IV... bad food... and all. I'm sure I had a mini panic attack right there.

The PA says she's going to call my Hematologist to get information together on what to do and if I should need to goto the hospital right away. Mind you, I've had two clots - the first one I was in the hospital for a week. The second one I was in for 3 days. I didn't know there was any other option.

The PA and my Hematologist discuss it; they will up my dosage of Lovenox to 2 shots a day 150mg each, PLUS I'll be taking Coumadin 10mg for an unspecified amount of time and I am told "you can't get pregnant for 6 months - we'll have you on the Coumadin for a 6 month cycle".

Coumadin crosses the placenta and can cause a number of problems in fetuses including birth defects. It's bad, baaaadd mojo on babies.

At the time, this doesn't concern me - I'm just ECSTATIC that I don't have to goto the hospital unless I experience other symptoms (shortness of breath, chest pain, etc to signify a possible pulmonary embolism).

The PA tells me to take it very easy this weekend, doing as little as possible and giving the meds time to work, with a check for INR and Protime on Monday morning with them. Yay. Another needle. Whoooppyyy!

So I go home after calling my supervisor from the ultrasound office, and start thinking. Who the HELL has the right to take away my reproductive rights? If they had put me on two shots of 100mg of Lovenox and kept me at that dosage, I doubt I'd be going through this right now, and I still would have been cleared for pregnancy.

I get real upset over this with Dave and he is on my side. He knows he's not getting any younger, and I don't want Alli to be so old that she can be copped into being a built in babysitter without me trying to make her that way. I'll be talking to Dr. Weinshel come Monday. I mean, sure, I can wait a couple months, but 6?? Alli will be 7 by the time the baby is born then, even if we conceived right away.

Sigh.

Yes, I know my health is important, and everything has been FINE up until now. If only they would have doubled my doses...

I solemnly swear not to do anything stupid. And once my leg feels better, sure, I can walk more, and FINALLY get to use the treadmill to take off a few random pounds. But still... it's not FAIR. Six months, my ass.

Baby Making

2007-02-16T20:57:00.000-05:00

So on Tuesday I saw the Perinatologist, Dr. Ney.

Talk about EXCITING.

I spoke to a genetic counselor, Rachel, who disclosed information about the miscarriage like why it may have happened, and what they would like to do with me (genetic testing).

Apparently, there were two distinctly different sets of chromosomes - one for a boy, and one for a girl. TWINS. Yep, you got it! And from what they can tell, the boy had some extra undetermined genetic material and it screwed it up for that fetus's development. And, as all boys can be, he was naughty, and caused the pregnancy to term for himself and the female fetus around 6 weeks.

I know, you're probably thinking I should be sad, right? Well, I was. This was way back in October/ November that I went through this. I had some time to grieve, and then I got over it. There was no way my body could have pulled me out of pneumonia AND kept the pregnancy going... so it terminated on it's own. Viola. Miscarriage.

Still, the point of the story is that there were TWINS!!!! :) Excitement and incredulity bubbled inside me as I talked to Dr. Ney later and she approved me to get ready to start conceiving; just advising me to keep on with the generic prenatal vitamins, get some Omega 3, Vitamin C, and extra Calcium supplements and I should be good to go.

See. *sticks tongue out at disbelievers* Who said you can't be fat AND healthy? :P

Anyways... we got the green light both from Dr. Weinshel and Dr.Ney. We are a-go.

How was your Valentine's Day?

2007-02-16T20:45:00.000-05:00

I didn't think Dave got me anything - and seriously, I would have been fine if he hadn't because of something he said the other night.

We were sitting on the couch together, snuggling, and watching that awesome USA cable show, "Monk".

Dave turns to me and says, "You're my Trudy." My heart seriously melted right then and there. He goes, "No, seriously, if something happened to you, I'd turn into him," he pointed at the actor Tony Shalhoub working as Mr. Monk on the TV.

Anyone who's seen "Monk" knows that the title character is basically OCD to the Nth degree and cannot shake hands, is afraid of milk, and a whole host of other neuroses. His wife Trudy was a reporter who was killed in a car bomb attack more than a decade ago in TV world and it drove Monk over the edge to the parody of humanity he appears as in the show.

I thought that was just the sweetest thing coming from Dave. Awwww.

But still, the boy did FAR more than I expected. He had some beautiful, gorgeous red roses sent to me from Calyx & Carola florists to my work. And then when I got home, he had the ever-traditional Vermont Teddy Bear waiting for me. This year he got me
a pirate bear we decided to name "Scurvey"

A nice, quiet dinner with Alli, and then a couple hours of uninterrupted...TV. Yes, we watched television and then passed out around 10:30pm. I still wasn't feeling well and my leg was bothering me. More on that in the next post.

Still, it was a wonderful Valentine's Day. :)

Can I blow your...vein?

2007-02-12T21:17:00.000-05:00

After nearly four months without seeing a Hematologist, I FINALLY made it!!

For those new to reading, I have lived with ITP (Idio Thrombocyto Penia/Purpura = low platelet count) for the last nearly 15 years. Basically, it's an immunological disorder where my body fights itself - my white blood cells attack and destroy my platelets which help my blood clot.

When I was first diagnosed with this, I had about 8,000 platelets. The normal person has about 150,000 - 250,000.

I used to receive treatments by IV every 3-5 weeks of Gamma Globulin, which was to 'feed' the white blood cells and allow my platelets to reproduce into my normal range of about 60,000. Today, I still have a lower than normal range count of platelets, but I'm no longer in such danger of bleeding out. Yay me.

Now, add to this low platelet count a Factor 10 issue/Lupus anticoagulant.
What it breaks down to is I don't have a lot of platelets to start with, but the Factor 10/Lupus anticoagulant deficiency in my system tells my platelets to randomly make clots. Party time, anyone?

Soooo....I was diagnosed with that little nugget of joy after Alli was born nearly 6 years ago by my previous Hematologist, P.J. Flynn. Good doctor, just really freaking hard to get into see.

After this last trip I had to the hospital here back in October (I was out of work for a month with pneumonia), Dr. Weinshel from the same practice MOHPA (Minnesota Oncology/Hematology, PA.) came to see me at the hospital.

A rotund man with intelligent and eyes and a kind, pudgy face softened by spectacles, Dr. Weinshel is my current hero. He saw me today - squeezed me in really - and basically sat me down to tell me how things are going to be.

He said my leg most likely isn't a clot - I would KNOW if it was, and just to keep it rested as the muscles healed. He also said he is going to keep me on the Lovenox pre-conception, during the pregnancy (IF I ever get pregnant again! :) ), and for at least 2-3 months after baby is born. While on Lovenox, I don't need to come in every month for INR and Protime; but once I'm back on Coumadin after the birth, I'll have to go back to them every 2 weeks to a month for the standard INR and Protime checks.

He told me what I already knew though as far as I'm concerned: I'm a healthy person, in spite of any extra weight I carry, and there's no reason not to go ahead with purposefully trying to conceive and carry to term. :) It felt good to hear that from a physician.

And then he sent me to have labs drawn.

Keep in mind... again... this is a lab that draws blood from thousands of people a year that suffer through cancer, hemophilia, other blood disorders.

I get Brenda. Brenda uses a butterfly needle on an arm that has many battle scars, in a location I've never seen blood drawn from. I sit, zoning out, thinking she knows how to do her job. She gets one vial and stars the next. I look at the draw in the second vial and see two plops of blood fill it about an inch.

Brenda hisses out her breath and takes off the rubber band on my arm; "Well I guess I've blown it."

I look to my arm. Sure as hell, it's already puffy and turning bluish purple.

Brenda speaks again, "But I got what we needed. Thanks!"

Gathering up my purse and jacket, I wished her a good week.

On the bright side, at least she left a couple good veins for the people at MN Perinatology tomorrow.

But damn it hurts.

Words Women Use - Men, File Away for Future Reference

2007-02-11T14:42:00.000-05:00

I got this from my myspace bulletin listing... heheheheheh

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine (see #1).

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you - do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "%@&* YOU!"

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong" - for the woman's response refer to #3.

I Am Grace Itself in Motion

2007-02-11T13:09:00.000-05:00

On Monday I know I reported that I'd gone to the ER and they did the ultrasound to
see if I had any blood clots and that came back negative which is a good thing.

However, on Wednesday, just as my leg was feeling somewhat better, I biffed it in the parking lot and now have a huge raspberry on my right knee.

Yep, that's me, Miss Graceful.

I was walking out of work, la de da de da, being careful not to slip and fall and sure enough, my foot went out from under me and I landed on my right knee with my left leg at God knows what angle. I popped right back up as others in the parking lot were asking me if I was okay, calling out that I was fine, and that getting out stains is what Shout is for.

Upright once again, I was walking even more gingerly the next two steps, and fell flat on my arse again. Five stinkin' feet from my van... and I was just about ready to crawl. I made myself get up again and slowly trudged to the van. Once inside I pulled up my pant leg and saw the damage; sliced skin around the edges, missing skin in the middle bigger than the size of a silver dollar.

I drove home with my pant leg rolled up and blood dripping down my leg in a thin stream.

So fast forward to today - Sunday - my left leg has still been hurting, and I am almost certain that this can be attributed to my ungracious spill. It doesn't have the standard clot feeling of a never ending 'charley horse', but the muscles are definitely sore. Tylenol or Alleve helps with the soreness so I'm not too terribly worried right now. Just resting up.

Tomorrow I get to see Dr. Weinshel, my new Hematologist. We'll see what evil mad-scientist tests he wants to run on me. And yes, I'll make sure he knows about my leg.

Good Food, Good Company

2007-02-11T12:41:00.000-05:00

Saturday
Beckah came over with Village Wok for lunch. Oy. That was a descent into mind-numbing goodness. Alli was trying to stab her chicken at one point, where a piece nearly flew off her plate. Yes, she's still learning to use her 'chiny sticks' as she calls them.

In order to walk off some of the calories consumed from lunch we had agreed beforehand that I would take Beckah and Jenn to Trader Joe's for their first taste there. We picked up Jenn and heading onto Trader Joe's.

4:20pm
We are finally inside Trader Joe's after fighting through the traffic and circling the parking lot 1 full time.
TJ = Specialty food store galore with low-cost, organic, low fat, varieties of foods. Seriously, when you can get 64oz of vanilla/chocolate/original soy milk for $2.49; or yummy pumpkin spice sorbet for $2.99; or garlic naan bread for $1.99; many different specialty cheeses - like goat herb, Dubliner, smoked jack, Cotswold (pub cheese), gruyere, and fabulous fruity stilton....yummm...most less than $4.99 for a large chunk.

Anyways... it's packed. Even after 4pm on Saturday. The yuppies are out and about in full force. Some of the shelves are empty, especially some of the bread baskets. Sigh.

It's not the way I wanted to present TJ to B & J, but they seemed to go with the flow of the traffic. I'm just sorry we didn't have more room to browse. Seriously, there were aisles that were 3 people deep on each side; case in point being the frozen foods section. Alli almost got run over on our way back from the bathroom. Ahhh... NOW I remember why we usually go only on Sunday mornings bright and early.

We made it out and headed back here so they could get out to the Y to work out. HA! You can't use visiting me as an excuse to avoid working out. Nanny nanny boo boo... :P ;)

They made it back later for pizza - homemade except for the crust. Believe me, anything you guys want with mushrooms, you can make sure to take home. hehehe.

I have to say, it'd been a while since I'd laughed so hard. :)

What I did this weekend

2007-02-06T00:00:00.000-05:00

Dave worked. I chilled with Alli, watching "The Sound of Music" amongst other family favorites of her choice. Yes, my daughter likes musicals. I can't help it.

Dave and I had the best weekend we've had in a long time - so good in fact, I apparently suffered a *ahem* "sports injury" as we like to call it. *giggles*

Well, my leg has been hurting on and off since our activities this weekend, and it started to worry me as it seemed similar to my previous experiences with DVTs (deep vein thrombosis - translation: blood clots); my left leg is slightly swollen by half a centimeter more than my right, and there's a certain tautness in the back of my calf....

So I dragged Dave and Alli with me to the ER for moral support tonight. We arrived there around 6:45pm and left none the worse for wear about 9:50pm, tucking Alli into bed by 10:05.

The docs performed an ultrasound on my leg to verify there were no DVTs - after waiting for a while. Honestly, I was cool with it - we packed some coloring books and markers for Alli to keep her occupied - and there were sicker people than I waiting to be seen. I heard something about a car accident at one point.

Anyways... the doc pronounced me fine - making sure to state it's 85% reliable. Geeze. That makes me feel better.

And the standard line "Go back to your doctor if you feel any changes for the worse, yada yada yada...."

So now, we are home. I've learned 2 things: always bring snacks to the ER, and don't try to be too active all in one weekend. hehehehe.

This caught my eye

2007-02-05T11:03:00.000-05:00

This article on MSNBC.com caught my eye and just about made me cry.

Seems people lost their lives senselessly because no one wanted to be made or look for the company to be made accountable for a malfunctioning device. Granted, nothing is ever perfect, but C'MON guys!

My dad was a firefighter on the Vandenburg AFB in Vandenburg, CA for about a decade before heading on and becoming a contractor for NASA. I still have my dad's huge red protectant helmet. He passed away several years ago, about 12 now, but I'm sure he didn't have half of the gadgets they do now. He was lucky, I guess, though I'd never heard him tell his stories.

A firefighter is a firefighter is a firefighter. They all deserve at least a working device to assist in saving their lives.

Grrr...

On a Different Note..

2007-02-01T20:37:00.000-05:00

I was ELATED to find out today that the release for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is July 21st, 2007. WOOHOO!

Now, just waiting another 6 months for it...

At least we'll have seen HP: OOtP the movie on opening night on July 13th, so not too much longer we'd have to wait for book 7.

I was going into a panic attack when I realized I hadn't pre-ordered it yet. *L*

I was talking to Dave during my lunch today when I mentioned the book coming out.

Dave: "So I'm going to be a Potter Widower then, right? I won't hear from you for like days...."

Me: "Awww...honey..it won't take me days to read it; just 12 to 36 hours. IF I stop to sleep."

Boys I Met Online...

2007-01-31T22:03:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time, I was a 14 year old girl who was in love with the Internet.

My first passion, I logged onto my hotmail account as soon as I could every morning at school as we didn't have Internet access at home. Throughout my formative high school years I was nicknamed "webjunkie" by close friends.

In homeroom, one day while surfing the web, I discovered Paddynet. Paddynet.com started out as paddynet.ie, if memory serves, and went through too many incarnations of the name through the last 14 years to remember them all.

Paddynet opened up my world to 'my friends in the box' as I like to call them. Hundreds of chatters from USA stateside, to all over Canada - Montreal, BC- to yes, encompassing even the UK and Ireland. Most of my 'boys' came from Paddynet or were linked there somehow.

The first boy I ever chatted up really wasn't ever a boy. A man in his mid 30's, his handle online was "Ghostman" and he frequently went by the handle "Lurker". Funny thing, that... I was 17 by the time I started going on with him -- his real name was Glenn and he lived in the UK - he was an assistant English prof at the University of Oxford. How do I know this for sure you ask? Well, we exchanged addresses and wrote each other 'smitten letters' as I termed them. I usually emailed him, but I also sent snailmail to his home and to his office address. He always got them. *shrugs*

From Glenn, I learned that I had a thing for older men. A fetish almost. Older men were more willing from my experience to take things slowly and devoted more time to conversation than keep repeating the words 'wanna cyber?' over and over again. There was actually substance beneath the talking.

We corresponded for a few months outside of online life. Sadly, any budding relationship was squelched by my conscience in reality and online not meeting up. I was 17. He was much older. I figured it was illegal somehow and we quit the 'smitten talk', but remained friends for many years.

Then there was Dale. Also known as "Gunshy" in Paddynet world. Yup, I lost my cyber virginity to him. Sadly, he wasn't even worth it. Turns out he was cybering behind my back with another female chatter that went by the handle "Shy". Go figure.

My next man I met online was Kerry. His online name was "Yrrek" and he played on my sense of confusion being a 17 year old teenager. Kept saying we were soul mates, and how he wanted to take me away from it all. He also mis-represented himself as being in his early 20s. I seriously got sucked into his act... too much of a mind-f*ck to go into here about, but at least for my graduation I got a $100 from him. Huh. Never did I ask for a thing but to meet. The one time we talked on the phone, my parents threatened to look him up, and he disconnected quite quickly. That signaled the end of the fantasy - he turned out really to be a 46 year old man in sheep's clothing.

After that, I had graduated high school, recovered, and was trying to fit into life at the U of MN in Morris. That's where I ended up spending 20 hour days in the computer lab when my 386 PC couldn't handle the strain of the constant refreshing, and they didn't have Ethernet cards those days for laptops.

My taste in bad men continued on to meeting "SkankinPickle" (it's the name of a defunct ska band) online in Paddynet. We flirted, and danced around things. It turned out he was 21 to my 18, lived in Missouri, and we began. We talked on the phone several times a day in my dorm room. He snailmailed me a letter asking if I would be his girl. I couldn't contain my joy. Of course I said yes. We spent a month dancing around meeting, when he asked if he could come out to visit. We figured things out and made arrangements. No, I didn't lose my virginity on that visit.

I lost it when I went to visit him about 2 weeks after he'd been to see me, and after he'd proposed. After spending a week with him in Missouri, I flew back to MN, and started packing my stuff. He flew back to MN to help me pack everything, and we drove to St. Louis, MO. I spent the next 6 months living in sin until we married in Sept of 1998. Our divorce became final in December of 2002.

Having a small child, and no help around me in the form of a spouse or partner, definitely curtailed my online activities. I mainly kept in touch with my good Paddynet friends -- people that I'd know since I was 16 years old, people that had sent wedding gifts to Pickle and I when we were married -- Spacy, Cleo, Ettie, Treps, Pru, Pegs, Catcii, and others. As Alli grew into a toddler, only then did I allow myself to dare trust myself again in attempting anything.

Relying on the love and support of my online family, I soldiered on. This time I started with an interest in a man in CA. A reporter named - of all things - Kerry. A nice guy, we got along like a house on fire, but after a few rousing phone calls we realized that despite it all, we were going to remain just friends.

A boy - desperate for attention - from Florida who worked in a deli. Willing to take a bus trip here to MN... from FLORIDA. After only talking about a week on the phone, he wanted to marry me. Nice kid. Turned verbally abusive when I turned him down. Good thing I did.

Willem, from the Netherlands, is still one of my good friends. A lifelong survivor of CF (Cystic Fibrosis) we clicked... and he still holds a special place in my heart still, but the distance and with us both being poor, we decided it for the best to remain friends.

I took a long break after Willem. I was doing in home daycare at the time and was being pursued (yes, seriously, my chubby ass was being targeted!) by one of the single dads whose 3 children I watched daily. It was enough to put a woman off looking for a long, long time.

Macparland is Irish to the core, a first generation Irish-American, he can tell you anything you want to know about the old country, his endless hockey games (he's played on two teams seasonally), his job working for a huge bank in the East as a key player (although he's too modest to say anything), and will always treat a lady with courtesy and respect. Still he has that twinkle in his eye to make you wonder. And with that shock of white hair... let's just say I had a horrible, insanely awful crush on the poor man for a few years. He dealt with it well. We've snailmailed, talked on the phone...met in person and I was finally able to give him a hug even if it wasn't the seduction I had planned in May 2004 for the Dubliner get together... but hey. He turned out to be my best friend during those few years. And I'll always care for him for that, and how he never failed to treat me as less than someone he respected.

When I had finally grown up, over Mac, I met Baltiman through my good friends Treps and SadPuppy. Baltiman was in his late 30s, a project manager for Siemens in the UK, and wholly stable, and utterly adorable. Within 2 weeks of us starting chatting online, he had proposed how he could come to visit Alli and I... and then we could make Sadpup's and Trep's wedding together. It was honestly, my first real, adult relationship. I'm quite sure he didn't know exactly how to handle someone who was 15 years younger than he, but he did a fine job. We ended up mutually agreeing after a year and a half together long distance that although we loved each other, it wasn't the right kind of love. We remained somewhat friends... but I haven't heard from him in ages.

This now brings us to Spring/Summer 2004. I decided to be adventurous and join EHarmony. What a waste that was. I met a guy - a programmer for the state of Florida, James, a few years older than me; within 2 days of our first conversation on the phone he had bought a ticket to see me without asking me. Then he started calling, constantly, and while he was playing Ultima Online. Yes, it was SO much fun listening to him breathe. I finally deleted the screen shots he sent me of his character in the game. Nerd? No. Desperate Nerd? Maybe.
After another 5 days of phone calls back and forth, I had had enough one night and told him not to call anymore, and to cancel his plane ticket. There was an incident involving Alli crying for my attention and him saying "Is all she ever does cry?" That pissed me off to no end, and I told him "If I wasn't on the f*cking PHONE all the time, I could actually devote more attention to her!" And then I told him to cancel everything. And hung up. And to think, that night before the incident had happened, he had asked me to marry him and move to Florida. Not bad for knowing a guy about a week, eh.

I blocked his phone number. I emailed him my apologies and told him I no longer wanted his attentions and I got the meanest, nastiest emails back. One after another.
Then I blocked his emails.

The next man I met online is one that, unfortunately, deserves his own blog posting because he royally screwed me up. BAD. However, because he and his wily "pron" ways so affected me, I am going to be choosing NOT to relive them in blog. I've bored y'all enough with this crap anyways. I just felt the need to cleanse myself of all those who have come before Dave.

Ahhh... I feel like that was cathartic. I feel... better.

Of Medicine and Men

2007-01-30T23:50:00.000-05:00

I get that men don't like to go in and see the doctor. I really do.

I walked in the door tonight from work to Alli yelling down the stairs, "Mommy's home! Daddy's ready to goto the doctor, Mommy!"

Oh boy.

You know it has to be bad if he's taken a shower, and is ready to walk out the door to Urgent Care right when you walk IN the door.

Dave has had a pain radiating from his neck and into the back of his head for the last 4-5 days. At one point we wondered if it was a tumor ("It's not a tumor!" became a staple of conversation), and another offered diagnosis from me was 'tension headache'.

Well by tonight he'd had enough and couldn't take the constant pain anymore.

We went to a new Urgent care for us called "NowCare". It was a nice, clean office. After a 35 minute wait Dave was seen. Alone. He figured he could handle seeing the doctor by himself, although I had my doubts. You know men - they only tell you what they want you to know. For all I know, he could have asked the doctor about having one of his balls removed and I wouldn't know!

Anyways... he came out about an hour later. Diagnosis: Tension Headache or.... Meningitis.
Yeah, those are a bit far apart in diagnosis.

Seeing as Dave hasn't been exposed to any place tropical or around a Meningitis possible person/place/thing, the doc ruled that he was having an extreme case of tension headache and gave him a 'shot in the butt' per Dave's description. Although he couldn't explain to me exactly what that shot did or the name of it... he did just show me the band aid as he was getting undressed for bed. Yes, thank you honey. I needed to see the band aid to prove you weren't talking out your ass about the shot who's name and effectiveness you can't tell me about.

So we filled his prescription for pain meds/migraine meds at Walgreens at 7 o'clock at night and didn't get out of there until after 8pm. I swear, it's like a black hole that just sucks you in to buying crap while you wait for the meds to be filled.

He also purchased a neck messager that buzzes and uses heat to help ease tense muscles. Icy Hot was also on the list. Despite Dave's claims there is a warning on there, I could not find one in regards to "Do not use Icy Hot on genitals". Hmm.

So we are home, he's been poked, heated, fed cereal, and we are going to bed. Hopefully he'll feel better tomorrow.

Watch What You Say

2007-01-30T23:33:00.000-05:00

The other day I was wiggling my rather large rump into my favorite pair of jeans.

Trust me, these are soft, smoothly worn down jeans from Lane Bryant, size 26, that I've had for the last 4 years. I LOVE THEM.

I was able to wiggle most of my plumpness into the jeans without a problem. I was even able to pull the zipper up without too much of a struggle.

It's when I tried to breathe that I realized my roll was constricted and I couldn't feel my toes. heh.

That's about the time I yelled to Dave, "Honnnnneeeyyyyyyyy! Damn these jeans..." and I sighed and mumbled something about losing 5 or 10 pounds to fit into my favorite jeans as he arrived in the bedroom and took in my gasping form.

On Sunday, we were just hanging around the house - Dave was working, Alli and I were at the kitchen table going over Valentines for her class list.

Out of the blue, Alli tells me "I need to lose some weight, mommy."

This is a 5 year old child. Barely 34 pounds, and about 3 feet tall. Yeah, I think NOT.

I looked at her and asked, "Pumpkin, who told you that?!"

She responded with a shy, "No one."

I tried a different tact; "Where did you hear that from?"

With great trust and adoration she looked directly into my eyes and said, "You."

Shock stopped me short. It was such a simple thing that I'd said, with no reflection about my body image to myself. I don't EVER knowingly talk about body image with Alli. I always reflect to her the fact that I'm happy with who I am.

Dave and I sat down with Alli and explained that mommy just wanted to fit into her jeans; that I am happy with myself and that Alli doesn't need to lose any weight at all. She is just the right size and perfect for our family... no matter what her size, we will love her always.

In her customary wise childlike innocence she smiled and said "Okay." And then she asked for a treat.

Kids.

Freaks

2007-01-29T22:37:00.000-05:00

Imagine this:

You are cuddled up on the couch, with your laptop and your blankie. You've just finished watching a Masterpiece Theatre edition of "Jane Eyre", and are surfing around.

You find an old movie you've seen before and plop down to revisit it.

A 1937 classic, "Freaks" is about a bunch of circus performers, one of them central to the theme - a midget named 'Tiny Hans" who is targeted by a gold digging acrobat named Cleopatra who is beautiful and normal sized. The circus freaks band together to pay back Cleopatra for the harm and hurt she's caused Hans by making her the ugliest thing - she loses half her body, almost all her hair, and has to use her arms to 'walk' around. Nice, eh.

So I'm at the part where Hans the midget is marrying Cleopatra (remember, it's in black and white), and they are sitting around the table with all the circus side show performers - the bendable man, the bearded lady, the fat lady, the midget lady (Hans' ex girlfriend), the fire eater, the swordswallower, and numerous weird looking people who look like pin heads.

This is the part where Dave walks in and says, "WHAT THE F*CK?!"

He looked at me like he'd walked in the wrong door and wanted to slowly back away and try to re-enter, hoping for a different sight to greet him. Totally stunned and very confused.

I giggled. And I did hand him the remote. Eventually.

Stargate: Atlantis

2007-01-27T23:59:00.000-05:00

Dave got me involved with the Stargate series when we got together. We are nerdy, faithful DVRers, and luckily have friends in Canada that can get us the advanced episodes.

I have seen Episode 17, Season 3 ....entitled "Sunday".

I think this says it all: http://www.savecarsonbeckett.com/

Yup. They did it. They killed off the good doctor.

I have a few problems with this:
1.) In my opinion, he was the only thing that balanced out Rodney McKay's jackholish attitude.
2.) Carson was killed by an EXPLODING TUMOR. Yes, you read that right. Exploding as in, flames and projectiles. Flamage.

They apparently couldn't come up with any better way to kill off one of the nicest, most kindly written characters. STUPIDHEADS. They couldn't even give him a good mission or anything? Seriously, it was like watching the episode of Grey's Anatomy when the bomb squad guy took the bomb and was walking away from Meredith and it exploded, and HE exploded.

Dave is laughing at me right now; of course I cried. I bawled buckets when Denny died on Grey's Anatomy, why should Carson get any less from me as a fan? Pah.

And according to all that I've read, it wasn't the actor who made the choice to leave; it was the higher-ups. Talk about PISSING ME OFF.

Okay. I think I feel better now. I've dropped a few f-bombs on Dave for chuckling at me, and shed a few tears. All I have to say is that the next episode we see better be a F'ing FANTASTIC one.

I'm a bit crabby

2007-01-26T16:48:00.000-05:00

I started my period this morning around 10am - did I mention it was while I was at work? Thank goodness I was expecting it, pad at the ready.

All I really wanted was something cheesy and salty, followed by something drenched in chocolate. Yum.

What I got was a call from the school nurse telling me Alli had diarrhea accidents, and was running a fever. Of course I panicked.

I made it to pick her up and found out it was a major kind of couple accidents with one of them going up her back. Lovely. My poor pumpkin was lying on the bed in the 'sick room', very pale, and so small.

I called her to me and gave her a hug. We picked up her things and went out to the car. She sadly told me she had 'an accident' and looked about to cry. I looked at her and said, "It's okay. Everyone has accidents when they don't feel good." And gave her a hug.

When children are ill, you feel so helpless. The nurse did say that Influenza A was going around...we'll see what develops.

All I can say is that she had a bit more diarrhea, and then was able to produce actual.. .well. . you get it. . .. and her tummy feels better now, even if she still does have a fever of 99.9 to 100.4.

Can I get something cheesy and salty now?

Potter Puppet Pals

2007-01-25T21:42:00.000-05:00

For Fans of Harry Potter and Neil Cicierega

Wizard Angst

Potions Class

"Yule Ball Musical" in Massachusetts

Cookie Sings the Blues

2007-01-25T21:29:00.000-05:00

This is my type of cookie - not only cute, and entertaining, but crunchy, too.

Barack Obama Presidential Exploratory Committee Email

2007-01-25T08:41:00.000-05:00

Dear Friend,
If nothing else, the last election proved that politics-by-slogan and poll-tested sound bites aren't going to cut it with the American people anymore, and that's why the real test of leadership is not what the President said to Congress last night, but how he works with Congress in the months to come to find real solutions to America's problems.
The good news is that in the halls of Congress and across the nation, there is widespread support from both Democrats and Republicans on how to meet the major challenges facing America.
Most Americans believe that escalation will not bring the war in Iraq to a responsible end, and that's why I've proposed not just a troop cap, but a phased redeployment that will start bringing our troops home.
Most Americans believe that energy independence will come from using more biofuels like ethanol and making cars that actually use less oil, which is why I proposed a bipartisan plan that would raise fuel economy standards for the first time in decades.
Most Americans believe that the biggest domestic challenge facing the country is the high cost of health care, and that's why incremental plans that do nothing to bring down costs or guarantee coverage are simply no longer sufficient. We must pass universal health care for every American.
The American people are looking for something new. They are hungry for a different kind of politics. In the last week, I've been humbled and inspired to see more than 100,000 of you sign up to join our efforts to change the debate in this country, so that we can begin solving our common problems and pursuing our common dreams.
Last night was an evening for rhetoric and promises. But now is the time for action - now is the time to actually get something done. You deserve leadership that's commensurate to the challenges we face in this country, and I look forward to working with all of you to make this happen in the days and months to come.
Sincerely, U.S. Senator Barack Obama

*************
Seriously, a rousing email. The only thing that ruined it at the end for me was the "CONTRIBUTE" button. Oh well. Guess they need to get funds somehow, right?

Waiting on the Period Fairy

2007-01-24T22:46:00.000-05:00

I was fertile around the 12th, 13th, and 14th of January. We were like beautiful, natural animals - rabbits - during that time.

I hate having to wait two weeks to see if anything took root. Which is probably why I would never be a very good gardener. I am far too impatient.

And so now...I wait. Occasionally I feel a twinge of cramping. My breasts would hurt by now if I was prego; I know this from previous experience. Sigh.

And so...I look forward to allowing the crimson to flow in a couple days, cleanse me, and ready me for the joy in trying next month. Whereupon, once again, I will grab Dave and hide in our bedroom for a few days.

Oh hush. You know men like that sort of thing.

B Movies

2007-01-24T21:52:00.000-05:00

I remember watching my first "B movie" when I was about 15, staying up all night with Joe Bob Brigg's Drive In Theater on TMC (The Movie Channel). It was "Dracula Rising" , starring Christopher Atkins. Yeeeesshh. I still have it on VHS around here somewhere and occasionally pop it in to watch, and remember how it felt to watch the cheesy hero and heroine, the laughable villain, and the gory-ness of it all.

With popcorn, it's a teenager's dream.

My absolute favorite B Movie of all time though, is "Doctor Mordrid" with the famous (well, at least in B movie circles) Jeffrey Combs.

Now, Mr. Combs in my book is AWESOME as an actor (it also doesn't hurt that he was raised in Lompoc, CA - where I was born and spent my pre-teen years heeheehee). Apparently Dave thinks even higher of him than I do though because of his being in movies based on H.P. Lovecraft's books as a main character. He was also a regular returning actor on the "Star Trek" various series from TNG, to DS9, and Enterprise. I simply loved Mr. Combs because of his creepy portrayal of a hero - Dr. Mordrid.

I have to say though, Dave and I were absolutely ECSTATIC when Jeffrey Combs showed up on the Sci-Fi series that airs on USA called "The 4400" as Dr. Kevin Burkhoff. He's such a great character - and we're hopeful to see more of him when the series starts up again this summer.

Dave got me on this kick tonight because he had seen Jeffrey Combs as Edgar Allan Poe in a Masters of Horror production. A site to behold, I hear.

I fondly remember flinching at the blood spurting of the movie "Children of the Night" with Ami Dolenz and Peter DeLuise. heh.

And we can't forget that legendary grouping of Subspecies movies -- like "Subspecies", "Bloodstone: Subspecies II", "Bloodlust: Subspecies III" , etc... I hear they are making a 5th one now. Let the vamps die already, please. *L*

Yes, yes... and we can't forget the "BasketCase" movies. Ahhh.... B Movies. How I miss them.

What would it take

2007-01-22T21:10:00.000-05:00

I asked Dave the other night out of curiousity under what circumstances he would leave me. Kinda like "What would it take to make you want to leave me?"

He looked at me as he cuddled me close and stated, "A persistent vegetative state lasting greater than 20 years."

*G*